Himself is on the road again for the next month or so.
China this time. Alone again, and travelling independently.
I love that he is feeling well enough to travel. I will worry, but that is one of my skills. I will also relish some time on my own.
But.
Last time he was away I realised that I am not as strong as I was. By the time he returned I was exhausted, in more pain than usual and it took weeks to recover.
Slowly (not slow enough) and too surely the dread disease is progressing. I am just not as capable or as independent as I was. Or as I thought/deluded myself? Which scares me. And depresses me. It is starting to warm up here which doesn't help.
Managing myself, the cats, the fish, the house, the shopping, the garden and my voluntary work on my own is now too much for me. I will have to find a compromise (or compromises) which I can afford and which will work.
Cross your fingers for me please. And please, don't suggest that I give up my voluntary work while he is away. Trading something I find fascinating (albeit not always pleasant), something which makes me feel I can still contribute to the community, and some socialising for the housework doesn't feel like a fair exchange.
China this time. Alone again, and travelling independently.
I love that he is feeling well enough to travel. I will worry, but that is one of my skills. I will also relish some time on my own.
But.
Last time he was away I realised that I am not as strong as I was. By the time he returned I was exhausted, in more pain than usual and it took weeks to recover.
Slowly (not slow enough) and too surely the dread disease is progressing. I am just not as capable or as independent as I was. Or as I thought/deluded myself? Which scares me. And depresses me. It is starting to warm up here which doesn't help.
Managing myself, the cats, the fish, the house, the shopping, the garden and my voluntary work on my own is now too much for me. I will have to find a compromise (or compromises) which I can afford and which will work.
Cross your fingers for me please. And please, don't suggest that I give up my voluntary work while he is away. Trading something I find fascinating (albeit not always pleasant), something which makes me feel I can still contribute to the community, and some socialising for the housework doesn't feel like a fair exchange.
Sending all the best thoughts and wishes you way during this next month. I sense your spirit from your posts and comments. That spirit will get through this challenge with all of her priorities taken into account. The spirit knows accepting help is a sign of strength too! Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteI agree!!
DeleteMarie Smith and fishducky: Thank you so much.
DeleteI'm sorry you are not feeling well. Hopefully, it'll pass; just be a down period. Things will work out on the home front and volunteering. You can figure out what road to take. I'm just hoping it will turn around before it gets too hot as I know the heat is bad for you. I'll be thinking of you. Hope hubby keeps you updated regularly.
ReplyDeletedonna baker: I hope he is able to communicate too. Time will tell. And thank you.
DeleteLife is cruel at times but I believe in your ability to make the most of whatever happens.
ReplyDeleteBe gentle to yourself. I'll be wishing you well
xo
kylie: I am much better at being gentle to others than I am to myself. A lesson to learn. And thank you too.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Delete" I will worry, but that is one of my skills. I will also relish some time on my own." We are so alike. That's what I thought. Till I read the rest of your heart felt post. I forwarded it to another dear friend also living with ms. And I know that you each show courage that I admire above all others. God Bless You my friend
ReplyDeleteTry to enjoy and not worry! <3
DeleteCloudia: There will be enjoyable patches. And worry. Life is complicated like that.
DeleteDon't give up volunteering, and the cats won't do it themselves, so that leaves housework. Darn.
ReplyDeleteJoanne Noragon: The cats won't work in the garden or do the shopping either. Fie on them.
DeleteI wish you strength, fortitude, and luck. I won't claim I know what you're going through, but I've definitely been disabled before and I don't wish it upon anyone. I hope you feel better and I hope you do better.
ReplyDeleteRobert Bennett: Strength, fortitude and luck are wonderful wishes. Thank you.
DeleteI am so sorry to hear this! Wishing you strength and wellness and the capacity to cope without having to give up on anything. May the universe grant you the resources you need.
ReplyDeleteNilanjan Bose: Compromise isn't surrender. Which I need to embrace. Thank you.
DeleteThat I will be sending you good thoughts and wishes goes without saying. In this lovely and vast world there can never be enough happy thoughts aimed in specific directions. And whatever you do, don't stop volunteering. I know that is where I gain strength and extreme joy. Wishing the same for you!
