Wet and Aggressive Corella challenges Magpie

Wet and Aggressive Corella challenges Magpie

Thursday 16 April 2020

WEP/ISWG April 2020 Challenge -Antique Vase


The WEP/IWSG Challenge is back.  Huge thanks to the organisers and participants.  A visit HERE will give access to a range of talented (so very talented) and different takes on the theme.  I do hope you will visit others and applaud them.  Names will be added over the next couple of days and a revisit is always worthwhile.

It is early days yet, but I have already found stories to delight me, been amazed by one prompt (with a myriad of rabbit holes for me to dive down), have wept at one and laughed (definitely out loud) at another.  There is sooo much talent in this group, and the range of stories is incredible.

As is always the case I struggled with this prompt.   I am wobbling on a personal soap box here.  Covid 19 has effortlessly crossed borders: geographical borders, borders of religion, gender, age, affluence...  However, as is so often the case, the vulnerable in the community are hit hardest.  And in many cases, their supports have been removed. Which makes my heart ache.

One group who have been further endangered by the virus is those at risk of family violence.  Shelters have closed, funding has been diverted, and families have been locked down together.

At the best of times the phrase 'He/she snapped' used as an excuse/explanation/justification for violence fills me with rage.  And this is not the best of times.

 *** 


snap:

verb

past tense: snapped; past participle: snapped

break suddenly and completely, typically with a sharp cracking sound.





PETER fumed.  In the weeks after Sara left the flames of his initial rage had been replaced with a slow cold burn for vengeance.

How dare she!  How very dare she!  Throwing it all away.  Their lawyers had agreed that Sara would have safe passage and could come to the house in his absence (HIS HOME) one last time to pick up her clothing, some essential papers and precious mementos.  That ugly antique vase that she treasured was specifically included.  Treasured more than their marriage!!!! 

They might have agreed.  He had not.  Today was the day.


He left the house at the usual hour, dressed in his work clothes in case anyone was watching, parked the car out of sight several blocks away, doubled back, let himself quietly in the back door and continued his preparations.

As instructed what right did they have to instruct him!  the clothing she had left behind, her jewellery, her passport, her tax papers, photos of her family and her laptop were in the kitchen.  In a neat pile.  She might not recognise them in their current form but they were all there.  Shattered, torn, drenched in piss and petrol but there.

The vase her grandmother left her was there too.  He had spent hours and hours sharpening the largest shard to a razor edge.  Shard in hand he went to the darkened front room and waited.

And waited some more.  She was never on time, something he had often been forced to speak to her about.

At last.

Her car pulled into the driveway, the door slammed, and he heard her key in the lock.

As she headed down the hall to the kitchen he heard her say 'I am fine.  His car wasn't here, the house is dark.  I will be in and out of here in less than half an hour.  Love you' .  He smiled and quietly padded down the hall after her.

She turned the light on in the kitchen, gasped and started to sob.  She sobbed and he laughed as he pulled her into a tight embrace.   'You should have realised just how good your life with me was' he snarled as he sliced that razor sharp precious memento across her throat.  A plume of blood arched across the kitchen and he let her drop onto the pile of things she valued.   The gush of blood slowed to a trickle.  Still laughing he emptied the rest of the can of petrol over her body and stood beside her unlit pyre... 

And in his defence the court was told that the stress of his marriage break down made him snap...



OR


SARA didn't trust him.  She knew that he wouldn't give up so easily.  She was a possession in his eyes, a possession who had no right to seek her freedom.  Oh yes, the lawyers had said that she had safe passage for this one day (so long as she came alone), but it didn't hurt to check.

She got up early.  Very early.  Binoculars trained on the front door she watched the lights go on in the house.  First the bedroom then the bathroom and finally the kitchen.  She watched the lights go out again, and saw him emerge and carefully lock the door behind him.  He looked unchanged, and the direction his car headed was the same as always.  She watched.  She waited.  There was no sign of him and the house was still and dark.

Nearly two hours later the house was still quiet.  She got in her car and drove to the house for the last time.  Her phone rang as she parked.  'Yes mum I am fine.  His car wasn't here, the house is dark.  I will be in and out of here in less than half an hour.  Love you' .

