Sunday Selections was originally brought to us by Kim, of Frogpondsrock, as an ongoing meme where participants could post previously unused photos languishing in their files.
The meme was then continued by River at Drifting through life. Sadly she has now stepped aside (though she will join us some weeks), and I have accepted the mantle.
The rules are so simple as to be almost non-existent. Post some photos under the title Sunday Selections and link back to me. Clicking on any of the photos will make them embiggen.
I usually run with a theme. As I mentioned last week we have had himself's sister with us. Despite the sad reason for the visit we found some beauty (much needed beauty). Her part of Australia really doesn't get autumn, so we chased around town looking for autumnal colour. Our very dry summer meant that the autumnal colour was muted and rarer than usual - but it was still there.
Starting at the Arboretum.
I adore Richard Moffat's Nest, and we visit it each time we go to the Arboretum.
The detail on the railing around the nearby lookout is special too.
After the Arboretum we headed down to the lake for some more colour (and a kangaroo fix).
That is one very muscular roo.
And that is one very tired (and cute) joey.
There is colour at home too. Despite a couple of light frosts the tree dahlias are hanging in. The tuberous begonias are on their last legs, but still lovely.
The trip to the funeral and back again was, as expected, draining. Perhaps appropriately there was heavy fog for well over the first two hours of the drive in the morning.
The celebrant said something which I have been thinking about. He said that grief is an expression of love we can no longer demonstrate. What do you think? I see his point, but have reservations.
The meme was then continued by River at Drifting through life. Sadly she has now stepped aside (though she will join us some weeks), and I have accepted the mantle.
The rules are so simple as to be almost non-existent. Post some photos under the title Sunday Selections and link back to me. Clicking on any of the photos will make them embiggen.
I usually run with a theme. As I mentioned last week we have had himself's sister with us. Despite the sad reason for the visit we found some beauty (much needed beauty). Her part of Australia really doesn't get autumn, so we chased around town looking for autumnal colour. Our very dry summer meant that the autumnal colour was muted and rarer than usual - but it was still there.
Starting at the Arboretum.
Even the bonsai were wearing autumnal robes
I adore Richard Moffat's Nest, and we visit it each time we go to the Arboretum.
After the Arboretum we headed down to the lake for some more colour (and a kangaroo fix).
And that is one very tired (and cute) joey.
There is colour at home too. Despite a couple of light frosts the tree dahlias are hanging in. The tuberous begonias are on their last legs, but still lovely.
The trip to the funeral and back again was, as expected, draining. Perhaps appropriately there was heavy fog for well over the first two hours of the drive in the morning.
The celebrant said something which I have been thinking about. He said that grief is an expression of love we can no longer demonstrate. What do you think? I see his point, but have reservations.
Lovely fall colors. The joey does look tuckered out. The tree dahlias are magical still.
ReplyDeleteI do see his point. But, perhaps for me grief has been mourning the loss of immediate connection.
Bea: I think grief is a multi-facetted beast and his definition is part of the whole.
DeleteThe joey was soaking up the sun, and made us all smile.
wow great photos
ReplyDeleteGosia: Thank you.
DeleteHe may be right, that not being able to express love to that person directly any more is a part of grief, but i don't think it's the only part. In fact, i'm not sure we can ever fully define or explain it.
ReplyDeleteThat joey is precious, i have enjoyed holding a joey in my lap at the zoo here.
You have autumn colors, which you have captured beautifully, while we are coming hard on summer.
messymimi: I agree with you that the celebrant's definition was part of grief, but not its entireity. Looking forward to your Sunday Selections.
DeleteYou definitely found some fall colors.
ReplyDeleteI think what he said about grief is part of it. We also grieve a little out of selfishness - we don't get that person in our lives anymore and we are upset.
Alex J. Cavanaugh: I am glad that most people seem to feel his definition is part of a much more complex whole. I hadn't ever thought about the selfishness of grief before your comment though.