ReplyDeleteAnne in the kitchen: I get a great deal more from my volunteering than I give. Yes, it is tiring but, as you say strength and joy. Which I refuse to relinquish.
DeleteI have no words. But I do love you and will be sending you something in the mail in the next week or two. xo
ReplyDeleteBirdie: Thank you. You have a home in my heart.
DeleteI so admire your dedication to others over yourself, life is full of choices and I hope your's come easier to you
ReplyDeleteLinda Starr: It really isn't dedication to others over myself - I get so much from it. And housework is not my favourite activity. Thank you to you too.
DeleteI hope things go better then you think. But Jeff's mom had MS also and it is a very hard disease. Can you make some meals ahead of time in the crockpot and freeze them for when he is gone or have him help you with making some things up before he goes? That would take care of one problem. Also would help with the grocery shopping. Do you have any friends with kids old enough to help with housework or gardens. Maybe once a week. I wish I lived closer and I would help. I wouldn't give up the volunteering either as you need to see people. It would be boring to be without people.
ReplyDeleteTeresa Hennes: He is just gone, and the last few weeks were a flurry of activity getting things in place for him. When I cook I will be making bulk lots. Some to freeze, some for later.
DeleteSorry to hear about your disease. Maybe you can get someone in to clean every other week or every three weeks and to help you with the garden?
ReplyDeleteLady Fi: Getting some cleaning assistance is one of the options I will consider. The vacuuming and the bathrooms particularly.
DeleteHUGE THANKS TO YOU ALL.
ReplyDeleteA cleaner, a gardening friend who can mow and trim and a kid who can help with the shopping...time to do your volunteering and alone time with pets...if you have three people you can ask, it will be sorted. I wish I could do more than that...Hugs to you!
ReplyDeletee: Sadly no. I have got a brother who will mow the lawns, but will do nothing more. I suspect I will have to hire a cleaner. Hugs gratefully received.
DeleteFingers crossed, legs crossed, oceans of good wishes coming your way, but virtual help isn't really enough. Are you able to hire a cleaner? Maybe someone to help with the garden too? More than mowing the lawns I mean.
ReplyDeleteI wish I lived close enough to help.
River: I am seriously considering hiring a cleaner, at least for the heavy work like vacuuming and the bathroom. They aren't cheap but I think it would be worth it.
DeleteInternet shopping?
ReplyDeletekylie: I am considering it. I am a vegetarian and would rather be able to see/smell my vegies, but it is worth a try. At least once.
DeleteCan you grocery shop online and have things delivered? That would make it a bit easier for you. I prefer personal shopping, but I have done the online option occasionally.
ReplyDeleteRiver: As I said to Kylie I am considering it. I would much rather see my vegies, but it is worth a try, at least once to see what quality fruit and vegies they deliver.
DeleteCould be worthwhile choosing your fruit and veg, but shopping online for everything else so you don't have to cart stuff home. Things like cleaners and toilet paper, canned goods, like cat food etc.
DeleteRiver: That is a possibility.
DeleteHello dear, Sue. I agree with everyone above. And wish I lived down the road from you! :)
ReplyDeleteDo take care of YOU and get whatever help you can.
BECKY: Thank you. So much.
DeleteBest wishes, Sue. If you have the finances, hire helpers to do whatever is needed. In any case, house chores are definitely the last on my list of priorities, when I decide what to do.
ReplyDeleteOlga Godim: Thank you. I will (I think) be able to hire some help. And some things will get a lick and a promise.
DeleteDear EC, what a dilemma. Of course you must keep up the volunteering, that's such a necessary part of your life. And you need to eat and feed the cats. But maybe the house work could be minimised for a few weeks? I'll be thinking of you and sending encouraging vibes...
ReplyDeleteCarol: Thank you. I suspect that the housework will suffer. And probably the garden too. The garden will suffer less though.
DeleteEc you can not give up life is not a picnic take care
ReplyDeleteGosia k: I am not giving up yet. Thank you.