She headed to the kitchen, turned the light on, gasped and started to sob.  She really shouldn't have expected anything else.  Furious and heartbroken she cradled a sharp and jagged piece of the vase which had always stood in her grandmother's home.  The vase her grandmother had left her.  Her only memento of that precious woman.  It had been so beautiful.  Elegant.  Richly coloured in deep, deep blues and burgundies.  It had begged to be touched.  She had stroked it each time she went past as a child, and each time she came in or went out the door of the house she shared with Peter. 

The squeaky board at the kitchen door shrieked a warning.  Still holding that shattered piece of her history she whirled round and lashed out as he came through the door at her.  Slashed out and connected.  A plume of blood arched across the kitchen, spraying her, spraying the walls.  He collapsed onto the pile of things she had valued, and the gush of blood slowed to a trickle, then stopped...

And in her defence the court was told that the destruction of all her possessions and her fear of what he might do made her snap...



 858 words.
Full critique acceptable.



118 comments:

  1. Oh, my heart!!! These are so powerfully written.
    I worry about some of the families I've worked with over the years. There are so many vulnerable people right now. Thankfully our police force and child services are checking in on families who have case files to make sure all is well.
    Sending hugs your way

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    1. Jemi Fraser: Hugs gratefully received and reciprocated. Sadly I think our police force and child services are both stretched - and new cases are added daily.

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  2. Both of these are so powerful. I was totally into both stories. I like the second one better just because I so much more sympathize with the woman. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Natalie Aguirre: My sympathies are with Sara too. All of the Saras.

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  3. Oh my! That was quite powerful. I was breathless as I read through to the end. Well-written and gripping! Thanks for sharing.

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  4. Chillingly realistic and very well written, EC.
    Thank you.

    It is definitely not the best of times.
    It is definitely time to be extra gentle with ourselves and each other.
    Much love.

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    1. Rawknrobyn: How I wish it was fiction, instead of sanitised reality.
      Gentle hugs flowing your way - today and every day.

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  5. Oh, wow! That was gripping. I like the second version much better.

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    1. Olga Godim: And someone dies in both versions...

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  6. E.C., both of your stories are very gripping and realistic. As bad as it sounds, I would hope the second outcome would be what happened. It is scary to think about all the families at risk.

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    1. Mason Canyon: The second version DOES happen - but much more rarely than the first. And thank you.

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  7. It is so very sad, we are concerned here, too. Red-headed Alec called me last week with the case of a friend whose boyfriend had turned abusive. We were able to convince her brother to take her in, all of the shelters want proof that you've been isolated for two weeks prior to admission. It's awful.

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    1. messymimi: It is beyond awful isn't? Frightening and heartbreaking. I am glad that you were able to help Red-headed Alec's friend. Thank you.

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  8. Oh my, the horrible thing is that situations like this happen every day. The headline in our local paper yesterday was that an elderly man strangled his elderly wife while she sat in a chair. He called the police right after he did it and was crying. I was shocked to read this as it not something we hear about around this rural area. However, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

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    1. Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe: It is an awful realisation isn't it? And too much happens behind closed doors, happens and is hidden and/or ignored.

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  9. Either way, a sad outcome. And mentally, yes, they probably both snapped.

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    1. only slightly confused: You are right about the outcome. I think that the Peters of this world put too much planning into the vengeance to fit the 'snapped' definition. They are broken just the same.

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  10. Such creativity! I could never do as you have done!

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    1. Cloudia: You should read some of the other pieces in this challenge? I have been blown away.

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  11. Awesome, powerful writing! I love your stories - both the deliciously evil bent of the first one, and the sympathetic, horrific vibe of the second. You are an excellent storyteller, the kind I imagine would captivate audiences around the campfire in bygone days. Keep writing. I'll keep reading.

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    1. River Fairchild: Many thanks. As you know I am an occasional dabbler rather than a writing. An occasional dabbler who is surprisingly comfortable inside dark minds.

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  12. Wow. This totally took me off guard. Awesome. As I read this, the images were so strong in my brain.

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    1. Susan Kane: As they were in mine as I was writing these pieces. I am selfishly glad that I was able to share the nastiness.