DeleteI have to admit I really don't agree with the celebrant's words. The recipient of our love may no longer be physically with us, but the love we feel can still be demonstrated. ...that's just how I feel, anyway.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful blooms, EC. I hope the coming week brings you joy and laughter and warmth to your heart. Cuddles to Jazz. :)
Lee: Demonstrated how? I am not arguing, I am just curious about how love is shown in someone/something's absence?
DeleteBy our memories of them...of thinking about them frequently. Remembering the good and bad times; the sad and happy times. Recalling shared moments in our lives. Going through cherished mementos we have that were once theirs...or we shared with them.
DeleteHey! It may sound crazy to some...but I don't care...I at times talk to my late grandmother, mother and brother. I say "G'day" to them and share a snippet or two about my life etc., every time I drive by where my brother's ashes were scattered. I'm not a religious person, as such, but yes...I do that. When I drove past the area on Mother's Day I shouted out Happy Mother's Day...see...I said it probably sounds crazy...but as I also said...I don't care. :)
That is how I believe our love is demonstrated...our love still felt for those loved ones who are no longer physically with us.
Grief...in my opinion...there is no limit on grief....grief never disappears...it just changes in aspect as time passes by...
That's how I look at it all, anyway. :)
Lee: Thank you for responding. No, not crazy, doing what works for you. I also agree that grief never leaves.
DeleteThat is not how I would describe the losses I have grieved; I feel it is more like a hole in my life, a space that only that particular soul filled. It takes awhile to heal around the edges but the hole is always there, perhaps just not as raw after awhile. I daresay it feels differently to everyone and may depend on our relationship with the lost one while they were alive ...
ReplyDeleteYou found much beauty, yes, and some of it your own making in your garden. Your autumn has certainly arrived at last. And it is always a pleasure to see Nest.
I hope you have a restful week and can catch up on some time for you, EC. Hugs.
jenny_o: I think that grief changes us. It isn't that we return to the person we were but that we find a way to live with the new normal. Mostly. And yes, those sharp edges are worn away, but they can still bite.
DeleteAnd thank you.
Grief is a sentiment that means different things to different people. I suspect that it does not reflect love that it is no longer possible to express to the deceased person. Probably it reminds one that expressions of love were inadequately articulated in life. Grief is also manifested to excess at a funeral, but it quickly retreats as the days and weeks go by. The older I get I simply accept the fact that people live and people die. I remember people for their life and celebrate that. Dwelling on grief to excess can be destructive.
ReplyDeleteDavid M. Gascoigne: Dwelling on anything can be destructive. Celebrating people for their life/achievements is a wonderful thing, even when it is tinged with regret that we can no longer see them.
DeleteHugs to you on the emotionally exhausting journey. I’m glad you found some beauty to feast your eyes on. That muscular roo looks ready to box someone into a stupor!
ReplyDeleteRiver Fairchild: Thank you. I am a beauty addict, and fortunately there is a lot of it about. I agree with you about that roo. We gave him a LOT of space.
DeleteYou did find some beautiful colour, both in your garden and outside it. I too love the nest - it's a brilliant work. We had a long period of a great deal of rain in December and early January... I don't know if that's why we have had one of the most spectacular displays of autumn colour I can remember - just glorious!
ReplyDeleteThere are lots of wise comments above about grief. I feel that it is something which is different for everybody, and cannot really be expressed in a general statement. Each experience of grief is unique.
Alexia: I think rain (at the right time) does a lot for autumnal fireworks. A lot of our trees simply went brown and dropped their leaves. You are so right about the individuality of grief.
DeleteGorgeous pictures my friend! I love that nest and the railing! Your flowers are so pretty! Love seeing the baby!! I'm sorry about the emotional journey you had! Interesting comment about grief. I think you can still show love towards the person, but it's the not seeing them, that is the grief. Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteMagic Love Crow: Thank you. At the funeral itself a lot of people murmurred in agreement at his statement but I had reservations. I am glad I wasn't alone.
DeleteNot seeing them is a big part, but also not being able to touch or hold and from the other side, no longer being able to be seen, touched, or held by the now gone loved one.