DeleteMy mother was quite severely injured in a car accident and was in a wheelchair when she came home from the hospital. She hired a teenager who was a good worker to help her around the house. It was a good solution for her. There are also teens who like to work with animals, run errands, cook, and garden. The challenge is to find someone good. Maybe a personal recommendation from neighbours, from your fellow volunteers, or from a school teacher or college instructor, with a promise of a good reference if the student works out well. Keep the things that bring you joy; try to get help with or ignore the rest. I know you already know these things. But sometimes we know them for others but not for ourselves. I would join the line of those willing to do things for you if I lived near enough, and I wish I lived near enough. Good luck finding some solutions, my dear friend.
ReplyDeletejenny_o: Thank you. I am leaning towards hiring some assistance for some things, letting some things slip and treating others with ignore.
DeleteWhat a brave and generous woman you are EC, to say nothing to Himself and allow him his own adventures.
ReplyDeleteEvery locality has different forms of assistance, so it is any wonder that people don't know how to access help when needed. Bluecare is a national initiative that might be able to help going forward, not just for this month.
I agree, you need your volunteering to feel connected and more than your illness. My thoughts are with you x
carol in cairns: He needs his break, and I do too. There is assistance here I think, and I will investigate Bluecare - which I haven't heard of.
DeleteI am so sorry EC, I thought Bluecare was nationwide, but see on their website it is only in NSW and QLD. I am so surprised at that.
Deletecarol in cairns: I think I will have to go private on the cleaning front, but will explore options. Thank you.
DeleteCheck the Seniors websites, you may qualify for in home aids like a cleaner for bathrooms and vacuuming. Several of the tenants here have helpers, one had me for a one-off clean of kitchen and bathrooms but there are places that offer assistance to seniors.I just don't personally know of any.
DeleteRiver: Not a senior yet. I have been negotiating with the NDIS today. If they approve it, I can have three hours a fortnight assistance with cleaning. Which would make a huge difference. Mind you, they tell me they are busy and it could take a while.
DeleteHi EC - it does sound as though you are working things out - and will make the right decisions for the time frame. I'm sure friends will perhaps set up a rota for a twice a week help - different people, different minor chores ... as you say perhaps a cleaner is a good bet. I agree choosing your own fruit and veg is a necessity ... I'm sure you'll work it out with friends' help ... good luck ...
ReplyDeleteCheers and yes keep that volunteering work going ... cheers Hilary
Hilary Melton-Butcher: Thank you. Sadly I have no friends who are in a position to help, bit I will survive this. And hopefully in better shape than last year.
DeleteHaving had a serious disease at one time when I leant heavily on my husband I hope you can get affordable help with the garden and housework... you probably already have several coping strategies in place such as doing a little each day rather than a full day of housework which is now what I prefer... get it out of the way so I can go play with clay :) good luck and good vibes being sent your way.
ReplyDeleteAnna: I do pace myself, but miss the days when the whole house could be clean at once. Not a happening thing now.
DeleteYour garden alone would knock me down from the looks of it. It looks extensive and very very nice! But that comes with work! Probably a lot. I could get tired thinking about it. I can't offer any suggestions I can think of to make your life easier except, Let the weeds grow? Let the dirt pile up and the dishes? Use paper plates and cups and throw them out, so you don't have to do dishes right now? Section off part of the house, close it to the cats and you, and hopefully it won't get dirtier than now, but you have less space to clean or worry over?
ReplyDeleteStrayer: Thank you. Closing off areas is a thought. Though, being me, I would have to clean them first.
DeleteVolunteering is a part of who you are and through that you have given inspiration to many of us. I'm sure you'll find a way to cut down on all areas in order to make things work for you. Nothing says you have to go 100 percent in all directions all the time. Do what you can, when you can and most of all remember to put yourself first and take care.
ReplyDeleteMason Canyon: Thank you. 100 per cent of most things has slipped away now.
DeleteTake care of yourself. My thoughts will be with you.
ReplyDeleteR
Rick Watson: Thank you.
DeleteI wouldn't ever tell you to give up anything, especially your volunteer work. Yes the day might come when you will absolutely have to but in the meantime enjoy the cats, the fish the shopping and primarily looking after yourself.
ReplyDeleteGranny Annie: That day will almost certainly come. But not yet.
DeleteKeep the volunteer work social is what you need.Social contact is better than any pill. I have fibromyalgia and I get this. Ditch the housework (that is the first thing I do as you know;) ) and do what you can. It will be alright you are stronger than you know I believe this. Sending strength and hugs. B
ReplyDeleteButtons Thoughts: Thank you. For a variety of reasons almost all my social interaction comes from my voluntary work now - another reason it is super important.
