Monday, 10 September 2018

Out of the Shadows, Into the Light 2018

Today, September 10th, is World Sucide Prevention Day, and the start of World Suicide Prevention Week.  I spend time in the dark places myself and know both how fast and easy the plummet to the bottom can be and how very hard it is to see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel much less climb out again. 

Most of you know I do voluntary work with Lifeline Australia, a telephone crisis line.  Almost everyone who rings those lines with thoughts of suicide has at least a degree of ambivalence.  I, and all the other volunteers, will work on that ambivalence to keep the caller safe for the moment/the day and to help them see and consider other options.   Lifeline believes that suicide is often preventable and that the start of the journey to safety can be only a phone call away.  It is often a long and painful journey but should never ever be one that people feel condemned to walk alone.

Here in Australia suicide is still the leading cause of death for people aged under 44.  More people die from suicide each year than are killed on the roads.  Sadly the numbers of people we lose to suicide are rising again.  Which, given that I suspect suicide is under reported, is scary.

Not only does suicide take its toll on our young, there are other groups who are over-represented in its tragic ranks including (but not limited to) our indigenous population, the LGBTQI community, people with mental health issues, farmers, tradesmen, and the military.  We lose more of our veterans (and those still serving) to suicide than we do in combat. 

In 2011 Lifeline began  national suicide prevention walks - 'Out of the Shadows and into the Light'. The walks begin before dawn and continue into the growing light.  It remembers those lost and those bereaved by suicide, with an additional focus on raising awareness.  The symbolism of starting the walk in the dark and progressing into the light of a new day means a lot to me.  Some centres start their walk later (ten or eleven) to attract more people and publicity.  I can see why, but am glad that our walks start in the dark.

I don't think that all suicide is wrong, particularly given our euthanasia laws.  However, it is such a final decision that I hope it is not the first option considered or tried.  And, as a solution to a temporary problem, I do think it is wrong.  Right or wrong it is always a tragedy.  A tragedy for the person who had, or believed they had, no other options and a tragedy for those they leave behind.  And the ripples from that tragedy encompass a lot of people.  Research shows that each time someone suicides, there are up to 135 people affected.  In addition there is strong evidence that if someone close to you dies by suicide your own chances of taking that path are dramatically increased.  

I couldn't attend the first walk, but have gone on all the subsequent walks. Which saw me heading off again before dawn this morning.  The dread disease slows me down, ensures my gait is uneven and is painful.  The issue is much more important than I am.    So I walked.  Slowly just as I did last year and the year before.  Stopping to take photos.

There were brief speeches.  Some of the names and ages of those lost were read out - which I find moving.  No longer nameless, but identified and missed...  This morning the ages ranged from 16 to 84.  There was also an acknowledgement that there are names we do not know, which doesn't diminish their loss.

Come walk with me, through the cool dawn, into the hopeful light of a new day.




The empty chairs from other years have been replaced with candles to symbolise the light(s) lost.  Some people carried a candle with them as they walked.












A very noisy flock of cockatoos came with us.













RU OK day (September 14) is also celebrated in World Suicide Prevention Week.  A question we should be asking family, friends and colleagues every day.




Some services and links which may be useful for Australian readers include:
Lifeline 1311 14
Suicide Call Back Service

131 comments:

  1. You are a blessing for volunteering. I'm lucky in not having depression, but I have felt the blackness. There is always a better day ahead. But it is hard to know that when life gets difficult. Good post.

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    1. Ann Bennett: The black dog/concrete cloud/depression is a practised and skilled liar. It often convinces people that there are no better times ahead. And thank you.

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  2. There's a walk scheduled for the 22nd here in town. I have never participated, but am not immune from the effects of suicide.

    Thank you for this post. xx

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    1. Bea: I hope the walk in your town gets heaps of participants (and publicity).

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  3. Hi EC - it's invaluable work you and all lifeliners do ... I've worked with some and have experienced suicide ... as Bea mentions - it's always there or thereabouts with someone. Take care and thanks for posting this very moving Out of the Shadows day ... Hilary

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    1. Hilary Melton-Butcher: The world over, the pain is too common. It crosses boundaries of race and religion effortlessly doesn't it?