DeleteRiver: Not seeing them, not hearing them, not holding them... Not being able to share things with them...
DeleteGreat pictures!
ReplyDeleteJamie Ghione: Thank you.
DeleteThe trees in the first photo are stunning. Great photo. I suppose you have showed us Nest before, but I can't remember it. I like it. Autumn colours may be muted, but I would never know by your photos.
ReplyDeleteIt is a comforting way of explaining grief by the celebrant, but rather overcomplicating something quite simple.
Andrew: Thank you. I am glad that you aren't tired of Nest, because I do put up photographs of it each time we go to the arboretum.
DeleteBeautiful photos as always, EC, I've been neglecting my camera and my photos so these help to inspire me. Newfoundland is so breathtakingly beautiful, at the moment it is iceberg season so I should really toddle off and capture it.
ReplyDeleteOh those shoulds get me...... :D
I love that nest.
XO
WWW
Wisewebwoman: Should is a word I often beat myself with. Nest is great isn't it? It is made up of rusted farm machinery and bits and pieces and I love it.
DeleteFall color is one of my favorites, but those flowers are lovely.
ReplyDeleteI don't know true grief, but I think it varies on each person and the loss they experience. There is no correct expression.
It's.a.crazy.world: Welcome and thank you. I like all of the seasons (except summer). Grief is indeed a very individual experience.
DeleteYour autumn is lovely. I like the definition of grief, especially in considering it as another thought in the vast river of knowledge of grief.
ReplyDeleteJoanne Noragon: Thank you. I am a big fan of autumn too. As a partial explanation the celebrant's words made a lot of sense to me, but they are only a part of the complicated picture. I like your image of the river of knowledge of grief as well. Thank you.
DeleteYou have some beautiful photos of autumn. So sorry for your loss and the draining journey. I think for me grief is so hard to explain because everyone experiences it differently. I agree, it's always with you (even as the edges of the hole soften) and it changes you from who you were. Grief is a mixture of knowing what you've lost and uncertain of what lies ahead without that person in your life.
ReplyDeleteMason Canyon: Like you, I don't see grief as something to 'get over'. Thank you for your kind words about my photos.
DeleteI love your beautiful pictures of flowers, those begonias are so pretty! And those roos are fun. I am an old hand at grief and agree that it's not something to get over. Life goes on and we adapt and change to meet our altered circumstance. That's my take on it, anyway.
ReplyDeleteDJan: Your take and mine on grief are very similiar.
DeleteIsn't grief a natural response to loss?
ReplyDeleteLovely colours!!! The trees... the flowers... There is beauty in all seasons.
It is spring time for us. A very timid spring so far...
Caterina: Grief is indeed natural. I agree with you about beauty in every season too. I hope your spring gains more confidence. Soon.
DeleteI love the "Nest"... and I would like to have a kangaroo. The only decent funeral I can recall was my mothers--- about 20 close family members sharing memories.
ReplyDeleteBill: Nest is wonderful isn't it? I am happy that we have roos close to home. Very happy. I hear you on the subject of funerals. I have been to some shockers. This most recent one wasn't bad.
DeleteDear EC
ReplyDeleteLovely autumn colours. I do like seeing all the art work you find. I wish we had more public art here to enjoy.
To me, Grief is a hugely complex emotion which comes in waves which can be gentle or enormous. It is also very different for each individual and although we can sympathise, we really can't know how someone else is feeling.
Your begonia are so colourful.
Best wishes
Ellie
Ellie Foster: I do love public art and am grateful that we have a lot of it. Nest is one of my favourite pieces.
DeleteGrief is indeed complex, changeable and very individual.
Aren't the begonias lovely? We have had a couple of light frost and they are fading, but I have loved them.
Have a great week.
Yes I agree grief is a very individual thing and it is how it is handled and accepted that makes all the difference to how that person lives now. Certainly the issue brought up interesting comments. A wonderful post of colour and I hope you have a more relaxing this week.
ReplyDeleteMargaret Birding For Pleasure: Thank you. A busy week ahead, but hopefully there will be time for relaxing.
