Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Another hospital update.

This morning a little after six I finally managed to speak to the nursing staff.  And I only got disconnected once.  She told me that his high and skinniness 'had a really good nights sleep, was very comfortable and in no pain.'  I listened, I hoped, but experience has made a disbeliever of me.

I told one of my brothers and a friend this morning, both of the nurse's statement and of my distrust.  Both of them told me I was being negative, cynical and not helping anyone.

When the ward was open for business I went to visit.  Sadly I was right.  He looks dreadful this morning and admits to feeling less than perfect.  He says he got very little sleep, is in considerable pain - and nauseous.

Then he went on to give me further less than wonderful news.  Shortly before they started the surgery they discovered the problem was considerably more extensive than they had thought.  A much longer and more complicated operation ensued.  And, worse still, the surgeon visited him this morning and told him that there will be more operations in his future.  Operations plural.

He has now had seven abdominal surgeries - which is more than enough.  Except that it won't be enough.

I didn't stay long this morning - and left hoping he would get some sleep.  I will go back this afternoon.

I am well aware that things could be a great deal worse.  Just the same, I am feeling sad for him.  And tired to the bone.

Thank you so much for all your messages of support.  They have meant a lot - to me and to him.

50 comments:

  1. So, WHAT DID THEY DO???? You know I've had a mess of abdominal surgeries, and with each one, there's always a hitch in the surgery, followed by more surgery. What the hell are they NOT succeeding in doing???

    This has me very upset for his skinniness and you.

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  2. Oh EC, I'm floored, and so disappointed for you both.

    After seven surgeries, they're surely not doing something right??
    Is there anyone - anyone at all - that you can get another opinion from?
    But, would it do any good.
    What a bloody mess the system has put you both in.

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  3. Dear EC, what a mixed bag of news and results. I have been wondering how you both ere doing. I hope he recovers with no further dramas. Xxx

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  4. Cannot even imagine your simple courage! So I guess "second opinions" are for the rich only?
    My deepest feelings of caring and hope are with you now, and for as long as you need them. When you want to say something you're not allowed to say, write it in an email to me and I will listen. . . Sincerely, Your Friend

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  5. This doesn't sound good Sue. The poor man, gosh, how much can one person endure. I'm so sorry for you both.

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  6. Spending enough time around the medical profession will make a cynic out of anyone. Much sympathy and strength to you both. You're a great gift to him.

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  7. Well, fuck. I'm sorry your suspicions were correct.

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  8. I am sorry to hear that things have not improved since the previous surgeries - either in the medical staffs' attitudes or in the SP's abdominal health. How incredible, and not in a good way, that you could not get vital information in a timely way about something so serious and nerve-wracking. I would be livid.

    I hope your partner recovers quickly from this surgery in order to move onward in the process. And although I know from experience how hard this next one is, I hope that for a few hours when you're at home you can put all your worries in a box on a shelf behind closed doors ... so that you can rest and keep up your strength.

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  9. Oh no, I'm so very sorry to hear this!

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  10. HI EC I have just read yesterday and today's post and am horrified at what is going on to your hubby and yourself. I do hope today he will be stronger and have slept more. Remember to look after yourself.

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  11. EC ~ just home and read your update. What I have observed from my son's stay in hospital recently is that there is a disconnect between the nursing staff and the doctors. It does not help for smooth "customer service". I hope the skinny one has managed to rest and you have too. Take care x

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  12. :( :( :( :( :(, if I had a key for tears they would be here.
    What's wrong with that hospital? They can't spare one minute to give you a tiny word of encouragement?
    Are the surgeons botching things up? Or just encountering unexpected problems they don't know how to fix?

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  13. That is some of the worst news I've heard from anyone of late. Words truly fail me. The staff and doctors of that hospital need a good shake up and I'd be sending a written complaint to the Health Department for present and past treatment of you both,.
    I feel so bad for your both and it's impossible to believe that any surgeon worth his salt wouldn't have known the last time he operated that things weren't as straight forward as he lead you to believe. I feel you are definitely not being told the whole truth and I'd be demanding it from someone.
    I am so fortunate that with all the operations I've had I have no complaints (except one physio was pretty hopeless) and have come through OK. Obviously my own have not been quite so complicated thank goodness.
    Please tell the SP that kind and positive thoughts are winging their way to both of you. Thinking of you both and just wishing all your troubles would go away and all will be all right.....soon.
    I go along with River's questions....do the surgeons know how to fix the problems they are encountering. They do have to be straight with you.

