Very, very personally. Whether they admit to the acquaintance or not.
Which means that this next gem is also true.
I use those difficult people (too many of them family) to take a kind of personal audit. And it is overdue. At the moment I am not liking my bad tempered mean spirited whinging self. At all. Action is required.
With a little help from...
The second one is so true.
ReplyDeleteDig that van!
Alex J. Cavanaugh: I need that van...
DeleteI have never seen a van like that.. Cool! Now take a deep breath and keep calm.
ReplyDeleteMargaret Adamson: If that van came into my street I would follow it. For blocks and blocks and blocks.
DeleteLove the winebulance. Does it make deliveries with its sirens on?
ReplyDeleteDid you read Olive Kitteridge? Some of Olive's negative traits hit a bit close to home.
Sue in Italia/In the Land of Cancer: I assume that like the ice-cream truck the winebulance has music to identify it.
DeleteI don't know Olive Kitteridge - will track her down.
You know, that winebulance goes right through my neighborhood every evening. Sending you lots of love for these gems. :-)
ReplyDeleteDJan: Every evening? Lucky, lucky, lucky - and hugs returned.
DeleteI cannot imagine you being "bad tempered" etc. However, it must have been a compelling summons to rush the winebulance half onto the daffodils.
ReplyDeleteGeo.: I hadn't noticed that the winebulance was crushing daffodils - which says something about how urgent my need is...
Deleteleave it to you to put some humor into the matter, love this post
ReplyDeleteLinda Starr: There isn't much I won't laugh at.
DeleteThanks for the laugh. It's either laugh or cry in my family too. I stay home and choose to laugh. Mean family members do not share my DNA. I refuse those genes.
ReplyDeleteMom at home: I look much, much better laughing than crying. And I love the idea of rejecting some genes. Some days I don't know how much of me would be left though...
DeleteOh, wow, a winebulance is just the thing!
ReplyDeleteKathleen Cassen Mickelson: Wouldn't it be luverly?
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason Andrea's comment took up about three pages so I have deleted it.
DeleteIt read:I love your solution to your mean spirited self (though I find it very hard to believe you have a mean bone in your body). A little tip of the wine class changes our perspective in many ways and besides, it just tastes good :)
Andrea @ Fron The Sol
Andrea: I am very grateful for your vote - but can assure you that I do indeed have rather a lot of mean bones. A whole skeleton of them. I am working on it.
Hugs.
Firstly, I think blogger is having a tantrum, because the comment box is about two miles below your post.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, man oh man, can I relate to your sentiments! Family. Pah. Kindred spirits, EC.
And as for the Winebulance .... why the hell haven't we got one of those in NZ??? Brilliant. Bloody brilliant!!
Wendy: Blogger was having an undeserved hissy fit at Andrea's comment. I think it is now fixed.
DeleteAnd yes, a Winebulance would be marvellous. Red wine. Of course.
That goes without saying.
DeleteFamilies are a treat aren't they? Get some flashing lights and a siren on that winebulance.
ReplyDeleteDelores: Or a tune - like the one the ice-cream truck uses here. What would you recommend?
DeleteDean Martin's "Little Old Wine Drinker Me"
Delete...and a punch ticket that allows a free glass after twelve punched holes.
ReplyDeleteOh, how I love this post.
Susan Kane: I think the punch ticket should allow a free glass after seven punched holes. Twelve might take a smidgeon too long.
DeleteOnce upon a time....when I was a child...I thought every family other than my own was "normal" and I admired those picture-book families from afar....then I grew up and discovered this was not so.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm much, much older and wiser, I realise I'm the only normal person in the world! :)
Lee: I have a fridge magnet which reads 'the only normal people are those you don't know very well'.
DeleteWhich makes sense to me.
I'm with Lee. It took growing up in my family for me to assure many, many friends and acquaintances there is no such thing as a normal family.
ReplyDeleteJoanne Noragon: I certainly don't know any normal families - or people.
DeleteEvery family has them they make our families unique, I just hope I'm not the one in our family but if you listen to my kids, I am the one.
ReplyDeleteMerle........
Merlesworld: Some families have a LOT of them. And some of my family would assure you that I AM the one.
DeleteOh awesome! A winebulance. It helps to live far from relatives. Although, mine aren't so bad.
ReplyDeleteM Pax: Some days the galaxy is too small. And a winebulance an essential.