DeleteWhen a partner becomes a friend it is very hard to explain what they do but whatever it is they are very much needed, I know what I'm trying to say maybe you understand to.
ReplyDeleteMerle..........
Merlesworld: Thank you. Yes, I do understand.
DeleteMy fingers are crossed that this is a temporary setback. I can't add to all the good advice you received. Paper plates will ease the dish washing; delivery service on-line will ease the grocery shopping. I know here spring is when the weeds grow the fastest. Wishing you well and that your husband can find internet to communicate.
ReplyDeleteSue in Italia/In the Land of Cancer: Thank you. Spring (and rain) has indeed meant the weeds are flourishing. And perhaps will continue to do so.
DeleteI know how important volunteer work is for the soul and mind. Contributing to the community and helping others lifts us up and helps our well being in so many ways. I hope that you can find someone you trust to assist you in daily tasks, the ones we hate to do anyway.
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself.
Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe: Thank you. And why is being kind to ourselves such a difficult concept?
DeleteWishing you the best, and fingers crossed that things turn out well. I hope you can sort it out. If Sweden had not been so far away, I would have liked to help you out with the cats and the fish, and the cooking =)
ReplyDeleteCrimsonAnna: The warmth and the wonder of the blogosphere blows me away. Thank you so much.
DeleteI will indeed cross my fingers and hope that you will find some way to manage it all. You are one of my very favorite bloggers, dear EC, so I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts. Sending you love, too. :-)
ReplyDeleteDJan: Love gratefully received. I suspect I won't manage it all, but it is deciding which bits fall away.
DeleteWhether through illness or age it is no fun to find that there are things you can't do anymore...or can't do as quickly... I'm so sorry you are going through this. Is the skinny one aware that you are having more difficulties lately? Holding good thoughts for you.
ReplyDeleteonly slightly confused: Thank you. He knows, and has cut his trip back a bit. Which adds guilt to the mix.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear this, Sue, but admire your fortitude. Can you get any help from the government? Someone that can come in a few hours a week?
ReplyDeleteHugs
Sandra Cox: I have an appointment this morning. We will see what can be done.
DeleteToes-crossed, fingers firmly planted on the keyboard.
DeleteI'm sending positive thoughts down your way that you'll be guided to the decisions that will work best for you. Like others have said, hiring help to do just enough to see you through, seems to be the best option. Internet shopping w/delivery is one of my fave things.
ReplyDeleteCarol Kilgore: It will come good, but it is feeling a bit overwhelming at the moment. And thank you too.
DeleteHumph... ☹️ I agree with much of the above - i read once that we should try to remember everything we HAVE done, as opposed to the things we haven't gotten to yet... Difficult advice for those of us who are harder on ourselves than anyone else...
ReplyDeleteNicky HW: I think lots of us cut everyone else more slack than we give ourselves. Sigh.
DeleteI think it might be a good time for you to prioritise. Do what is most important to you, what makes you the happiest, and let the other stuff slide for a while. Housework would be the last thing on my list to do. Hiring a cleaner would be an excellent investment!
ReplyDeleteI don't know that I could handle it on my own if my Hubbers went away. Wishing you all the best, and I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Karen: Thank you. I know you understand. I can, sort of, manage on my own, but it is very sort of. And it doesn't take much for it all to come crashing down. Something as simple as a light globe blowing can do it.
DeleteNothing but love for you! Maybe just accept that you can't do as much and let the rest go. I think beating yourself up is the worst part of this.
ReplyDeleteSonya Ann: Like many women, beating up on myself is one of my skills.
DeleteWe both are masters at that skill.
DeleteThen don't give it up. Maybe find someone to help you with other things instead.
ReplyDeleteAlex J. Cavanaugh: Thank you.
DeleteI see you have got some good advice here. All I can give is a big virtual hug and hope you feel it :)
ReplyDeleteDeniseinVA: I feel it. And am very grateful.