DeleteI've never thought of grief that way.
ReplyDeleteI think your garden is every bit as colourful as the Arboretum, the begonias in particular are spectacular. I love the autumn bonsai very much.
River: Thank you so much. I hadn't thought of grief that way until the celebrant said it. I do agree with him, but it isn't the full picture for me.
DeleteHi EC - I love the photos you've included ... just glad the boxing roo left you alone, while you could admire the little joey ... they are amazing creatures. Richard Moffat is an amazing sculptor - love seeing his nest - beautiful and yes I'd always visit that part of the Arboretum. Isn't the railing lovely. Autumnal colours, Dahlias and Begonias ... beautiful.
ReplyDeleteGrief from our loss is different from our own grief for something ... I'm emailing you a couple of links I found - interesting (I thought). Grief can be sudden because of the circumstances, yet grief can be over time - eg we grieve as an elderly parent dies - I know I did for my mother, then at the time it became acceptance. Perhaps we should all grieve for ourselves more ... but I don't think he had it quite right ... we shouldn't be grieving for something we should perhaps have done more of in life. Lots of shoulds ...
Interesting thoughts you've raised - thank you ... Hilary
Hilary Melton-Butcher: Thank you for this comment and your email. Loved those links. As I read through people's comments my attitude that the celebrants statement was fine as far as it went, but that it didn't go far enough is reinforced. And yes, I use shoulds to whip myself with far too often.
DeleteHugs.
So beautiful!
ReplyDeleteSandi: Thank you. It is a beautiful world.
DeleteGrief to me is evidence of love. I accept it and adapt to it with time.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kangaroo fix!
Sounds so cold. Most of my grief now is older. When grief is new, it’s harder.
DeleteMarie Smith: Some days a kangaroo fix is an essential.
DeleteAnd no, I didn't think you were cold. It does, mostly, get easier to live with in time.
Beautiful! We keep getting random frosts so it isn't summer yet.
ReplyDeleteJono: We had a couple of very light frosts, but no more are predicted for the next week or so.
DeleteLove the pictures. They are all so stunning. For me, grief is much different than that quote and much more painful.
ReplyDeleteNatalie Aguirre: Thank you. Grief is a very individual thing isn't it?
DeleteYour autumn is arriving while I'm still waiting for the tree outside my window to leaf.
ReplyDeleteLove the little tired joey :)
mshatch: Our autumn was slow to arrive this year, and we are still mostly frost free. I hope your spring gets a move on.
DeleteIsn't that joey a charmer? It was nestled beside what I assume was its mother.
you find beauty everywhere you go EC, thank you for sharing it
ReplyDeleteKim: Thank you. I am a beauty addict.
DeleteI'd never seen an autumnal bonsai before! That's so neat.
ReplyDeleteBut the trip being draining makes sense. Strength to you, EC.
John Wiswell: I have seen bonsai in bloom before but don't remember seeing the autumn arboreal blaze. And thank you.
DeleteGreat photos. I love how your everyday surroundings seem so exotic to me. I also do not find that expalnation adequate. It is a part of the grief, but there's so many more feelings and moods involved. But then again maybe he ticks that way. Grief migth be different for different people for all I know.
ReplyDeleteUglemor: I am so glad to learn that others found the explanation lacking. It wasn't wrong precisely (or I didn't think so) but certainly incomplete.
DeleteAll wonderful photos, as usual. I have but one, but it's a nifty one, particularly the remarkable snout!
ReplyDeletehttps://animalanarchy.blogspot.com/2019/05/shadow-shot-sunday-silent-sunday-sunday.html
My thoughts on grief are much less, shall we say, evolved. Grief is something which pisses me off and when I get to the other side, some power that be is going to have some serious 'splaining to do. I probably won't listen to their 'splaining, I'll just kick their ass. That is what I think of grief.
The Real Cie: I loved that snout. Quite amazing. There are a lot of things which piss me off. Grief I can live with. Do live with. However if I knew where my guilt button was I would disconnect it. Permanently.
