Thursday, 12 February 2015

Back in a bit.

I am having an attack of  the inadequacies.  Neither my body nor my brain are behaving well and I cannot think of anything about myself that I like or value.

I am going out in the garden to eat worms.  When that palls perhaps I will do a little weeding.

I will be back when I have re-established some equanimity.


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101 comments:

  1. Anonymous12 February 2015 at 06:46

    Don't stay away too long. You are valued in the blogosphere.

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  2. D.G. Hudson12 February 2015 at 06:52

    I know what you mean. I'm not about much right now either, due to many things. Sometimes we just have to step away. Take care.

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    Replies
    1. neena maiya (guyana gyal)20 February 2015 at 01:50

      I too have to fight the inadequacies often, the wretches, how I dislike them.

      Delete
  3. Alex J. Cavanaugh12 February 2015 at 07:03

    I'm sorry! Return to us soon.

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  4. Myrna R.12 February 2015 at 07:05

    Take some quiet time, be good to yourself, enjoy the garden, at some point surround yourself with people you love. Wish I were near.

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  5. Relatively Retiring12 February 2015 at 07:07

    So sorry to read this. I hope you will feel much better soon. You will be missed.

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  6. Anonymous12 February 2015 at 07:15

    Thought I'd reel in my fishing line to say; I know EXACTLY how you feel. Pah.

    *Hugs*

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  7. Buttons Thoughts12 February 2015 at 07:24

    Understood:)

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  8. Birdie12 February 2015 at 07:51

    I know. I know this feeling. I hope it passes for both of us.

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  9. Lee12 February 2015 at 08:08

    Stick around, kiddo. You're not Robinson Crusoe as you can see from the comments already made. And I join in with the party, too...I have similar feelings often. Don't all those worms...save a couple for me, please. :)

    Take care. Hugs.

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  10. Mary Kirkland12 February 2015 at 08:43

    It happens and hopefully it will pass. I like reading your posts so I hope you'll be back to share more with us.

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  11. LL Cool Joe12 February 2015 at 09:02

    I think all of us have felt this at times, so I understand. Enjoy the worms and come back when you are ready.

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  12. Joanne Noragon12 February 2015 at 09:10

    I only recently recovered from a bout of what I call unclear thinking. AKA bubble brain. Worms and sunshine are a fine cure.

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  13. Cloudia12 February 2015 at 09:18

    We shall be loving, supporting, and understanding all the while my dear!


    ALOHA from Honolulu
    ComfortSpiral
    <3

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  14. Bookie12 February 2015 at 09:46

    It is so amazing that so many people know the space you are in, and you can count me as one too! Only a few weeks ago I was a blubbering fool in front of people as I just could not handle my own space. It sometimes is like our systems get overloaded like a circuit...or maybe it is like a basket full of knitting yarn, the balls tangled and knotted together. At least you are sharp enough to know what is needed and to take the time for sorting and finding the end of your strings (or ropes) again! Until a better day.....

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  15. Margaret Birding For Pleasure12 February 2015 at 09:48

    I am sad to read about how you are feeling at present.Please take as long as you need. We will miss you posts however we all want you to be better. I know you will come back when you are good and ready.

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  16. Andrea @ From The Sol12 February 2015 at 09:50

    The most famous and successful people had boughts of feeling inadequate ... often that is what inspired their successes. I don't have a doubt that you will be back making us all smile and teaching us new things as always. You will be missed, but you are surely understood ... Be well, my friend ... see you soon :)

    Andrea @ From The Sol

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  17. Vicki12 February 2015 at 09:50

    Oh, I'm so, sorry EC.
    But, I also understand...

    Wishing you well and await your return.
    Warmest hugs xxx

    As for worms... well, doesn't hurt the birds (nor very small children) none ;)
    xx

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  18. Anonymous12 February 2015 at 10:09

    You've got the mulligrubs. That's a terrible thing to have. I value you and so does everyone else who comes here. Eat some chocolate, remember we love you and get a good nights sleep. It's not a for sure cure but it can't hurt right.

