Saturday, 10 September 2022

Out of the Shadows 2022

 

Today, September 10th, is World Suicide Prevention Day, and the start of World Suicide Prevention Week.  I spend time in the dark places myself and know both how fast and easy the plummet to the bottom can be and how very hard it is to see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel much less climb out again. 

Most of you know I do voluntary work with Lifeline Australia, a telephone crisis line.  Almost everyone who rings those lines with thoughts of suicide has at least a degree of ambivalence.  I, and all the other volunteers, will work on that ambivalence to keep the caller safe for the moment/the day and to help them see and consider other options.   Lifeline believes that suicide is often preventable and that the start of the journey to safety can be only a phone call away.  It is often a long and painful journey but should never ever be one that people feel condemned to walk alone.

Here in Australia suicide is still the leading cause of death for people aged under 44.  More people die from suicide each year than are killed on the roads.  Sadly the numbers of people we lose to suicide are rising again.  Which, given that I suspect suicide is under reported, is scary.

Not only does suicide take its toll on our young, there are other groups who are over-represented in its tragic ranks including (but not limited to) our indigenous population, the LGBTQI community, people with mental health issues, farmers, tradesmen, the unemployed, and the military.  Sadly we lose more of our military personnel (serving and veterans) to suicide than we do in the theatre of war.  While we still lose more men to suicide than women, the numbers of women who die to suicide is climbing (an equality I don't want). 

Our suicide rate isn't the highest in the world but the rate in Australia is above the World Health Organisation's (WHO) global average.

In 2011 Lifeline began  national suicide prevention walks - 'Out of the Shadows and into the Light'. The walks begin before dawn and continue into the growing light.  It remembers those lost and those bereaved by suicide, with an additional focus on raising awareness.  The symbolism of starting the walk in the dark and progressing into the light of a new day means a lot to me.  Some centres start their walk later (ten or eleven) to attract more people and publicity.  I can see why, but am glad that our walks start in the dark.

I don't think that all suicide is wrong.  However, it is such a final decision that I hope it is not the first option considered or tried.  And, as a solution to a temporary problem, I do think it is wrong.  Right or wrong it is always a tragedy.  A tragedy for the person who had, or believed they had, no other options and a tragedy for those they leave behind.  And the ripples from that tragedy encompass a lot of people.  Research shows that each time someone suicides, there are up to 135 people affected.  In addition there is strong evidence that if someone close to you dies by suicide your own chances of taking that path are dramatically increased.  

I couldn't attend the first walk, but have gone on all the subsequent walks. Last year covid cancelled the walk.  Sadly covid did nothing good for the numbers of people we lose to suicide.  
 
This year the walk was on again and started from the National Carillon. Queen Elizabeth II opened it more than fifty years ago and it sits on the recently renamed Queen Elizabeth II Island which was particularly poignant today after her death yesterday.  This morning I headed off again before dawn, grateful for the opportunity.The dread disease slows me down, ensures my gait is uneven and is painful.  The issue is much more important than I am.    So I walked.  Slowly just as I do every year.  Stopping to take photos.

There were brief speeches.  Some of the names those lost were read out - which I find moving.  No longer nameless, but identified and missed...  There was also an acknowledgement that there are names we do not know, which doesn't diminish their loss.
 
This morning we were also given a song.  A song written the talented performer and tagged as a favourite by someone later died by suicide in the studio in which it was created.
 
Tears were shed.  Tears were shared.


Come walk with me, through the cool dawn, into the hopeful light of a new day.


The empty chairs from other years have been replaced with candles to symbolise the light(s) lost.  Some people carried a candle with them as they walked. 
 

























 



RU OK day is also celebrated in World Suicide Prevention Week.  A  simple question we should be asking family, friends and colleagues every day.




Some services and links which may be useful for Australian readers include:
Lifeline 1311 14
Suicide Call Back Service

74 comments:

  1. Thank you for doing all you can to help. Your commitment to fund raising, awareness and practical support of individuals suffering their own darkness is constant and costly. It is valued.