DeleteGiving up is always an option, but I have a feeling you're one who will find another and more productive one. I'm with Alex. You've reached out to your cyber community and look at the support you received. I'll be there are people in your community who would respond in real-time and lend a hand. Of course, I've also crossed my fingers and sent some positive energy your direction with this comment.
ReplyDeletecleemckenzie: Thank you. Positive energy gratefully received.
Delete
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, I know just how you feel. I know even if I recover, I will never be the same person as before cancer. I had lungs drained this morning which happens twice a week, and I passed out scaring home health nurse. But once over I am back again though weak. Darn it, makes me mad to loose control. No, you should do what you want with energy you have. Let the dusting go instead!!!!
Bookie: It sucks doesn't it? I hope that things are getting better for you. Much better.
DeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It does help to say it out loud and think about possible solutions to our "problems". I hope you will look for some assistance with your work load, so that you can do what you enjoy! (isn't that, what life is all about) Getting out to volunteer and even shopping for veggies,(especially when that is your diet and it is important to get the quality you need) with spring being there, there should be more availability of fresh fruits and vegetables. I will be thinking about you. I hope you can find some solutions. Take care of yourself first!
ReplyDeleteSienna Smythe: I will find solutions. And should be thinking about a few more permanent adjustments.
DeleteOh sweetheart, I know how bad things must be because you aren't one for shouting about your daily pain and ills, and I can appreciate the fear of decline so well too. Good on him for going. I want you to look into mindfulness, it will help with your worry and has helped me deal with my pain and future fears too. Do all you can do and enjoy doing and breathe deep in between. Lots of love from this side of that far too vast ocean dear xXx
ReplyDeleteAll Consuming: Give us this day, our daily whinge. Hugs.
Delete"Give us this day our daily whinge"
DeleteI like that, gives us permission to have a grumble about something everyday. Not that we need permission...(*~*)
Add my best wishes to all those ahead of me and you should find the light to overcome.
ReplyDeleteMartin Kloess: Thank you.
DeleteMany, many hugs to you. Sigh. I wish I had a magic wand to wave. I do have a trunk full of cuss words if you run short. I just replenished it. :)
ReplyDeleteRiver Fairchild: You will be shocked and surprised to learn that my blue vocabulary never runs dry. Hugs.
DeleteThinking of you, E.C. May you find the compromise that suits you best! xx
ReplyDeleteBea: Thank you.
DeleteI hope you find a way to make things work better and less painfully.
ReplyDeletemshatch: Fingers,toes and eyes crossed.
DeleteHey Girl. Thank you for sharing this with us. I loved how honest you were. It was wonderful to read.
ReplyDeleteThe Happy Whisk: Thank you. It felt/feels a bit self indulgent.
DeleteI say accept the dirt and become one of those messy hoarder types for a bit. You could keep a photographic journal and make an exhibit of it entitled 'descent into dirt' or something :)
ReplyDeleteMad Cat Lady: Whats this BECOME a messy hoarder type? I had big plans to reduce some of the clutter in his absence. Sigh.
DeleteI would have liked to make the comment that kylie has near the top of this enormous list - she has expressed it so well. I wish you energy, strength and the time to enjoy your own company (and the cats').
ReplyDeleteKia kaha, dear EC.
Alexia: Thank you so much. I am so grateful to the people I have found in the blogosphere. Support, education, fun...
DeleteHello Sue. Like River said, I'd hope you have access to home help. You'll discover what things you can't give up and volunteering is one. I wish you all good wishes both while hubs is in China and when he returns. My recent trip to China had me sick for 2 weeks while the pollution worked its way out of my system. But he'll come back with amazing pics!
ReplyDeleteDenise Covey: Thank you. Still exploring options at the moment. The skinny one always puts on weight when he goes to India. I suspect he will cope with China perfectly well - though I hate hearing about your unwellness.
DeleteBad news to hear that your illness isn't any better, of course, they won't. Keep everything so close to you EC.
ReplyDeleteBob Bushell: Thank you. How are you doing after your recent hospital stay?
DeleteDear EC
ReplyDeleteDo take good care of yourself. Housework can definitely be put off as far as I'm concerned! It's about doing what you want to do and feel you can manage and everything else can wait its turn.
Best wishes
Ellie
Ellie Foster: Thank you. I am not a good housekeeper, but I find it difficult to settle down and relax when the house needs attention.