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  14. wondering if another hospital and surgeon might be the answer, so sorry for the now and the future for you both, hope it can be resolved quickly and the skinny one gets some much needed rest. I have heard it said that patients often have to be home to get any rest as hospitals sadly aren't conducive to sleep or rest.

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  15. This is so wearing for both of you. I'm distressed for your future fortitude. You have all my hugs and you're welcome to hiss and spit at any time to me. I wish I could do more than give you virtual pats from a distance.

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  16. I'm so sorry. I know that wasn't the news you wanted. Don't lose hope. Know it's tough, but just hang in there.

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  17. I wish the nurse's version of the night's events had turned out to be true - and I agree with many of your commenters. I don't know the reason(s) for all these abdominal surgeries (either I've missed that info or it's never been divulged here), so for all I know they've all been necessary, life-saving procedures. But as someone who could go head to head with you in a cynicism championship when it comes to western medicine as practiced (and that term is no accident!) in most things except trauma, I am deeply dubious. That is an inordinate number of surgeries, all risky - poor SP must have an abdominal cavity filled with little other than scar tissue by now! And does SP ever actually experience any improvement from any of these operations? Doesn't seem to. And honestly, did the lying nurse not think you'd be in to see and talk to SP yourself this morning? Or was her shift over by then so she wouldn't have to be held accountable? Consider these all rhetorical questions - they're really my way of expressing supreme dismay and disgust on behalf of you and SP, who have both been put through quite enough already! I hope SP's condition improves mightily, quickly, steadily - and that his doctors start finding their Ferrari and mega-yacht payments from a different source! (Oz may have socialized medicine, but I'm betting there's a money trail and profiteering somewhere in all this! See… cynical). Sending much love and support to you both...

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  18. I took my CPAP machine and stayed in the hospital room with my husband. This way they couldn't' make up stupid lies. Plus when they didn't answer his call button I could go get a nurse and drag them in the room. If that is not possible, I suggest you leave a voice activated tape recorder in his room when you are not able to be there. Just put it on a shelf and leave the red blinking light pointed toward the wall. It still records nicely:)

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  19. With all the very expensive equipment they have today, and all the times that he has been opened up, it is inexplicable that they did not know what they would find. I am so sorry for all that you have both gone through. Don't give up hope.

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  20. I can't add anymore to what has been said except to add my voice to the chorus of concern. So sorry anyone has to endure this physical and emotional agony your family has right now. I will add my prayers and hopes to the stack in your corner.

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  21. My best wishes and hopes for navigating this awful mess.

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  22. Golly - it seems as if something could be done all at once. Sounds as if one thing is leading to another. So sorry you both have to go through that. Hugs!

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  23. Wow EC, I can't possibly add more to what has been said, but I know that it is hard and that you are exhausted. You are in my thoughts.

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  24. I got here and read the post, then the comments, and have nothing at all to add except that I too am bewildered by all that is happening to him. Do you not have the possibility of getting second opinions? What a mess. My heart is sore for both of you.

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  25. Oh EC, I'm so, so, sorry. What terrible news. Poor guy. (And poor you.) Please know I'm thinking of you both and hoping for better news for you both. HUGS! xoxoxoxo

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  26. Ah I'm so sorry to hear that, it's bad enough that we now always doubt the nursing staff, the medical staff full stop actually, but that we are right to do so is the worst way to be right. And the ops, he's made of tough stuff your skinny one, but it must be wearing you both out to nothing hearing that. I hope they are wrong about the extent of extra surgery needed too. Have some love and hugs for both of you, *hugs n loves X

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  27. So, did they go in and nick something and now have to fix their nicks? This is disconcerting. I am very sorry to hear you all have to go through this. Again. And yet AGAIN. Hang in there.

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  28. It saddens me that they aren't being honest with you. One of the first things I learned in nursing is be gentle and honest. People can accept the truth ... they need to accept the truth and I know you would be grateful for it. My heart aches when I think of what your SP is going through. I admire both of you for your strength, but I know ... what choice do you have? I don't know SP's diagnosis, but it is surely devastating. One surgery is difficult ... seven and more to come? I am so sorry, EC ... I can't even imagine how tired you both must be. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers ... I pray for a good outcome and a comfortable end to SP suffering and yours as well. Go outside, breath the air, watch the birds ... rest your tired soul and then find the strength to face another day. I hear you EC ... so sorry!