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  13. It's a fear many of us have. We were just commenting the other night that the news stations are no longer filled with a new killing every night, but with the virus. Now death comes from a germ instead of a bullet. But as you and many have said, what goes on behind closed doors is never truly told. And especially now as all things are on 'lockdown.'
    Your story is too close to the truth to be fiction, but is, in fact the truth more often than not.
    Great job with a tough subject!
    Thanks, Sue, for stepping in and helping out. It's so very appreciated!

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    1. Yolanda Renee: Fictionalised truth? Sadly it is real for too many. And the community suffers.
      The WEP team has given me an immense amount of pleasure (and support) over the years, I am glad to be able to offer some support.

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  14. Frighteningly realistic. I read a news article the other day that said domestic violence cases are increasing with the self-isolation protocols - it's terrible to think that some people have to choose between risking death from COVID-19 or from an abusive spouse.

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    1. Diane Henders: Increasing the world over and, as messymimi flagged, some refuges are demanding proof that the applicant has been in isolation for the two weeks prior to them seeking admission. And of course, they cannot provide that proof.

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  15. Give me the second one, not the first. A clever lady who didn't deserve the abuse or to die on a funeral pyre of her possessions. (I was afraid she'd get slapped with a long sentence as women often do.) But no, you satisfied me.
    It's true more women than ever are dying through this time of isolation. Why can't we offer better solutions than to send them back to their abusers.

    Thanks for a sterling story for the prompt. Soon my heartbeat may return to normal...

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    1. Denise Covey: Thank you. Sadly, while most of us would prefer the second, it is much rarer. Which makes my heart and head ache.

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  16. I really like what you did with the juxtaposition of the two stories. That was a unique way to approach it. I agree that in his case, the whole thing was way too planned to say he "snapped." The judge and jury screwed up on that one. For her? I'd call it self-defense, not snapping. So they messed that up, too. Too sadly common. I've been worrying about children and spouses in bad situations during this time of isolation.

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    1. Rebecca M. Douglass: Thank you. We don't actually know how the judge and the jury rules in either case. Both courts were 'told' that the accused snapped. And yes, I would agree with your assessment.

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  17. Oh my that kept me on my toes...I love your writing Soosie <3

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  18. Two beautiful writings.
    Well done.

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  19. Two dark sides to one very dark story, I'm very impressed and that needs capitalising. VERY IMPRESSED.

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  20. Hi EC - both are so well written - and I can hear the pain of many who are being abused now ... but you really highlighted two sides of many potential victims/ abusers. Desperately awful ... but you really sold us both stories. Yes - as the others have mentioned and as River states above 'Very Impressed' - excellent story telling ... that's from me! Take care - Hilary

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    1. Hilary Melton-Butcher: Thank you. I really struggled about whether to include both stories, but I am glad that you approve.

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  21. Replies
    1. Bob Bushell: It is. Olga's badges are always spectacular.

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    1. Intervention Order Lawyer: Welcome and thank you. How I wish that your profession was not in such high demand.

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  23. living in constant close conditions can bring old scores to the surface, bickering becomes hatred and humans become as dangerous as Chimpanzee holding a Sevres Vase.

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    1. Vest: It can indeed. I suspect that humans are often more dangerous than the chimpanzee. And more destructive too.

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  24. oh my. can only say I loved the second version more, but know that it is the first that happens more often. her fear in the 2nd reminded me of the fear I felt for more than a year after I left my abuser in 2001. Even though I moved across the country, every vehicle I saw that was similar to his would make me afraid. Every profile, every back of the head walking in front of me. It is difficult to sleep at night with a loaded handgun under the pillow.

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    1. Cindi Summerlin: The second version does happen, but MUCH more rarely. I am very glad that you escaped and that you have left that part of your life behind you. So many cannot.

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  25. I definitely preferred the second version. Such abuse is a lot more common than we know. In some areas religion is used as an excuse for abuse. I don't care who you are there is NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE.

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  26. Unfortunately scenario # 1 is the norm. If we can call it such. Daughter founded the Counting Dead Women site in Canada and it was horrifying the number of femicides, one every 3 days. I note in England they have doubled since Covid.

    Women trust too much, live in fear too much and the police are very lax in what is called "domestic violence" when it is actually terrorism.

    Very well written.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. Wisewebwoman: That statistics in Australia are sadly similar. We lose between one and two people a week to what you so rightly call domestic terrorism. Mostly women and children.