DeleteLove the sayings and I want the van to come visit in my neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteMason Canyon: Me too, me too.
DeleteI have never seen this van – the Winebulance. That sounds like a great addition to the foodie trucks.
ReplyDeleteVagabonde: An addition - or a replacement?
Deletewaiihhhh...I cry for the truth hurts
ReplyDeleteR. Mac Wheeler: Have a glass of wine with me. We will both feel better.
DeleteBest thing I've seen today.And I've been up since 5am!
ReplyDeletedinahmow: I beat you up - but am very, very glad you like it.
DeleteCalling wine, one, one :)
ReplyDeleteVicki: Wait your turn... that line is very, very busy some days.
DeleteHA! Wine, one, one... now that's FUNNY!
DeleteI so, so agree with the second quote. And I cannot imagine you being anything but what we see here, which is a generous, kind, inclusive and encouraging lady with a huge heart.
ReplyDeleteWhen things get to be too much, Keep Calm And Carry ... a wineglass! Or maybe the whole bottle :)
jenny_o: Humour aside, that second quote has a lot of truth. And it is a work in progress. Something I need to monitor and work on.
DeleteAnd the bottle sounds good today. Very good. A big bottle.
You are JUST my sort!
ReplyDeleteALOHA from Honolulu
ComfortSpiral
=^..^= . <3 . >< } } (°>
Cloudia: Sisters-under-the-skin.
DeleteThat Winebulance is such an essential service. I can't believe we don't have that here where I live. But somehow I'll fing a way to work on my insanity too. Even if I must drive to get the cure.
ReplyDeleteMyrna R.: Insanity is a lifelong work in progress. And the winebulance SHOULD be an essential, government-funded service.
DeleteThere have been many people in my life that are so amazing and I strive to be like them but in all honesty, there have been a lot more that I strive not to be like.
ReplyDeleteditchingthedog: Me too. Many more negative examples.
DeleteI haven't seen a Winebulance in Australia, but certainly saw something like that in England.
ReplyDeleteAndrew: We need to import them. Quickly.
DeleteIt's awfully nice of the winebulance to make housecalls.
ReplyDeleteI try to appreciate the fact that I'm not the miserable person who upsets me, because it must feel miserable to be so miserable all the time.
Rawknrobyn: Miserable I cope with rather better than mean. Misery sometimes can't help itself - meanness usually can.
DeleteHugs.
i haven't noticed that you are in need of medicating for meanness or those kinds of things but a little self medicating never hurt!
ReplyDeletekylie: Sometimes it is an essential.
DeleteHang in! I will get off my ass and mail you those magnets when the expected sleet has melted.
ReplyDeleteRiot Kitty: I am hanging in. And no rush on the magnet front. Anticipation - but no rush.
DeleteAha, found the bottom finally. I have learned the way not to act from so many people.
ReplyDeletePractical Parsimony: Some days it seems like the negative examples are far too common.
DeleteI have 'stolen' that last image and have the prefect recipient in mind.
ReplyDeleteI look around at the people in my life too, and resolve to never be like so-and-so or that other one.
River: I hope the recipient of the winebulance loves it.
DeleteShe did.
DeleteRiver: Good.
DeleteLol, the last photo is funny, ha ha ha.
ReplyDeleteBob Bushell: I would love to see it comind down my street.
DeleteYou are so right! I have perfect examples surrounding me of who I don't want to be. :) Of course, it's driven me around the bend too far in the opposite direction...
ReplyDeleteRiver Fairchild: I doubt you are as far in the opposite direction as you believe. You are a positive inspiration to me. Often.
DeleteSHuuuut Up!
ReplyDeleteThat van ROCKS.
Luv you, Sue. xxx
My Inner Chick: The van is a missed business opportunity it is clear. Rather a lot of us would welcome it.
DeleteHugs.
It's so smart to see when an attitude adjustment is needed and work towards making it. Most people are too prideful to do that... so I think it's nice. And LOL to your winebulance!!! :)
ReplyDeletemail4rosey: Prideful? Or eyes firmly shut. And yay for winebulances.
DeleteI wonder if the winebulance can be franchised.
ReplyDeleteStarting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe: The winebulance obviously SHOULD be franchised.
DeleteI'm bordering on whiney too. Weather...too cold too soon. I feel like caged lion already...should not feel this way until February here. Ah, a long winter comes......
ReplyDeleteBookie: Too hot too soon here - but I know exactly what you mean. Today is expected to nudge the 100 mark - and I will be skulking inside.