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  19. Linda Starr12 February 2015 at 11:09

    I have more attacks like this than I like to admit, know I will miss you and hope you are doing well as I know for a fact that you are not inadequate by any means of measure even your own strict set of values.

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  20. Anonymous12 February 2015 at 11:12

    A warning--worms are fattening!! Come back to us soon--as you must know by reading my post, a functioning brain is not necessary for blogging!!

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  21. Sue in Italia/In the Land Of Cancer12 February 2015 at 11:27

    Well I can think of plenty of things to like about you starting with your kindness and obvious intelligence. Hopefully this dark cloud will float on by. As you can see, you have quite the fan club here.

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  22. Merlesworld12 February 2015 at 11:29

    Let me know if it works, but as far as eating worms Drummy has eaten all mine.
    Merle.........

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  23. Cindi12 February 2015 at 12:29

    You are valued. You will be missed. Be well. You are always in my prayers.

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  24. Cindi12 February 2015 at 12:29

    You are valued. You will be missed. Be well. You are always in my prayers.

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  25. Alexia12 February 2015 at 12:40

    Take care of yourself. Arohanui.

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  26. Gillie12 February 2015 at 12:45

    Sending a hug, and a hope that some of your gorgeous flowers will soothe you.

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  27. Practical Parsimony12 February 2015 at 12:57

    I have felt the same way since Sunday and then put up a morbid post just now. I cannot eat the worms since they are for the chickens. Maybe chocolate? I have been in a funk because of continuing problem with no water. Come back soon.

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  28. River12 February 2015 at 13:20

    I had a day like that yesterday, at one point I sat and cried for a bit. Today I'm covered in deep heat and up to the eyeballs in painkillers. :( Hope you feel much better soon. Take it easy, don't pull too many weeds.

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  29. Whispermist12 February 2015 at 13:52

    Take care of yourself in the meantime ....

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  30. Unknown12 February 2015 at 14:23

    Argh, I wish I could be there for you :(

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  31. Snowbrush12 February 2015 at 15:00

    A damnable situation for the worms. You would find it easier to eat worms here because they come above ground when it rains a lot, which means that, in winter, they're often above ground.

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    1. Snowbrush12 February 2015 at 15:05

      P.S. I should add that I'm very sorry you're bummed, but I can't stop thinking about the poor worms, what with your beady little eyes and your humongous teeth being the last thing the poor critters see before awakening in hell (Jesus didn't die for worms--just for people who call themselves worms--and this means that all worms go to hell). Anyway, I just remembered that you're an atheist, so you'll probably go to hell too, and when you get there, you will find yourself surrounded by some really pissed-off worms, but at least you'll have plenty to eat.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous13 February 2015 at 07:15

      What?

      Delete
    3. All Consuming13 February 2015 at 21:15

      Snow is being humorous Wendy, fear not, its something Sue will appreciate hugely I suspect.

      Hold tight and breathe deep dear, you will be missed of course on the blog, but go and look after yourself, that's the most important part. You are a strong, incredibly caring woman, one of the finest I've ever known. And you're funny too, which is a boon for all that know you. Hugs, love Xxx

      Delete
    4. Anonymous14 February 2015 at 07:36

      Oh. That's okay then :)

      Delete
    5. Snowbrush14 February 2015 at 11:50

      I had a blog friend named Renee who was dying of cancer. Renee was a very popular blogger, partly because she was so supportive of people who weren’t nearly as bad off as herself. She would get nearly as many responses to a post as Sue, and nearly all of them would be expressions of sympathy. I thought that, if I were her, such outpourings would become overwhelming, might be interpreted as pity, and might serve more to keep me in a low state than to lift me out of it, so I started making smart-ass remarks, and they worked well for Renee. Obviously, you need a somewhat dark sense of humor to appreciate such things, but she, All Consuming, Sue, and I all seem to have such a sense of humor. I might also add that men are more prone to show caring in such as way than are women.

      Delete
  32. DJan12 February 2015 at 15:24

    You're always welcome to take yourself away for a bit, but only for a bit. Enjoy those worms, EC. I laughed at some of your previous commenters. :-)

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  33. Mason Canyon12 February 2015 at 15:39

    Hope you return soon, you'll be missed. Take care.