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  27. These both take my breath away. In either tale 2 lives are ruined forever and it is a tale that repeats over and over and over.

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    1. Anne in the kitchen: How I wish that we were not stuck in this cycle. This ugly, destructive cycle.

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  28. So well written. You show insight into the desperation of women abused by irrational, misguided and cruel men. I think many do not realize the courage it takes for women to leave these men once not only their bodies, but their minds have been abused by constant downgrading of their dignity. (As a social worker and therapist, I have worked with these women. They need support, encouragement and there needs to be more understanding of the dynamics of abuse.). I appreciate that you write about this with such insight.

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    1. Myrna R.: Thank you. That must have been a very hard part of your work. So often the victims of abuse need to make multiple attempts to break free, and too many of them don't succeed. Calls about family violence are the ones I find hardest when on the crisis line.

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  29. With utterance of divorce and revenge it became predictable that the it is going to be a tragedy. The reverse action (the version of Sarah's) revenge started like plot points until the description of vase started. Very entertaining idea.
    Regards,
    Sanhita.

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    1. Sanhita Mukherjee: Welcome and thank you. It is such a sad tale, and one that is repeated world wide.

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  30. Oh gosh, EC. Beautifully written, but they make my heart heavy.

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  31. I really wonder how people can turn vengeful toward someone they love or used to love. You've written the perspectives quite well.

    Maybe I should join WEP challenge again. We'll see.

    Have a lovely day.

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    1. lissa: Thank you. This WEP challenge has only a few days to run - if you want to join in (and you would be more than welcome) you would need to be quick.

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  32. I know that this is a subject very close to your heart and relevant now in the time of Covid. You are such a talented story teller. This was such an enjoyable read. I prefer the second ending - hehe. Woman as victor not victim.

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    1. Kalpana: Thank you. I also prefer the second version - despite the fact that someone dies in both.

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  33. How I enjoyed reading these...you have kept me well entertained!😊😊
    I do prefer the second ending too...

    Have a great day, my dear friend!

    Much love and hugs ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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    1. Ygraine: Many thanks - and a belated happy birthday. I receive and reprocate you hugs and love.

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  34. I love that you did both sides of the story. Of course, I'm a fan of both but if I had to choose, number two!! Well done!

    Stay healthy and safe,
    Elsie

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    1. Elsie Amata: I do too, but I also know that Sara's life will be changed irrevocably. Killing a person cannot help but do that.

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  35. Wow,those are intense and both well written. The second is my favorite of the two. Very gripping. And yes, I agree with you that 'snapping' is not an excuse to hurt others, or worse.

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    1. mail4rosey: Thank you. So many of us prefer the second - and it does happen, but soooo much more rarely than the first.

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  36. Those are both really well written. I am saddened with all the closures that some of the people who are in need don't have a place to escape violence.

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    1. Mary Kirkland: So am I. And at the best of times there are insufficient safe places.

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  37. I'm at a loss for words. This was powerful, definitely food for thought.
    My heart goes out to all the people trapped in homes that are not their safe places.

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    1. Toi Thomas: It is heartrending isn't it? Home should be safe - and so often isn't.

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  38. Wow EC! Both of these are so powerful! My heart goes out to anyone in an abusive relationship!! They are both very well written! Big Hugs!

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    1. Magic Love Crow: Thank you. My heart goes out to those trapped in these relationships too - and there are way too many of them. Hugs to you too. Always.

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  39. For your Info,I have posted a General Knowledge Quiz on my Blog The Daily Gaggle.

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    1. Vest: I saw it, but am a tad too busy to play. Later perhaps.

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  40. Hi,
    Both of the versions are awesome. I tend to go with the second version though where she snaps and get her revenge for what he has done by destroying the lovely vase that belonged to her grandmother.
    Well written and you had my engagement through both stories.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat Garcia

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    1. Pat Garcia: Thank you. I very nearly only posted one version. I am glad that I was able to engage you with both.

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  41. OMG your stories are incredibly realistic. Trust me when I say I know.

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    1. J C: I am sorry. So very sorry that you and others know this ugly reality (but selfishly glad that you felt I had captured it).

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  42. I loved the way you approached this, showing two different scenarios for how this all played out. They both seem plausible. So many bad marriages end with someone getting killed, unfortunately.