DeleteHI Sue I know i am late in commenting and have read all he comments adn your relies and probably there is no more I can add. Now you need to take some action, don't just think about it, do it, get help in whatever way you need it. You do need your voluntary work so that is your priority. I also wish I was nearer you to offer help but sadly I am not.
ReplyDeleteMargaret Adamson: Thank you.
DeleteOnly just found your blog, you sound an amazing person and there is little I can add to the above comments. Take care and do as much as you can without over doing it. Thoughts are with you Diane
ReplyDeleteMy Life in the Charente: Welcome and thank you. I will come and visit you in a little.
DeleteOh hon, you'll be close in my heart. May your volunteer work give you the warm loving strength and rewards that fuel you through this stretch.
ReplyDeleteRawknrobyn: Thank you. My voluntary work means a lot to me. Which some days I need to remind myself.
DeleteI’m sad to hear this. I should think the answer would be for him to end his longer travels, or to at least put however much money he spends on travels into getting help for you while he’s away (surely, one or both of you must have a fair amount of wealth). I might as well admit that I’ve never understood the purpose of these travels of his. Although I used to leave Peggy and travel alone (this only happened a few times over a period of two years) it was in search of a better place to live, and she felt that she couldn’t go because it would have meant giving up her job and burning through our savings. Maybe with the two of you, you either don’t want to go or you’re unable to go, but you’ve never said, and I’ve always regarded the whole thing as a mystery that bothered me because I didn’t understand what motivated him to travel.
ReplyDeleteSnowbrush: Travelling is his passion. If either I or our relationship died I suspect he would hit the road and never come back. He is going for less time that he wanted. We don't travel well together. I can't keep up with him, and the compromises mean that neither of us enjoy it. We also have very different ideas about how to travel. I like to absorb a place, and he likes to keep moving.
DeleteHe also travels very, very cheaply. After the airfares have been paid for he usually spends only a fraction of what he would if he remained here.
After one of his trips to India he was moaning that his final nights accommodation cost $10. And then I discovered that he had been sharing with other travellers because a festival meant accommodation was limited and that was $10 between four of them.
Hi Snowbrush. My husband and I never travel together. He only wants to visit people - family and friends in the UK, Canada, Europe etc. I like to go to new places, wander around new villages or cities, and I love to spend time in art galleries, museums, ancient ruins. He would be bored silly - as I would be, if I accompanied him on one of his trips. I also really, really enjoy being on my own. As we live in New Zealand, it's certainly not worth going to the other side of the world for a short trip!
DeletePerhaps you need to realise and consider that everybody sees life, interests, relationships etc differently, and that not all married couples like or want to be permanently joined at the hip...
Best wishes to you!
Alexia: While I agree with you, lots and lots of people have hinted (or said outright) that the fact that we don't travel together proves our relationship is substandard. I doubt that is what Snowbrush meant, but I have heard it, and resented it often.
DeleteIt annoys me too, but after nearly 40 years of marriage most people whose opinions I care about have accepted the way we operate :)
DeleteAlexia: Yes. One of my sisters in law belongs to that fraternity. Sadly she is married to the brother I am closest to.
DeleteOh man, will keep you in my thoughts. Holding it all together solo can be rough... :-( - http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com
ReplyDeleteGingi Freeman: My motto has been I can do anything if I have to for some years. I would rather it wasn't so thoroughly tested though. And thank you to you too.
DeleteSending strength and love, you're in my thoughts! Today isn't yesterday or tomorrow; one day at a time we can make it through <3
ReplyDeleteHBF: Thank you. And some days an hour at a time is enough.
DeleteSending virtual hugs...step by step you will make it through. I know everything is doubled having to do it alone. I wish Himself a safe trip and home soon. I
ReplyDeleteTerri @ Coloring Outside the Lines: Thank you. His holiday has only just begun, so it is (perhaps) a little unfair to wish it finished.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear the MS is progressing. Would it be possible for you to hire an aide, at least for the time your hubby is away? Maybe you can find a high school or college student to help out with some of the housework and shopping. It's exactly the sort of thing I would have loved doing when I was younger, and I'm sure there are still plenty of people around who'd enjoy doing it today, and who wouldn't charge you an arm and a leg for the privilege of spending time with you. (If I lived there, I'd do it for FREE!)