DeleteWe grieve because we don't have that person in our lives anymore. We grieve because we know that person won't be able to experience the things we hoped they would. I loved the pictures.
ReplyDeleteMary Kirkland: Thank you.
DeleteAutumn colors and kangaroos sound like a wonderful combination to me. Especially since I lack the kangaroos here.
ReplyDeleteI saw the tree dahlia in one of your last posts - what a spectacular flower! I'm not very lucky with dahlias, but this one would motivate me to try again.
Carola Bartz: The tree dahlias are an easy plant, and I believe can develop triffid tendencies and try and take over the garden. Our frosts nip that tendency in the bud.
DeleteI really, really liked the animals you show in your post today. All of them.
I love all the colors here. We each have the opportunity to demonstrate love every day. We grieve the loss of people because we love them or sometimes because the opportunity they have to love us demonstrably is gone as is the chance for change.
ReplyDeletee: Lovely to see you. I do hope you are feeling better, and the world is treating you with more kindness. I agree about the loss of any chance for change being yet another thing to mourn.
DeleteYour falls are always delightful.
ReplyDeleteHe got it wrong. Grief and grieving is the way we heal in our loss. Saying we are selfish in grieving is offensive to me. To make one feel guilty about grieving is strange.
Susan Kane: I didn't see it as him trying to make anyone feel guilty, but as a comment that we mourn because we can no longer demonstrate our love to the people/causes that matter.
DeleteBeautiful blooms .sending some love to you
ReplyDeleteShilpa: Welcome and thank you.
DeleteBeautiful bonsai and flowers, all your photos are lovely.
ReplyDeleteGrief is an expressions of love - sometimes in my opinion.
Margaret-whiteangel: Thank you. Grief is a lot of things and I believe it touches us all, but differently.
DeleteThat is an interesting thought... grief being an expression of love we can no longer say... mixed feelings on that one, too.
ReplyDeleteWhat I have been doing for a long time is to make sure I physically tell my loved ones that I love them... because you never know...
Mark Koopmans: You do indeed never know, and I also try and tell the people I care about how much they matter.
DeleteBeautiful photos!! Autumn in our area of the world is gorgeous as well.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and sympathy
Jemi Fraser: Thank you on both counts.
DeleteA great place to spend a gorgeous afternoon
ReplyDeleteAuthor R. Mac Wheeler: I suspect you would like both the arboretum and the lake. And like them lots.
DeleteBeautiful trees, excellent EC.
ReplyDeleteBob Bushell: Thank you.
DeleteThat is an interesting question. Having just lost three people in my life, and feeling pain and sadness at ‘my’ loss of the love that they gave to me, I know the grief I feel will lighten over time, but the love I have for them will always be there.
ReplyDeleteLove the Roos.
Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe: I am so sorry for your recent losses. Time blunts the edge of grief I have found, but it never goes away. And sometimes bites hard.
DeleteLovely shots of the trees and roos! I see the celebrant's point - it's another way of talking about loss.
ReplyDeleteLady Fi: Thank you. There are so many ways to talk about/think about loss aren't there?
DeleteAt first I mistook the bonsai for an acer palmatium disectum silly me but closer inspection revealed otherwise. my condolences on the your loss.
ReplyDeleteSpacer Guy: Not silly at all. Most of the bonsais, and particularly those with colour, did indeed come from the acer family.
DeleteYour photos are stunning, and I admit to being shocked... in a good way... that bonsai trees show autumnal signs, too. Why it surprised me, I don't know. Makes sense, but wow! All that beauty concentrated in such a small package!
ReplyDeleteWhat you call tree dahlias look a lot like what we call camelias. Gorgeous!
What the celebrant said about grief being an expression of love we can no longer express is thought-provoking, but I don't know if it even begins to describe the gut-wrenching feeling of emptiness and loss that makes your chest feel like it's been excavated. His description seems so bland in comparison to the reality. And I am so sorry very for your loss.