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  34. jenny_o12 February 2015 at 15:50

    Oh, dear EC ... I can think of so much about you that I like. You are kind (kindness gets my vote for #1 quality in a person) and compassionate and have a wonderfully droll sense of humour. Hugs. I think the garden may be just what you need. Nature is healing.

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    1. Alexis, Baron von Harlot12 February 2015 at 19:52

      jenny_o, you got there first with all the things I was going to say. Elephant's Child, it probably doesn't help allay what you're feeling to hear this, but you are one of the most generous people in this here internetian town, and your blog's grouse, and your funny and lovely.

      Delete
    2. Jono13 February 2015 at 01:33

      jenny_o always knows what to say. Ditto to the above.

      Delete
  35. BECKY12 February 2015 at 16:03

    Dear EC ~ You probably are not aware of the fact that YOU are a fantastic writer! The few sentences you composed here say so much. I hope you feel better soon....I'll e-mail you tomorrow...that will be the 12th in my part of the world!

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  36. 1st Man12 February 2015 at 16:21

    come back soon!!

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  37. Geo.12 February 2015 at 16:49

    Equanimity is one of the few words that still make me stutter. So best speed composing yourself and know I look forward to the pleasure of your renewed company.

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  38. Unknown12 February 2015 at 18:35

    I hope you feel more like yourself soon. That is an awful place to be, so don't stay long. Plus your gardens need the worms! Hugs, Teresa

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  39. petronela12 February 2015 at 19:26

    sending love :)>

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  40. The Cranky12 February 2015 at 21:08

    Sending you huge hugs and a cubic butt-tonne of understanding. It seems to be hitting here as well.
    The worms may not be terribly fond of you just now, but you are valued, cared about and for, and looked up to by many. Including me, by the by.

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  41. Granny Annie12 February 2015 at 22:33

    Bless your heart. I know the feeling. Plus I am one of those who goes to the garden for worms. However everybody loves you and nobody hates you:)

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  42. Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe12 February 2015 at 22:35

    This is curable. Mix the worms with some chocolate and spend your time only doing what you want. So many of us care about you and hope that you will be back soon.

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  43. Arija12 February 2015 at 22:51

    Must be the phase of the moon or alignment of the stars, I can't think either and can barely water the garden. The heat doesn't help either.
    Take good care of yourself.

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  44. Donna@LivingFromHappiness12 February 2015 at 23:33

    As you can see by all these comments, you are well loved and so much love is being sent to you! Absorb it and know we will miss you! Take care and please stay in touch! We all need some time away sometimes.

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  45. River Fairchild12 February 2015 at 23:50

    Save a few worms for the birds and come back refreshed. I'm right there with you but I prefer eating flower buds. :D We will be here to welcome you back and shower you with love and hugs!

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  46. mshatch13 February 2015 at 00:34

    Don't eat too many - you know what they say about excess - and come back soon :)

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  47. A Cuban In London13 February 2015 at 00:56

    Hope you fry 'em before you eat 'em1 :-) Seriously now, I hope everything is all right and it's just a bit of a wobble.

    Greetings from London.

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  48. DMS13 February 2015 at 02:19

    I hope the garden helped! It always helps me to clear my head and feel good about life. Seeing things growing is inspiring and I love even the weeding. Hope the worms were good. :) Hugs!
    ~Jess

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  49. Stephanie Faris13 February 2015 at 08:31

    No worm eating! Unless you're drinking tequila...which probably would be more helpful than just going to the back yard to eat worms. (And MUCH more fun!)

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  50. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com13 February 2015 at 11:11

    We love you, and I/we know you to be a superior person. Keep that in mind when swallowing worms.

    Hugs.

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  51. Susan Kane13 February 2015 at 14:01

    Reach the point of balance that you need after eating some worms, which are apparently very good after washing, putting them in a blender with whatever alcohol and lime sherbert.. I'll watch the list for your name.

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  52. Anonymous13 February 2015 at 20:02

    Hoping balance and joy return soon!