ReplyDeleteSending positive thoughts your way.
Susan: Thank you. At this stage I am leaning (strongly) towards hiring a cleaner for the floors and the bathrooms at least. Positive thoughts gratefully received.
DeleteWhat can I say that hasn't already been said on this post.... stay positive and pace yourself, enjoy your volunteer work, stop worrying if you possibly can, and breathe.
ReplyDeleteShammickite: I have spent a lot of the last couple of days doing very little. The essentials and no more. And the sky hasn't fallen in. Yet.
DeleteI am sending all the positive vibes that I can to you. I hope you do better than you think you will and that the warm weather will be a big help. Hugs!
ReplyDelete~Jess
DMS ~ Jess: Thank you. I hope it doesn't warm up too quickly. MS likes the heat and thrives in it. So I don't.
DeleteI live a very separate life with my partner too. We rarely do anything together, but it works for us. I've always believed that if you want to keep someone in your life you have to let them go, and that's what I feel about my daughters too.
ReplyDeleteCan you do your shopping online?
LL Cool Joe: We do somethings together, and some things separately. Which also works for us. I think I will at least test the waters on shopping for groceries (except fruit and vegetables) on line.
DeleteGodspeed to Himself! And I don't think you should sacrifice a single thing that you love and know you can manage while he's away. Keep the robustness of life that moves you.
ReplyDeleteJohn Wiswell: We had a v brief call last night. He is having a ball. And I wish I was robust. And knew what I could manage.
DeleteNo, don't give up the volunteer work - you never give up what feeds your soul. Skip the housework instead! Is there anybody who would be able to help you? Anybody whom you like and wouldn't bother to have around for several hours a week? Family? Friends?
ReplyDeleteI hope Himself is having a good time. China - awesome! He is pretty adventurous.
Carola Bartz: I spoke to him briefly last night, and he is having a wonderful time. Which is lovely.
DeleteSadly, there aren't people around who have the capacity to help. I plan on hiring a cleaner and closing my eyes to some things.
Hi EC, I haven't read every comment but did scan lots and see that you were considering hiring a cleaner to help with the heavy stuff. That's a brilliant idea, and I think the cost of it should be factored into the cost of your man's trip to China as part of the expenses. I hope you're able to work something out that leaves you feeling well and rested, take care
ReplyDeleteKim: Thank you. We will work something out.
DeleteI totally understand the enjoyment you find in some alone time - I used to feel the same when I was married. (I have a slightly reclusive streak that relished time apart.)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely get someone to clean for you, if you can. I have a lady who comes once a month and that helps tremendously. I could do it, but I lollygag so much it takes all day - I tell myself I'm helping her out by paying her. :)
Lynn: Thank you. Alone time is bliss. For us both.
DeleteI will explore the cleaning options further after the weekend. I think that it would benefit both of us to keep them on even after he returns.
“He only wants to visit people - family and friends in the UK, Canada, Europe etc.”
ReplyDeleteI had no idea, maybe because he visits such exotic places—and so many of them too! If I did that, after Australia, England, and New Zealand, I would be out of places to go, and that’s assuming that anyone in those places would want me to come and stay with them for six months while they cooked my food, did my laundry, and drove me about. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be worthwhile for me to takeg the train to such distant destinations.
“Perhaps you need to realise and consider that everybody sees life, interests, relationships etc differently”
Oh, don’t be absurd because I know for a fact that everyone sees everything exactly the same—but if I were to ever meet anyone who failed to do this, I would just point out the error of their ways, and they would no doubt change.
Snowbrush: That is Alexia's husband who wants to visit people. My partner doesn't. He does love his travelling though.
DeleteSnickering at your final paragraph. Of course we would change.
And how are you today, dear Child?
ReplyDeleteIf I were near you, I'd help cos I remember a dreadful virus I had in 2014, for 2 months I was so weak.
I hope you find someone who can assist you.
Sending you healing vibes xx
neena maiya (guyana gyal): Thank you so much for trawling through (and commenting) on my back posts. I am managing. After a fashion. Healing vibes gratefully received.
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