Susan: I was a tad surprised about the bonsai too (which is silly because I have seen them in flower before).
DeleteThe tree dahlias were featured in the last Sunday Selections. They are still hanging in, and very welcome.
I think the celebrant's comment was true, but only a small part of the story.
The first photo is so beautiful with the trees reflected in the lake. Those muscular kangaroos make me think of body builders, unnaturally pumped, for some reason.
ReplyDeleteStrayer: I have many photos taken from the same spot of trees reflected in the lake. Whatever the season (or time of the day) it is glorious.
DeleteYou are right that the male roo looked like a steroid laden body builder.
Welcome home.
ReplyDeleteYour pictures are outstanding. Your garden, beautiful.
The comment on grief is interesting. I feel the grief is more often for ourselves than the person who has passed on.
Hugs
Sandra: All too often I can only be glad for the person who has died, that their pain is finally over. Which doesn't reduce my grief by the smallest iota.
DeleteHugs gratefuly received and reciprocated.
So nice to see the Autumnal colours and the Arboretum looks a very nice place to visit.
ReplyDeleteYour flowers are still so colourful.
Now onto your question …
As a good friend of mine often say's when she is mulling over a question, "the jury's still out on that one" and when I read
what the celebrant said and your question that saying did come into my mind.
From my early childhood years when I remember a grandparents death and how the loss affected me and family members to more recent times when losing my parents I have found that death, loss, grief can take on many different facets. There is no easy or simple way to live with or deal with the many emotions those who are left experience, and we each experience something slightly different. Time does help, and those we lose remain in our hearts … for which I am grateful.
My sincere condolences for your loss.
All the best Jan
Lowcarb team member ~Jan: Thank you. On all counts. I still think that while the celebrant had a point it certainly isn't the whole picture. Grief is such an individual thing. And in my experience lives with us forever, sometimes gently and sometimes with teeth.
DeleteSuper photos here. The Richard Moffat's Nest is magnificent and I love those roos. Scenery is stunning, I agree with you about the railing, a work of art in itself. The trees just beautiful! don't know how to answer the comment on grief. We all seem to handle it so differently. When my parents passed and then my sister, I just felt incredibly lost and so full of grief, and also worrying about my brother-in-law and niece dealing with my sister's passing, my niece especially as she was so young. For me hubs and son got me through it. Their love and support was neverending. I do hope your celebrant is surrounded by family members who can do the same. It is an abyss that takes a long time to climb out of and because we are all so different, it all depends on that person when they can. Heartfelt condolences to everyone. Glad you're home.
ReplyDeleteDeniseinVA: I am so glad you had the support of your husband and son. And unsurprised - you give them a lot of support as well.
DeleteYou are right about grief, it certainly isn't a one size fits all question.
Isn't Nest gorgeous? We do visit it every time we go the Arboretum and I take its photo every time too.
We really enjoyed all the color in this post! In our area, we get very little autumnal changes. The standing joke is "Florida has two seasons: green and brown."
ReplyDeleteSince we are about to attend a funeral in the next few days, I gave that quote about grief some thought. Grieving is a natural emotion. Some have opined it's actually selfish. I view it as a personal way to handle the passing of a loved one and each of us may have a different way of handling that expression.
However one defines it, grief is not comfortable. Hopefully, it will not last long.
Wally Jones: Parts of my country don't get a lot of autumn either. I am very grateful we do.
DeleteI hope your funeral isn't too hard on you, and that the grief is manageable.
Richard Moffat's Nest is right up my street, it's cracking.
ReplyDeleteI think he's partly right about grief but it's much bigger than that, and it's very important we do it, not try not to. Sorry to hear of your loss dearie, as you know I don't go to funerals unless it's absolutely vital, and I know some of those vital ones will be upon me soon enough. We all have our ways of coping, none are right nor wrong, they just are, much like all of us x
Starshine Twinkletoes. Isn't Nest a joy? We really do visit it each and every time we go to the Arboretum. And love it.
DeleteI am glad you agree with me about that celebrant's words. Partly right, but there is so much more to it.