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  53. My Inner Chick13 February 2015 at 23:46

    Love.
    Hugs.
    Kisses.
    Prayers.
    from me. xxxxxxx

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  54. Strayer14 February 2015 at 03:36

    You are awesome, you know. I've never even met you but you're about the only one who even comments on my blog. I think the world of you. I often feel terribly inadequate. My mother used to sing that song, when I was a child....Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms.

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  55. Carol14 February 2015 at 17:38

    So much love for you here, EC! Take your time, take it out on the weeds. I have a feeling that worms might be a bit gritty, though that may suit your mood. (((((EC)))))

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  56. kylie14 February 2015 at 18:40

    much love!

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  57. Jeff Hargett15 February 2015 at 02:41

    There is much about you that *I* like and value. You've been super supportive of me for a long time now. I'd love to return the favor. Brain and body can both be intractable adversaries. Sending you weapons of well-wishes with which to wage the warfare against them. And hopefully a smile or two too.

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  58. Lynn15 February 2015 at 03:28

    Take all the time you need to heal and feel better, my friend. Hugs!

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  59. Carola Bartz15 February 2015 at 05:22

    In my eyes, you don't have any reason to not like or value yourself. I like you and your opinions, the way you see things, how you write. However, I am familiar with self-doubt and not liking myself etc. It's simply awful. I'm feeling with you, and hope that you get out of this deep valley soon. Weeding - or any kind of gardening - is a good therapy. Hugs.

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  60. J Cosmo Newbery15 February 2015 at 09:43

    Bad day for the worms.

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  61. daisyfae15 February 2015 at 09:49

    Sending love and light! And hoping that the worms are big, fat, juicy and taste just like chocolate!

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  62. Paper Chipmunk (aka Ellen)15 February 2015 at 19:16

    Agh, shit. I'm so sorry to hear it. I hope the worms were tasty?

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  63. Jennifer Richardson16 February 2015 at 11:58

    well your sense of humor is just waaaaaay beyond adequate:):):)
    seriously, glad you're taking some time to nurse your confidence back to health (and taking in extra protein:))
    but please hear this: you belong exactly where and how you are
    and are met with warm delight from the rest of us:)
    love and accepted and enjoyed, you:)
    -Jennifer

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  64. Karen16 February 2015 at 17:18

    I usually crawl into my sock drawer when I feel like this. Hope all is better soon.

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  65. Optimistic Existentialist17 February 2015 at 00:00

    Please come back soon...we will miss you!

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  66. Riot Kitty17 February 2015 at 05:03

    I'm so sorry, I just saw this. Hugs! I will email you.

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  67. Carol Kilgore17 February 2015 at 11:22

    Thinking of you and sending positive vibes. You're quite valuable to me, and I wish you wellness and quick healing. ♥♥♥Hugs♥♥♥

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  68. Jackie K17 February 2015 at 23:55

    Happens to us all EC. You need to take care of yourself, do what you need to do, and know that you are not at all inadequate. Hope to see you back soon but don't worry, we will wait.

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  69. John Wiswell18 February 2015 at 05:19

    You are well worth waiting for, EC. You have my e-mail address if you ever want to discuss anything privately, or simply want to vent. But I am deeply sorry you have to suffer so.

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  70. Mark Koopmans18 February 2015 at 07:39

    Aloha EC :)

    You've been such a supporter of my blog and I just wanted to wish you well with everything you do :)

    Don't eat too many worms... the early bird may take a fancy to you :)

    ((EC))

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  71. Unknown19 February 2015 at 02:57

    I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I hope that things are better by now, that being in the garden and weeding or eating worms, that something has brought you some balance.

    Yes, you are valued here. You bring such gorgeous wisdom and a breath of fresh air to the blog world. We may never physically meet, but you've had a profound impact on me. Thank you for you.

    Much love always.

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  72. Susan Kane19 February 2015 at 04:24

    I have been told worms are great stir-fried. Let me know.

    Crabby, ill, and funny: I love the different sides of you.

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  73. Vagabonde19 February 2015 at 14:46

    I hope this will pass. I always enjoy your blog, your words, pictures and your philosophy of life. But I understand – sometimes I read blogs that are very witty, so well written and I feel I should just stop my blog with all my boring long posts. Everyone brings different things to blogging and what you bring is always nice. You have many readers who will wait for you, me included.