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  4. once again you stay true to yourself and your personal struggles by helping other, I commend you; bring light to this subject has often given me hope and I thank you for that.

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    1. Linda Starr: I hope you can hang on to that light.

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  5. What a wonderful service you and other volunteers provide. Too often it is not talked about or talked about in whispered voices. I love that you are out loud and proud of you message of providing a different solution.

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    1. Anne in the kitchen: Thank you. As we walked today I talked with someone (previously a stranger) who has lost two people she cares about to suicide. The first was over twenty years ago and her pain is still raw. She told me at the time it was 'covered up'. I firmly believe things hidden in the dark fester and grow.

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  6. Congratulations for all that you. I think it is particularly significant that you are so engaged in this work when you have MS yourself, certainly a reason for some to contemplate suicide I would imagine. I have never had the kind of dark moments that might engender such thoughts but this raggedy ass life we all share is precious and if you can hang on to it for a while longer it is well worth while.

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    1. David Gascoigne: I get more from my volunteering than I am able to give. I hope that you and yours stay safe from those dark moments - and love your description of 'this raggedy ass life'.

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  7. David(above) is right in that even what seems a sorry life, it is life and that harsh solution is not always the only one.
    I have had friends go down that dark trail. I know the hurt.
    Thank you, EC.

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    1. dinahmow: Life is a gift. Sadly as I said in an earler response, depression is a skilled and practised liar. I am so very sorry that you too are familiar with the pain.

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  8. Thank you. The dark can take over so fast, i remember. My prayer is that the work you and the other volunteers do makes a big difference and the suicide rates start dropping and keep doing so.

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    1. messymimi: I believe that we, and similar organisations world-wide, do make a difference. And hope that support grows.

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  9. Wow, I did not know about this. I'm hoping the Behavioral Health Department does. I'll have to ask tomorrow. It's very good to know and be aware of these things.

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    1. Jamie Ghione: I hope you find out that the Behavioral Health Department does know about it, and that they have something in place to mark the week.

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  10. Talking about suicide is so important, taking the issue into the light. Talking about it doesn’t put the idea into someone’s head! I have noticed here that some families will say a death was a suicide. It is a beginning!

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    1. Marie Smith: It is indeed a beginning. A wonderful beginning.

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  11. I am so glad you do this work, and that this walk is done to commemorate the loss that suicide brings to so many families. Thank you for doing this, and thank you for being one of the people who answers the phone when it rings.

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    1. DJan: Thank you. I am one of many, and our numbers are growing. Which is lovely, although the need is sad.

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  12. Bless you and all your co-helpers who work the phone lines to help desperate folks. And who write about it to help still others. Not everyone can do this difficult job and I am thankful for those who can.

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    1. jenny_o: We receive excellent training, and support - which helps a great deal.

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  13. It is moving enough to just see the photos. I like the symbolism of the candelabra. I hope, although you may feel a little weary, that you also feel some contentment after yours and the efforts of others.

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    1. Andrew: I am knackered, but very pleased I made the effort. And it was a very moving morning (physically and emotionally).

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  14. A moving and necessary post. Thank you.

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  15. Thank you for caring, for taking the time to show you care, and for participating in the essential service which Lifeline provides.

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    1. Alexia: Growing up my family condemned my butter soft heart. I am so grateful to have found a use for it.

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    1. Bill: Thank you. I am one of a LOT of volunteers. Worldwide.

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  17. Aww...you are so sweet. I love all your photos and love the idea of the services your provide. Thanking you from my heart.

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  18. Dear EC
    You and other volunteers are so vital to help people in need. You all do an amazing job.
    The thing that comes into my head is a quote from a series which Grayson Perry presented (I think it was on 'what is a man') and he interviewed a mother whose son had committed suicide. She said 'He wanted to die today, he didn't want to die forever', which echoes your comments - if the person can be dissuaded, then things might improve for them. I know this is not always the case, but if one person thinks twice, it is a good thing.
    I hope that there will always be people like you and the other volunteers to help.
    Best wishes
    Ellie

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    1. Ellie Foster: Thank you. I love that quote. I suspect it is often completely true. I will remember it and hope to use it when the time is right.

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  19. You and others like you are a blessing. That dark hole has a bright light at the end thanks to your efforts. A moving post.