    You did a great job with Peter's character. He's such a reprehensible person, and she definitely right to leave him. Leaving a person like that can be truly dangerous, though, and you did a great job capturing that here.

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    1. L.G. Keltner: Thank you. I am endlessly fascinated (and appalled) at the way love can turn to hate in a heartbeat. Sadly it doesn't seem to work in the other direction.

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  43. Love the duality of the prompt. Not sure which is more powerful but I do love a happy ending. Thanks for the thoughtful read.

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    1. Edix: Welcome and thank you. I am not sure that either version has a happy ending here. Perhaps the second (sort of) depending on what the decision of the court is, and whether Sara can live with herself. Do you have a blog where I can visit you?

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  44. This was so artfully done. You cleverly built up the tension so that I was on the edge of my seat. You showed us Peter's manipulative and controlling nature through his thoughts and actions. It rang true to me that he was blaming her for his sickening behaviour and thinking that she deserved it.

    I've heard the "he just snapped" defence too many times, as if there's ever justification for that kind of violence and abuse.

    I love how you included two possible alternatives so we could make up our own mind about what happened. I do hope it was the latter, though poor Sara would still likely end up in prison for the rest of her life for an act of defence.

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    1. Anstice Brown: Thank you. Sara does exist, but rarely. And yes, she is often imprisoned. I also wonder whether even if the courts don't punish her her own thoughts do.

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  45. He seems like an absolutely horrible man. Version #2 is my pick!

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    1. The Ornery Old Lady: Peter IS a horrible man. Sadly there are plenty of men like him.

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  46. Such a thrilling story. Enjoyed both point of views immensely. Although it could have been even more powerful if the result were the same. They both slit the others throat. Well done, suspense, dark humour, it has it all.

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    1. Susan B: Thank you. And of course they did both are dead. One by malice aforethought and the other less intentionally.

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  47. Clever, EC and well written. Two POVs, two experiences yielding the same/different punishments. Hers felt more justified, especially in the domestic violence sense. One was pre-meditated murder, while the latter seemed more self defence manslaughter. Your words about the current crisis are so true - and a real worry. I'm grateful two of my step-family left their abusive partners in March so evaded being locked down with them.

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    1. Roland Clarke: Thank you. I am so glad that your step-family were able to escape in the nick of time. Sadly we see too many cases here like Peter's where despite obvious premeditation and planning they claim to have snapped. Some media supports their claims as well.

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  48. You are on the verge of a Rashomon tale here. I was intrigued by both and I'm glad you addressed another major issue that has come from this strange and isolating time in our lives. Excellent job.

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  49. cleemckenzie: Many thanks. I had to investigate Rashomon (not a term I knew) and you are right. Sadly this major issue predated Covid 19 and will continue after it. It has been further aggravated by it though.

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  50. Wow, this was powerful. The tension in both stories had my heart pounding. All too often, the first scenario is the one closest to the truth, unfortunately. A tough subject and a unique take on the prompt. Well done.

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    1. Donna Hanton: Thank you. Sadly I know that the first scenario is much more common. Here in Australia most weeks two or more women (and often children) die through family violence. Heartbreaking.

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  51. A powerful, tragic, and tense narrative of a love gone wrong. Well done, Elephant's Child.

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    1. Christopher Scott Author: Thank you. How I wish it was fiction.

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  52. Powerful writing. Interesting to see the two different view points. I'm with the second story.

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    1. Sally: Thank you. I think most of us would prefer to see the much rarer second story, despite the fact that both involve death.

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  53. Great concept for the prompt.
    I enjoyed the writing more in the first, it held my attention more and kept me on the edge of my seat. But I like the ending of the second story more, where the "good" character triumphs.

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    1. J Lenni Dorner: Thank you. I agree with your assessment. Sadly (for what it says about me) I found it much easier to get inside Peter's head than I did Sara's (which shows in the writing I beleive).

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  54. Absolutely brilliant execution of the prompt. Powerful and a heart stopper. I felt the first one was more 'real,' the second one felt more satisfying because of the 'poetic justice.' Brava!

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    1. Nilanjana Bose: Many thanks. You, and J. Lenni are right. The first scenario is less sketchy and better realised (though I wish the poetic justice of the second was less rare).

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