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    1. kylie: Thank you. I am one of many, and proud to be so.

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  2. What a meaningful way to bring attention to such an important issue. (And your photos are beautiful.) Kudos to you for participating despite the toll the walk demands from you.

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    1. Diane Henders: It is a cause very dear to my heart and I am glad to promote it.

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  3. It's wonderful you help like that. There's a new national suicide prevention line now in the states here and I just read calls were up 45%. I believe it. Seems here like bright beautiful college students, some athletes, are often in the news as taking their own lives. The anguished parents now their voices, struggling to go on, or to find ways to make their child's life live on, via a foundation or them helping others in some manner. I like the idea of your walk, starting in the dark, ending in the light.

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    1. Strayer: Our numbers have escalated too. And I worry about all the people who don't call. The symbolism of starting the walk in the dark and continuing into the day means a lot to me. I think it is powerful.

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  4. I can't imagine the thoughts of the people as they walk from the darkness to the light. Is it a silent walk or do people talk to each other along the way?

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    1. River: It is up to the people walking. Some walk silently and others talk. And staff and volunteers are always present in case someone wants/needs additional support.

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  5. Beautiful photos EC. The figures are mind blowing and it's not always easy to tell those that are contemplating suicide. Even looking after them in a hospital situation is not always pleasant for them.

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    1. Margaret D: Thank you. No, it isn't always easy. And hospitals are not always the solution.

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  6. I know it is an emotional rollercoaster sometimes but how wonderful to help people find even a sliver of light in their dark places.

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  7. Here in the US the hotline has gone from a regular 10 digit number to a special 3 digit number, 988. The whole US converted a few months back. There are local call centers but they overflow to any other call center in the country.

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    1. Mike: It is much the same here. It is one number for all of Australia and the calls simply go to the first vacant line.

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  8. The photos are excellent-- and it's a pleasure to see so many people trying to help.

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  9. Thank you, EC. Thank you for being part of this, helping those people in such need and for sharing your photos of your walk.. Thank you to everyone across the world who help and support people going through this dark time in their lives.
    Best wishes
    Ellie

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    1. Ellie Foster: I am very proud (and privileged) to be part of this group.

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  10. Your photos are grand and thank you for making the huge effort to be part of the walk. It is hard for some us to imagine the despair people reach when they feel that there isn't another option. How good is it that there are people like you at the end of phone line to talk to.

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    1. Andrew: I am so glad that there are LOTS of us ready to take those calls. It isn't always easy, and sometimes it is heartbreaking but it is also very rewarding.

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  11. An incredibly moving piece, Sue. I am constantly in awe of the way you subjugate your own issues to support others. If I had been there I would have walked right alongside, as slow as you wished, but we would have been together. You will never admit I, but you are an amazing person, and everyone who has ever come into contact with you is the better for it. With love - David

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    1. David M. Gascoigne: Your company would have been very welcome. It was a moving and beautiful walk - and there were birds to see and hear too. And yes, you are right. I am one of many and don't consider myself amazing at all.

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  12. Sadly suicide has really increased here the past two years due to conditions around the pandemic.
    Very somber weekend with suicide awareness, the queen's passing, and 9/11 anniversary tomorrow.

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    1. Alex J. Cavanaugh: I suspect that suicide numbers have increased the world over. And yes, it is a sombre weekend - but there is beauty too.

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  13. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all that you do to help this awful situation a little bit better. Thank you also for this incredible blog post.

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    1. DJan: Huge thanks to you too. I did worry that I was beating a drum I feel very strongly about too hard.

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  14. A beautiful piece of writing EC, and suicide has touched me profoundly - friends, myself, and others dear to me. Sadly, it is severely under-reported certainly here, but I do believe everywhere. There is so much stigma attached and the families bury the cause in the obit. So stats are definitely skewed. I would partake in a similar walk in Toronto many moons ago. Always profound. I am in awe of your putting aside your own pain to participate as it must have required a gargantuan effort. Much love to you and thanks for sharing the whole experience and the work you do to prevent it.
    XO
    WWW

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    1. Wisewebwoman: After the first walk here (which I missed) I have made a personal commitment to go on all of the others. Yes, it costs me a lot, but it is a price I am happy to pay. And yes, you are right that the numbers of people that die by suicide are severely under reported.