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  74. neena maiya (guyana gyal)20 February 2015 at 01:57

    Because you like birds, I'm sending this song for you:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aGlcUK_GkM

    It says, don't worry about a thing, cos every little thing is gonna be all right...

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  75. Snowbrush20 February 2015 at 05:59

    Just to say hi and that I think about you and wish you well.

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  76. mail4rosey20 February 2015 at 09:43

    Well, you're missed. Looking forward to your return.

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  77. Chally20 February 2015 at 09:46

    Wishing you all the best.

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  78. Kim20 February 2015 at 10:09

    EC you are valued by so many in so many ways. I hope the voice in your head that ever dares to suggest otherwise goes on a long holiday and leaves you in peace to be the beautiful person that you are. While you're taking some time out I hope you are seeing lots of lovely sights and hearing lots of heartwarming birdsong (including the Darkling Thrush). Take care x

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  79. Elephant's Child21 February 2015 at 09:32

    Thank you all so very much. Your comments and messages of concern have meant a LOT to me. There is light at the end of the tunnel (finally). However, I have acquired a nasty virus AND an ear infection, so will be hunkered down for another week or so.

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    Replies
    1. Alexia21 February 2015 at 13:55

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Alexia21 February 2015 at 13:58

      Yay!
      Be well. Enjoy your garden and let the worms do their thing :)

      Delete
    3. Alexia21 February 2015 at 14:01

      Oh dear I can't manage to get this message right. I meant Yay! for the light at the end of the tunnel, not for the nasty virus/ear combo.

      Delete
    4. Gabriella28 February 2015 at 04:50

      Oh my, dear EC, sorry to be able to provide company in the misery that has been February. Recently deactivated my Facebook profile in a fit of gloomy defiance because I couldn't stand reading my own grim pronouncements that surely things would get better soon? I made myself promise I would not post until I had huge unmistakable good news. Still hoping and waiting. But it IS good news that your particular tunnel has an end in sight. May I join you in the light soon! Hugs and love!

      Delete
  80. Lee21 February 2015 at 23:41

    Thinking of you, EC...take good care. We'll all be here waiting for your return with warm muffins and hot coffee. :)

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  81. Ron Dudley22 February 2015 at 04:10

    I can think of lots of things about you that I both like and value, EC.

    Try harder!

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  82. Anonymous22 February 2015 at 09:15

    Just swinging by to say 'hello'. Hope life is improving. I know it can be a strain sometimes. To say the least.

    In my thoughts, EC. *hugs*

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  83. Birdie23 February 2015 at 10:22

    Just stopping bu because I was thinking about you.

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  84. kylie24 February 2015 at 21:33

    i just wanted to say hello. rest up, those viruses take a lot out of a person <3

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  85. klahanie25 February 2015 at 13:02

    Dear Sue,

    I'm going to share that most powerful gifts. The gift of empathy. I'm rather there myself but with a different species of worm.

    Sending you warm thoughts from my new computer. Stay special, dear lady.

    Hugs, your friend,

    Gary (( ))

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  86. Lee27 February 2015 at 09:50

    EC...I ate all the muffins and drank all the coffee...but the good news is, I've made another batch of muffins, as well as some scones...and I've fired up my coffee machine. I'm ready when you are! Take your time. Even if I eat this lot...I can make some more! :)

    Take good care. Hugs. :)

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  87. Andrew27 February 2015 at 11:54

    I know we have very different challenges, and yours are bigger than mine, but I do find forcing myself to stop... dismiss the past... appraise the moment... just the moment now, then slowly ,slowly move on into a restart helps.

    Eating worms is never the answer (unless you are a bird - although I confess I have never tried it so maybe it is).

    Best wishes.

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  88. mail4rosey28 February 2015 at 06:57

    Just checking in looking for ya, waving hello too, while I'm here. :)

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  89. Susan 5 March 2015 at 04:14

    I left the blogosphere about the same time you did - for reasons related to travels and poor Internet connections - so I missed seeing this post. I have read ahead, and I am glad to see that you are back! I hope March is starting off with better health for you!

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