    Andrea @ From The Sol

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  29. My heart is with you. I feel so badly that you are going through so much. It's hard to distinguish the suffering of a loved one from your own sometimes and I know you wish you could just heal him quickly and easily. Love requires so much from us. And you are a true lover.

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  30. Dear Sue, I'm so sorry to learn that there will be more operations. Both of you must be so tired. As you say, "tired to the bone." And I encourage you to take good care of yourself because you are going to be his care giver, and to do that you must be in good health yourself. So please be gracious yourself in the days and weeks and months ahead. Peace.

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  31. WOW! I am so sorry to hear that there will be more operations. I really can't add to any of the other comments. But just to say that you and SP are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  32. I know what you're going through...not with the surgeries, but with dealing with illness, being there for someone.

    Take it one day at a time. I know, it's easy to say, but difficult to do. But try to block out any worrying thoughts of tomorrow.

    And remember to take care of you too.

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  33. I am so sorry. That's so far beyond exhausting and discouraging for your both. Will send out healing thoughts and prayers for your husband and family.

    xoRobyn

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  34. So sorry, hugs. Hope he gets proper care and gets well soon.

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  35. This is sad news EC that the road to recovery will be longer and more arduous than you hoped for. And then to face more operations as an option would weary the strongest of bones.
    Positive vibes and all good wishes coming yours and S's way.
    R.

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  36. Oh dear. I am very sorry to hear that more surgeries will ensue. That is not good news at all.

    I can only but pass on my thoughts from across the ditch and hope that this nightmare will soon end xo

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  37. So sorry to hear this, do hope this improves in the future.
    Merle...........

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  38. Hi Sue,

    I do wish to let you know that I'm first of all very sorry that I've been unable to keep up with your updates. However, my dear friend, let's hope that the situation will get better for your beloved. Frustration, anxiety and concern, I want that to all go away. Bless you and here's to hope and love.

    Penny.

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  39. Oh Sue, I am so sorry to read this. I hope by now he feels at least a little bit better. What a drag to go through this and then being told that there will be more operations. And no wonder you are distrusting - I would be either.

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  40. Dear EC, what a schemozzle they are putting you both through! Not fair, of course, and so distressing for you and the SP. My thoughts are with you both, lots of love and hugs from the Central Coast going your way.

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  41. Oh, dear, dear EC and Small Portion....such a stressful, painful time. I do so feel for you both...it's difficult to put into words, but I'm sure...I hope you understand...my best wishes and thoughts are with you both...and to you, Sir Skinny One...we're all here behind and beside you, in the hope we give you strength.

    Hugs to you both.

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  42. I'm agreeing with what Mimsie and a few others have said, someone isn't telling you the full story and in my opinion you really, really need to know. Is there somebody "higher up" that you can speak to? The head surgeon or registrar or whatever the big boss calls himself?

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  43. Holding you both in my thoughts and prayers....may the combined good wishes of all here on this page help to give you and the Skinny One strength.

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  44. I'm so sad for you and him to have to go through it. Hurrah for procedures that work, boo that they don't work with just one time. :( Here's to a speedy recovery this time, to get him home and have both of you happy.

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  45. I can relate to what you are saying.
    My friend has undergone the same thing (surgery after surgery for the last 28 years) but she is a real fighter and is now in San Hose to be with her first grandchild who is just a month old.

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  46. I'm praying for both you and him. DRagon Hugs!

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  47. Here's sending you huge bear hugs to you and him all the way from GB.

    Greetings from London.

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  48. Can't add much, except F****!!! Dealing with the scum medical staff is almost as bad as the physical ordeal itself.

    Btw, (referring to earlier in the ordeal) I hope you like the neighbor who turned out to work in Admissions. I once wound up hospitalized and the head nurse on my ward was a neighbor we've had a long unpleasant history with. It chills me knowing she got to read through my medical notes. Sort of like being in a hospital designed by Stephen King's imagination…

    Come to think of it, that hospital seems to be the one your beloved is in as well…. Bwaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

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  49. I don't know what to say, what a horrible ordeal for you both and sending a big hug!

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