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  15. Thank you EC for all that you do to help people in crisis. I pray for all those who contemplate suicide every day, that someone may reach out to them, like you do.
    Hugs,
    Julia

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    1. Julia: Thank you. I hope (so much) that more and more people reach out (and find support) in their hours of pain.

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  16. RU Okay, what a profound post this is, and vitally important. Keeping abreast of our loved ones and friends is key. My ex-mother in law, even after I divorced and moved so many miles away always knew and cared deeply enough those times in my life where things were amiss, she knew above all just by my being silent, and she acted upon that every single time. Those that we know have tells and those tells are important. Take good care of you and all those that cross your path in their time of need. Your work is crucial to so many folks.

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    1. 21 Wits: Your ex mother in law sounds like a very special woman. I am so glad that you have/had her in your life. Sadly, some people are very, very good at concealing those tells. There is still a perception (particularly for men) that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Which is wrong, wrong and wrong.

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  17. Hi EC - this resonates so much with me ... I walk with my own hidden steps from long ago ... too true. Thank you for writing this masterful piece on a subject that is so tricky, so troubling - yet experienced by so many families left behind.

    RU OK ... we need to make sure that 'fine' is not necessarily so ... fine maybe ok, if one can cope ... but so many cannot - such a challenging time for so many people.

    Thank you for writing this post for us ... Out of the Shadows ... they just needs easing out of ... all the best - Hilary

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    1. Hilary Melton-Butcher: Thank you. Those shadows can seem so dark and so impenetrable. I was proud and felt privileged to be part of the walk - and the cause. Hugs.

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  18. Thank you for all that you do for your community and people in general. You give so much of yourself and I am in awe of your generosity. You are one of the most compassionate people I know and so in touch with those in need. Empathy slices those who dare to use it, but you wield the sword anyway. I know your heart. Thank you for sharing the struggle with the rest of us. Hugs and honor to you.

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    1. River Fairchild: Empathy is indeed a double edged sword - but I wouldn't be without it. Thank you (so much) for your kind words but I am very glad to say that I am one of many.

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  19. The world is full of sadness and despair. It's so difficult for some people to cope...It's is wonderful there are those who are willing to reach out to them...with the hope of helping them through the dark times.

    Take good care, EC...may the coming week treat you well.

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    1. Lee: Like you I am very glad that there are a lot of people ready to reach out and help.

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  20. I respect people who do what you do. I know so many people who have called the suicide hotline, including myself many years ago. Sometimes people just need someone to talk to.

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    1. Mary Kirkland: I think that loneliness underpins a lot of our calls. You are right people do need someone to talk to.

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  21. I am glad there is discussion about suicide finally. Talking about it doesn’t make someone do it. Making it safe to talk about is a good beginning. You do great work. Thank you!

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    1. Marie Smith: We are taught early that talking about suicide is not an incentive and can be a help. Which I was very glad to learn. Thank you.

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  22. A very moving post.
    Thank you.

    All the best Jan

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  23. Feel yourself virtually hugged, Sue.

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  24. The rates for suicide are similar here in the US

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    1. Snowy: I am not surprised. Not at all surprised.

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    2. I want you to know that my relative silence on the subject doesn't meant that I don't think about Jazz's death daily. I don't yet know if I will dedicate a post to him (sometimes, it can be hard for me to know what to say), but if I do, might I have a photo of him with which to illustrate it?

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    3. Snowy: We think of him all the time too. And tears still fall. Of course you can have a photo - but I have lost your email address.

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  25. This post should win an award. It is an example of what blogging can accomplish in sharing the light to every corner of the globe, to every person in the privacy of their home. I want to thank you for your work, for your heart, and for your perseverance. Having you in my life is a very real blessing. Wishing you all the best my dear!