DeleteNow, that is one cool van. I know where you're coming from. We've all been there.
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.
A Cuban in London: Sad isn't it? Far too familiar to far too many of us.
DeleteLove love love those first two and can totally relate.
ReplyDeleteThings Are Looking U.P.: Yup.
DeleteI am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?
ReplyDeleteAmerican women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.
This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.
BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!
www.boycottamericanwomen.com
Anonymous: You are a perfect example of someone I don't want to be.
DeleteSometimes whining can be justified. . .and wining can be necessary for balance in the galaxy. Hang tough.
ReplyDeleteD.G Hudson: I am a firm believer in give us this day our daily whinge - but need to do more than just whinge. Sometimes action is essential.
DeleteI know plenty of my friends who would love that winebalance. What a hoot! I also would like to add when I have met very difficult people in my life, a friend once said 'just thank God you don't have to live with them".
ReplyDeleteDeniseinVA: And of course the only person you have to live with its yourself. Which is why I do these audits...
DeleteIt is a little scary when you start complaining about others and realize you do some of the things you're complaining about. I've spent so much time working from home with just my husband and dog around, I'm a little worried about my level of tolerance during the holidays with all that family around.
ReplyDeleteStephanie Faris: I NEED time on my own. Which is part of the reason I get up several hours earlier than the smaller portion. And when we have house guests I get up even earlier.
DeleteHi Sue,
ReplyDeleteEvidently, diarrhoea runs in the family. Um, ignore my crap...
I discovered that the difficulties I had with my son were actually bizarre lessons of love. I get plenty of time on my own to reflect. I'm here and my family is in Canada.
All the beast, um best and no whining over wine, I reckon :)
Gary
klahanie: Dear Gary, how nice to see you out and about in the blogosphere. I hope your difficulties are diminishing.
DeleteWith NINETY COMMENTS so far, you've got a large audience ready to hear all the whining and complaining you can dish out. I always say "As far as everyone knows - we're normal. So keep your mouth shut and don't prove them wrong."
ReplyDeletelotta joy: I am very, very lucky that so many people visit - and comment. And most of them are very, very welcome.
DeleteNormal? No such animal. Not in the human race anyway.
Now yer' tawkin' my language here! I cannot tell you how difficult it has been on our family --- the battles, the illnesses, the fights amongst ourselves due to STRESS --- so the WINEbulance is the next best thing to ...."sanity"!
ReplyDeleteI really loved this post.
Thank you.
P.S. "Wine/whine" all you want! hehe.. And cheers...!
Deb: Sanity can be an elusive beast can't it? And wine o'clock a lifesaver.
DeleteToo funny! I think many of can relate to having crazy families. I am still waiting for the winebulance to visit my street. :)
ReplyDelete~Jess
DMS: Too many of us understand the crazy family game - and would welcome the winebulance. Some days I think I wouldn't let them leave.
DeleteI think a lot of families have some craziness in them! Glad to see you're keeping your sense of humour though.
ReplyDeleteladyfi: I think most families have some craziness in them. And laughter is more integral to me than my skeleton - and more support as well.
Deletebloody hilariously brilliant! I need a "wha"-balance made for me. :D
ReplyDeleteTammy Theriault: Don't we all? Or rather a lot of us. A business opportunity going begging.
DeleteOh, we have enough mental health issues in the family but retaining the sense of humour is the saving grace. Not that that's always easy or even possible.
ReplyDeleteI think the tune on the winebulance would be that Porphry Pearl ad, take a pair of sparkling eyes...
Carol: A sense of humour is usually the saving grace. Not always easy, or possible - but surprisingly often it is.
DeleteI was thinking along the line of Lily the Pink...
I wish just once it could be possible to be a better person without having to deal with crap situations first.
ReplyDeleteMichael D'Agostino: As a species we are slow, and not very efficient learners aren't we?
DeleteSounds like a very sensible cure-all to me. Phil has his glass of red wine every evening so perhaps that is what keeps him on a quite reasonable balance. I think he needs it as he has to put up with me. Fortunately he and I can both laugh at each other and ourselves and that helps a lot too.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your tipple.
Mimsie: Laughter (particularly) at ourselves is a wonderful thing. And a glass of red wine doesn't hurt either.
DeleteOh EC, clever girl!
ReplyDeleteA sense of humour, as we know, can often save the day.