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    1. Mason Canyon: I do hope that volunteers the world over can shine a bright light into the shadows.

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  20. I like the symbolism of walking from the dark to the light and publicity aside, I don't see how it can feel the same starting a walk later in the day. I'm glad there are people like you who give their time to Lifeline, there are so many in need. And so many who don't realise they are in need of help.

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    1. River: I am with you. Getting up in the dark is a very small sacrifice to make for this important cause, and the symbolism means a lot to me.

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  21. "He wanted to die today. He didn't want to die forever" had me confused for a minute, but I get it now.
    Reminds me of a quote I read in my newspaper recently: "don't do something permanently stupid because you are temporarily upset."

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    1. River: I have seen some suicides described as a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but hadn't seen that quote before. It hit home.

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  22. You deserve mad props for bringing up this subject, which people don't want to talk about, and sadly in some instances it can be prevented as long as there are people like you and others who want to listen. You've read my blog, and know what happened when I was just a kid, so I raise my glass to you for shining the light, and despite your own personal pain, getting out to walk, and to share. I just wish there were more like you EC, and I thank you so much! Hugs...RO

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    1. RO; I do know about your tragedy, and hope (so much) that the work that suicide prevention centres/teams worldwide can reduce the risk of others experiencing the pain you felt (and feel).

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  23. This is important work. I have a cousin that lost a son to suicide and he raises money each year for awareness and to support efforts like the one you work with.
    Jilda and I always contribute.

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    1. Rick Watson: Thank you. It is important and sadly necessary work. I am sorry that your extended family is familiar with the pain.

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  24. What wonderful work you do. I remember back in the time of the Viet Nam war, my friend's brother came home and killed himself. That was my first and only experience with it. So sad that so many die young.

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    1. mxtodis123: It is a tragedy. Sadly the Vietnam veterans are still taking their own lives.

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  25. A wonderful thing to do. Remembering those for whom help came to late or who didn’t feel they could accept it and perhaps for those who think of suicide but have never quite succumbed to the darkness and, hopefully, never will.

    I am one of those, for years I carried the means around with me, but never quite lost myself completely, I am so glad I didn’t, I wouldn’t have had the wonderful years that followed on.

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    1. Friko: I am glad that you found your way back to happy years. And grieve for those who couldn't.

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  26. Bless you, Susan. Suicide among our young people has become an epidemic in these times. There were three in my grandchildren’s school last year and one of them was a good friend. They told me he did it because his 16 year old girlfriend broke up with him. I am sure there were other things but young people do not have the maturity to look beyond the moment. It was terribly sad and the effect upon others is long lasting.

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    1. Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe: The impact on others is huge. And too often life long.

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  27. That's wonderful you are involved in trying to help those experiencing dark times. I've been there too. We have high suicide rates in Oregon. The Albany police were bemoaning three last week alone. It's hard on responders too. A friend of mine, who is now homeless, has a daughter starting college and she said her best friend just blew his brains out and she was devastated. She didn't see him do it, but walked in on the aftermath, including seeing his brain matter all over the wall. I remember when I moved into a low income hotel, there was a couch out back waiting for disposal, that had brain matter from a man who ad killed himself. I remember thinking, man alive, that is harsh for those who have to see it afterwards. Our military members are committing suicide at an unbelievable rate. Anyhow, I think highly of you. That's not an easy job.

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    1. Strayer: It seems to be a world wide scourge at the moment. No country exampt. No gender exempt. No religion or age group exempt... Only last week I saw an article in a local paper about the need for 'trauma cleaners'. Yet another group of people who are affected by our ever increasing suicide rates. Your own job isn't easy either - and sadly under appreciated.

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  28. No one can shine a light onn darkness better than one who has experienced it first hand. Bless you.

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  29. What a great cause Child. Of course, one would expect that from a great person. Loved the pics and knowing so many get involved.

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    1. donna baker: I was humbled by the other participants yesterday. Other volunteers from Lifeline and too many people who know the pain first hand.

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  30. I remember you taking this walk last year.
    I am in awe of your volunteer work, EC. You save lives. You have made the difference between life and death to many, many people. You're my hero.
    Hugs

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    1. Sandra Cox: I plan to continue doing this walk for as long as I can (or until it is no longer necessary - which I doubt will happen in my lifetime). I can hope though. I do hope.