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    1. Cloudia: Thank you. This is a cause very dear to my heart. Very, very dear.

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  26. This was such a poignant and sobering post, dear EC. You have touched on the fact that when a person calls your helpline, they are actually asking for help. SO many do not call, especially those who have been bullied on the internet and decide it is better to end their lives because of what they have read online about themselves.

    I am so glad you wrote this post and shared your photos and your obvious pain. Like you, I wish we could reach them all, but at least you are going above and beyond in helping those who do call. Bless you and your work.

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    1. Bleubeard and Elizabeth: Thank you. The numbers of people calling the crisis line are increasing - which is a good thing. Sadly you are right, and many do not/cannot call.

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  27. Such a lovely symbolism in walking from darkness into light. During my many years with Samaritans in UK I always asked callers if they wanted to be dead forever, or just to be out of their currently dreadful situation. If you can identify an alternative there may be something to hope for and work towards.

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    1. Relatively Retiring: That symbolism means a lot to me. And sadly yes, many of our callers do want to be dead for the moment, and don't realise it. And some don't realise it in time.

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  28. I had missed this post until I visited to read your Sunday post. Such a powerful, important walk. Thank you

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    1. Kim: Thank you for backtracking. It is indeed a powerful walk - held all over our country.

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  29. Good work. I have had to back off my volunteer work. It has been too difficult. I was diagnosed with depression in 2006. It was a relief to get help for it. It still gives me moments.

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    1. Jenn Jilks: I am glad that you are looking after yourself and sorry that the moments continue.

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  30. Thank you for being one of the ones who are on the other end of the line when people call in desperation or resignation. I could not do what you all do, and I am so glad there are folks who can. The dawn walk must be very moving, especially with the candles now. Hugs, dear friend.

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    1. jenny_o: Other people volunteer in areas I could not. I am so grateful that I found somewhere I could. And yes, that walk is always very, very moving. And emotion packed few hours.

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  31. Thank you once again for highlighting the walk, the topic, all of it. Having been through depression with no assistance, i strive to listen for those who need someone to talk to, and i try to steer them to getting help.

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    1. messymimi: I am so glad that you found your way back. And thank you for your ongoing support for others.

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  32. Suicide is always sad. However, if I am in terrible pain and terminally ill, then I would opt for suicide or death with dignity.

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    1. gigi-hawaii: I strongly suspect I would/will choose suicide in those circumstances too.

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  33. You are the best kind of role model. I realized many years later that my mother suffered from depression, and I had two friend a few years' apart who committed suicide and I didn't read the signs. I was very young when this happened but still feel the guilt. There was not a lot of help in those days. We have moved forward a little, but we have a long way to go still. Thankfully there are people like you who are other people's lifeline. I honestly think you help us all with your posts. Thank you for doing what you do my friend.

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    1. DeniseinVA: Thank you. You are right, we have made steps in the right direction, but strides are needed. I am sorry about the loss of your friends. Sadly guilt for the survivors is very, very common. Guilt, grief and regret.

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  34. I think most everyone has been affected in some way or another. For me, it was a much favored uncle. Also, as a school teacher, I have had students reach out. My heart aches for them, and I do what I can to get them in capable hands.

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    1. mail4rosey: Thank you for listening to your aching heart and doing what you can to help.

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  35. I would have walked with you and I don't care that it would have been slow. This is too important of an issue. I don't know the numbers in the US, but I suspect they are very high. As far as I know they have gone up during the past years. I don't see any improvement on the horizon.

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    1. Carola Bartz: Your company would have been very welcome. Sadly I think you are right and the numbers will remain too high for some time yet.

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  36. Tyler Perry once said, Be a light in someone's life.

    You are, Child, you and all those who help others, you all are lights.

    Sending lots of love.

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    1. neena maiya (guyana gyal): Thank you. We try. And thank you for trawling back through my posts and commenting.

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