Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Meltdown Over

I expect it will come back and bite me again some time but for the moment I am moving forward again.  Thanks to everyone for your support.  I would like to say that I won't do that to you again, but I almost certainly will at some stage. I find that the negative emotions like grief, fear and anger are lurkers in the undergrowth.  The phrase that's life leapt to my mind then.  Why do we only use that phrase for the days when everything goes pear-shaped:  when you step out of bed into a pile of freshly deposited cat vomit, all your bones hurt and none of your clothes fit?  It would be nice to use it in the context of the days (admittedly rarer) when everything comes together, and everything including body and mind works as it should.

And joy and bliss.  All the bulbs that had arrived are now in the ground.  Despite me backing into a rose bush and to quote the smaller portion scratching my lower back/upper bum 'in a way which would have made Jazz proud'.  We had to squeeeze to get the last tulips in, but they are now in place.  Some time later this week another box of spring flowering joy will arrive (the Gambler's Pot Luck collection), but it is likely to be small (only 50 or so bulbs) and I know where they are going to go.  And yesterday afternoon the smaller portion and I fixed the lining on the car ceiling so that it no longer droops down and dangerously obscures vision.   I was on call for LL last night and it was reasonably quiet and I got most of a night's sleep.  Back on a roll again.

Today I plan nothing more strenuous that sweeping the veranda, feeding the birds and reading.  I have started a biography of Alfred Bestall, the creator and illustrator of Rupert Bear.  And I have loved Rupert since I first stole my brother's Rupert Bear Christmas Annuals all those years ago.

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13 comments:

  1. Cloudia27 April 2011 at 12:51

    you are entitled!


    Warm Aloha from Honolulu


    Comfort Spiral

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  2. Windsmoke.27 April 2011 at 15:26

    Put your feet up for a few days and chill out you've earned it big time :-).

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  3. Marie27 April 2011 at 15:45

    Oh, I remember dear Rupert Bear and his snazzy checked trousers and scarf as well. I don't know anything about the man who created Rupert, but do let us know if it is a good biography and I'll badger the library here to get it in.

    I think we all have meltdown moments, but the good thing is that they do go over (even though at the time it seems as though it will never end). And we pick ourselves up, dust off and lump along again as best we can. I know that I could never do what you do with LL and not remain unaffected by the desperation. That sort of emotional upheaval is bound to have an effect on your lurking demons and your general frustration at your body refusing to co-operate with what your brain is saying.

    Your garden is going to be a colourful paradise come September and you won't remember these aches and pains. I giggled at the "Gambler's Pot Luck collection" - let's hope you hit the jackpot with that one. :-)

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  4. Elephant's Child27 April 2011 at 15:57

    Thanks Cloudia, Windsmoke, Marie: Today has indeed been a goof off day. Lovely. And we went down to the lake and were mugged by black swans (photos to follow) and enjoyed kangas soaking up the autumnal sun. A really, really nice outing.

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  5. Paper Chipmunk (aka Ellen)27 April 2011 at 16:59

    Good! I'm so glad. You need some restorative time.

    I kind of like being mugged by big birds myself... Reminds me of a time I was walking through St. James's Park in London years ago. Someone behind me suddenly began tugging on the back of my coat, frantic to get my attention. I turned around and realized the "person" doing the tugging was a large goose, eyeing me with expectation. It's still a memory that makes me smile.

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  6. Murr Brewster27 April 2011 at 17:41

    Tulip-planting defines hope.

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  7. Elephant's Child28 April 2011 at 10:47

    Paper Chipmunk: I love the image of the goose tugging on your coat. I understand that they are/were used as watch dogs in some parts of Europe so they are obviously powerful birds.

    Murr: Not sure about hope - think greed might be more accurate. Twenty or thirty is hope. Over 400 is gluttony.

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  8. Snowbrush28 April 2011 at 12:08

    "I would like to say that I won't do that to you again..."

    I read the post to which you refer, and I don't know what you're talking about here. You seem to feel that you did something amiss, but I have no idea what it was.

    "days when...you step out of bed into a pile of freshly deposited cat vomit"

    That's an example of cat humor, you know. Sick little buggers are cats.

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  9. Elephant's Child28 April 2011 at 13:05

    Snow: I felt that I was whinging and whining, about things which cannot be changed. And I try (often unsuccessfully) to do neither. And yes cat vomit is v amusing to them. One of ours is often a little bit sick - in four or five places.

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  10. Snowbrush28 April 2011 at 13:15

    Well, I thought that might be what you meant (for lack of another explanation), but I didn't take it that way. If your every post was (a) about the same thing and (b) filled with self-pity, that would be different, but if what you did was whining, then I better take down my current post NOW.

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  11. Elephant's Child28 April 2011 at 13:22

    Snow: No, no, no. Your current post is not a whine. And I loved it. And if I thought you were going to take it down I would be appalled.

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  12. Snowbrush28 April 2011 at 16:52

    Which was rather how I felt about yours.

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  13. Elephant's Child28 April 2011 at 17:01

    Snow: OK, point taken. Thanks. But I expect that you too sometimes feel that your whole world revolves round pain, and that other people MUST be tired of it.

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