:)
Rose ~ from Oz: I am so very grateful for my sense of humour - black though it is.
DeleteLOL that first photo is definitely describing my family
ReplyDeleteI wish you a wonderful weekend :)
Optimistic Existentialist: Rather a lot of families fit the mould don't they? Every family perhaps...
DeleteAnd a wonderful weekend to you too.
Yes, wine helps. Winebulance - great idea, it makes me laugh.
ReplyDeleteBTW, there are often days when I don't like myself either. You're certainly not alone.
Carola Bartz: I am always more comfortable with people who aren't in love with themselves - though I would like some of their confidence. In the interim laughter and a winebulance are good substitutes.
DeleteI like the ambulance, I have a similar service that bring Jack Daniels when in need. A deep breath, a deep glass, close your eyes and look at the sunset. And have a hug too *hugs*.
ReplyDeleteAll Consuming: Thank you. The hug helped. Lots.
DeleteLots of people fancy themselves role models; unfortunately, too many of them are demonstrating how NOT to be. I figure, as long as we can still figure out which ones are the good guys and strive to be one of them ourselves, we're doing okay.
ReplyDeleteHave another glass of wine, and let the "mean" edges soften a bit. (Although I have a hard time imagining you being anything close to mean.)
Susan: Mostly the bad examples are very, very obvious. And too frequent.
DeleteAnd yes, I do have mean edges. Sharp pointed mean edges.
Haha, I only glimpsed the van at first and thought your memes were going to end on a serious "get help" note. Then I saw the WINEBULANCE! Hey, if it helps and you don't have a problem with dependency, have a sip. The world's better with you in it.
ReplyDeleteI also just noticed "Wet" on your sidebar. Made me smile. Thank you for reading it.
John Wiswell: I loved Wet. I have read it twice, and it pops into my head at intervals. Thank you so much for writing it.
DeleteMy mother was an alcoholic who would have liked a wine tanker rather than a winebulance so I am careful with my consumption. A glass - and not every night.
These are great!.. I really like the second quote
ReplyDeleteand that Winebulance is so funny :)
Dawna: It is a wonderful reframe isn't it? I would much rather learn from the bad examples than just shudder. And some days the winebulance has a LOT of charm.
DeleteThe second one is so true. We are surrounded by different types of people.
ReplyDeleteHaddock: We are indeed - and some of them should be given a very wide berth. An exclusion zone as it were.
DeleteI know this makes me sound bad but I avoid, as much as possible, the really mad, vicious relatives, especially those who constantly lie, distort, misinterpret. The not so mad ones, I keep in touch with sometimes, as long as they're not vicious.
ReplyDeleteYes, I use the bad ones as examples as to what I don't want to be!
Guyana-Gyal: I avoid them too. And would like to avoid them even more.
DeleteReading the comments here, and I agree, nod, yes, yes, mmhm, that's my people too. I love it how ALL families are the same, regardless of culture, country, race, colour haha :-D
ReplyDeleteGuyan-Gyal: Isn't it lovely that so many of us have found family here in the blogosphere. No blood - but a lot of caring. Pure bliss.
DeleteThey are all so appropriate in they own ways. We can learn a great deal from the bad examples and change the ingrained family pattern forever.
ReplyDeleteArija: I hope so. I really hope so. And am working on it.
DeleteWe all have bad/hard times where it is hard to hang on to the self you want to be (and usually are). Rest and time to be kind to yourself, and time with activities and the people who lift you up, are the key.
ReplyDeleteI loved the second one - I often think of angry/bitter people that I keep in mind as cautionary tales of how NOT to become.
Jackie K: It is sad how many of us have those people in our lives. Or have had those people in our lives. And bad examples are often very much clearer (and more common) than the good ones.
DeleteFamily. They've always got your number... i'm lucky that i live just far enough away from most of them that i can go 'off grid' and pretend to be terribly busy when i need distance. With the serious family issues of the past few months, i have had far more time with them than i can stand - and am currently quite 'busy'.... Here's hoping you can get some relief!
ReplyDeletedaisyfae: At the moment I am living in denial (not just a river in Egypt). I am not thinking about them and not interacting with them. And it works for me. For the moment.
DeleteWe are so on the same wavelength. As you know. xx
ReplyDeletePaper Chipmunk (aka Ellen): Many years ago a friend sent me a post-card saying that the trouble with families is that their noses are too big and their characters squint. And she was diplomatic - and right.
Delete