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    2. That would be a wonderful thing, wouldn't it?

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    3. Sandra Cox: Probably an impossible dream. But we all NEED to dream.

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  31. As one who has been swallowed up in blackness from time to time, I appreciate the work you do. And I enjoyed the virtual dawn in your photos.

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    1. Sue in Italia/In the Land of Cancer: I am glad you appreciated our dawn - and that you are here to experience your own.

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  32. Dear EC, thank you for posting this and for sharing with us your concern for those who have gone down into the abyss and not been able to raise their eyes to any light, however dim. Having been suicidal myself, I understand that we can come to a point where anything is better than the present. When life becomes so difficult that we have that willingness to leave it behind, then we so need the comfort of another's presence. Your voice over the phone is that comfort. Thank you for doing that. And thank you for caring about all creation. Peace.

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    1. Dee: As you know, the fall is easy, and the climb to the light again so very hard. I really, really hope that I have anchored some people to the light for long enough for them to seek and find more help.

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    2. Dear EC, I trust that though the Oneness that unites us all, you have done that anchoring. Peace.

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    3. Dee: I hope so. I hope that we all do.

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    4. Dee: Thank you. I hope that peace blesses your every day.

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  33. Bless you dear friend, and those with you in this!

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    1. Cloudia: There are a lot of us, which I think is wonderful.

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  34. Thank you for sharing the message and compassion, EC. Too many people die for lack of opportunities and help.

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    1. John Wiswell: Way too many. I wish it was different.

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  35. Sharing in the same sentiment, rituals, and challenges. Our Walk is around the corner.
    Love and blessings, dear heart.

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    1. Rawknrobyn: I will cheer your walk on too. Hugs.

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    1. Bob Bushell: A sad walk, a contemplative walk, a hopeful walk.

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  37. Thanks for sharing.

    https://www.henatayeb.blogspot.com

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  38. This is wonderful and many blessings to you and all the others who help people walk out of the dark into the light.

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    1. Rasma Raisters: Thank you. I do hope those dark paths can become light filled highways to safety.

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  39. Hard to find the right words on how this makes me feel, except that I am applauding you and all those who get involved and do this. You are amazing people.

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    1. Denise inVA: The amazing people are often those who call. They face incredible horrors and still keep going. It is a privilege to be able to help.

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  40. Bless you EC and all the other people who help! I have tears in my eyes. My tears are for everyone, who has been lost and affected by this tragedy! It's so sad! Not too long ago, I was feeling this way. I understand when you say about plummeting to the bottom! Good for you going out and walking with all you have going on in your body! You are an inspiration my friend! Big Hugs!!

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    1. Magic Love Crow: That plummet to the bottom is so very fast isn't it? Huge congratulations for finding your way out, and through your art and your kindness lighting the way for other.

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    2. Sometimes you slip and go back! We have to keep smiling and going forth and talking! Big Hugs!

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    3. Magic Love Crow: I hear you about sometimes slipping back. Huge hugs.

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  41. Heartbreaking. So good of you to volunteer as you do.

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    1. Molly Bon: It is heartbreaking. And all too common.

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  42. The butter soft hearts are usually the strongest, I think!

    I take my hat off to you for the early start and the difficult walking. Thank you for making the effort

    xo

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    1. kylie: When I missed the first walk I made a promise to myself I would go to the others. So far, so good. I am tired and sore, but it is a good version of both.
      And thank you.

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  43. Thank you, for your efforts and caring. Your post is a life-affirming essay in compassion. And thank you for photos of your walk. I am strengthened by this, EC.

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    1. Geo. It is lovely to see you here. And thank you. Being remembered for compassion is a fine thing. I hope your health is continuing to improve.

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  44. I spent many years with the UK equivalent Samaritans organisation, and can never speak highly enough of the support that they offer, and the training and support given to volunteers.

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    1. Relatively Retiring: Two organisations cut from the same cloth. Which is lovely. And how sad it is that they are so desperately needed.

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  45. I like the idea of starting the walk in the dark and walking into the light of the new day. This is wonderful work you're doing. Sad reminder too of all the lives that gave up or felt unsupported and hopeless.

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    1. Kalpanaa M: It is a sad occasion, but also a hopeful one. Quiet contemplation and determination.

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  46. Inspirational! and moving. This is great work that you and the group is doing. Important reminders here for all of us. And I love the symbolism of the predawn to dawn walk.

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    1. Nilanjana Bose: That symbolism means a lot to me. I am so grateful that my centre continues to start before dawn.

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  47. you have done a great work with lovely ideas.
    may god bless you.

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  48. Oh how this beautiful and deeply moving post has moved me to tears!
    You are all so amazing. As a sufferer of depression myself, I fully understand the desperation that leads to suicidal tendencies.
    I am so in awe of you...you are doing such an important job in bringing awareness of all this often hidden suffering.
    I really love the symbolism, too, of begining the walk in the dark...and progressing into the light.
    May all the world's troubled Souls follow...😊😊

    My heartfelt thanks for this beautiful post!

    Big Hugs xoxoxo

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    1. Ygraine: This once a year initiative means a lot to me. I am sorry to hear that your pain has tempted you to the dark paths. I hope you can find ways to stay safe.
      Hugs.

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  49. That building is just beautiful in the dark.
    You have a productive day and pleasant evening.
    Hugs

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    1. Sandra Cox: That building is our Nation's War Memorial. It is impressive whatever the time of the day.
      Hugs received and reciprocated.

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  50. I'm really glad there are places like that and people like you. I've been in that dark place and it's nice to have someone to talk to when you feel like there's no hope left.

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    1. Mary Kirkland: I hope you always have someone to talk to. And hope.

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  51. Be nice and someones friend. It never takes much to extend a hand to a troubled soul.

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    1. Spacer Guy: Niceness (and friends) are always welcome.

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  52. I love the candle theme, shining light on loss.
    Hugs

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    1. Sandra Cox: Me too. It is also a comment on lives 'snuffed out'.

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  53. E C.No one should be left alone and friendless. You have my praise for the wonderful work that you do.

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    1. Vest: No one should ever be left alone and friendless. I am one of many, and glad to be part of the helping community.

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  54. A worthwhile reason to get up early!

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    1. Shammickite: In my case, to go out early. I am almost always up before dawn, but rarely out. And it was an excellent reason to go out.

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  55. What a blessing you are..thank you for sharing and bringing hope.

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  56. Such an important message - and vital work!

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    1. Lady Fi: How I wish it wasn't such necessary work.

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  57. As I mentioned before my brother tried to commit suicide years ago. Thank you for the support and love you give to people who can only see one way out, and you help them realise they have options.

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    1. LL Cool Joe: I remember you telling me about your brother, and am so glad he didn't succeed. And thank you.

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  58. Thank you for this post.
    Thank you, and all the volunteers, for the amazing work and help you give.
    Thank you for posting this very moving Out of the Shadows, Into the Light post.

    God bless

    All the best Jan

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    1. Lowcarb team member ~Jan: Thank you. I am so grateful for the community in which I volunteer.

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  59. I like this walk out of the shadows into the light. Just like in Australia we also have too many suicides in our country. Thank you that you walk against all odds, that you're lending a listening ear, that you're just there.

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    1. Carola Bartz: It is a wonderful initiative isn't it? It remembers the lost and brings the issue into focus. Thank you.

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  60. The Black Dog is indeed a tragic terror, so many of us could have been taken, I know a good few myself and its good to celebrate your survival, and keep the awareness as high as possible whilst missing the lost. Good job Sue, you are such a star. X

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    1. Starshine Twinkletoes: Too many of us know that beast. Hugs.

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  61. I came here from the link of your other post. I am so humbled by your service work. Thank you. I'm sure I've said this before, but it means a lot to me on a personal level to have people like you out there. You're a blessing to many.

    Elsie

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    1. Elsie Amata: Thank you for travelling back through my posts. This walk means an immense amount to me. My parents brought us up to believe that we had an obligation to contribute to the community we live in - and I get an immense amount from my voluntary work. More than I give.

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  62. Thanks for your comment on my blog yesterday. I deleted it, and also my own comment, just because I thought twice about discussing problems there. Photos only probably better.

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