Today, September the 10th is set aside as an awareness day to mark a world-wide commitment to reducing the number of suicides, and marks the start of World Suicide Prevention week.
Like so many other health and safety issues, one day/week is totally insufficient. The available data (which is incomplete and delayed) suggests that more people kill themselves than die in wars, terrorist acts and interpersonal violence combined. Without question Covid has increased those numbers, and they will stay high for quite some time. The crisis phone lines are ringing hot, and the pain, the fear, the desperation are so very evident.
Most of you know I do voluntary work with Lifeline Australia, a telephone crisis line. Almost everyone who rings those lines with thoughts of suicide has at least a degree of ambivalence. I, and all the other volunteers, will work on that ambivalence to keep the caller safe for the moment/the day and to help them see and consider other options. Lifeline believes that suicide is often preventable and that the start of the journey to safety can be only a phone call away. It is often a long and painful journey but should never ever be one that people feel condemned to walk alone.
Here in Australia suicide is still the leading cause of death for people aged under 44. More people die from suicide each year than are killed on the roads. Sadly even before the pandemic the numbers of people we lose to suicide were rising again. Which, given that I suspect suicide is under reported, is scary.
Not only does suicide take its toll on our young, there are other groups who are over-represented in its tragic ranks including (but not limited to) our indigenous population, the LGBTQI community, people with mental health issues, farmers, tradesmen, the unemployed, and the military. While we still lose more men to suicide than women, the numbers of women who die to suicide is climbing (an equality I don't want).
In 2011 Lifeline began national suicide prevention walks - 'Out of the Shadows and into the Light'. The
walks begin
before dawn and continue into the growing light. It remembers those
lost and those bereaved by
suicide, with an additional focus on raising awareness. The symbolism
of starting the walk in the dark and progressing
into the light of a new day means a lot to me. Some centres start
their walk later (ten or eleven) to attract more people and publicity. I
can see why, but am glad that our walks start in the dark. This date and the event are important to me. Sadly my city is still in lockdown and this year's walk has been cancelled. I expect that the same is true in two of our most populous states. My heart goes out to the bereaved and to those at risk.
I
don't think that all suicide is wrong, particularly given our
euthanasia laws. However, it is such a
final decision that I hope it is not the first option considered or
tried. And, as a solution to a temporary problem, I do think it is
wrong. Right or wrong it is always a tragedy. A tragedy for the person
who had,
or believed they had, no other options and a tragedy for those they
leave behind. And the ripples from that tragedy encompass a lot of
people. Research shows that each time someone suicides, there are up to
135 people affected. In addition there is strong evidence that if
someone close to you dies by suicide your own chances of taking that
path are dramatically increased.
RU OK
day (September 14) is also celebrated in World Suicide Prevention Week. A simple question we
should be asking family, friends and colleagues
every day.
Suicide Call Back Service
These lines are open 24 hours a day, but they are also inundated with callers. You may not get through straight away, but please keep trying.
I do hope that you, and those you love are safe. So many of you have become very dear to me. Be kind, and include yourselves in that kindness.
"Here in Australia suicide is still the leading cause of death for people aged under 44."
ReplyDeleteOh, my Lord.
Sandi: I suspect the same is true for much of the developed world. Which is truly dreadful.
DeleteHere in Canada, the number 1 cause of death is cancer, second Heart disease and # 9 is suicide and like Australia, there are more men than women who die by suicide. In Canada, death by suicide is three time higher in males than females.
ReplyDeleteYou are to be commended for helping those who need help at their lowest time in their lives and for showing such great love for them.
I agree, one day a year is really insufficient for such a serious problem.
Thanks for your volunteering and for caring.
Hugs, Julia
Julia: I am not sure what our number one cause of death is - though cancer would be right up there. I was and am appalled that suicide is leading cause of death for those under 44 though.
DeleteThose are scary numbers. I tried finding the Danish equivalents - Danes seem less suicide prone, but still more below 40 (160 a year) die of this than road accidents (125 a year) - even if the numbers in both cases are not big, each one is one too many. Cancer kills 1000, that's the number one killer of Danes below 40.
ReplyDeleteCharlottoe (MotherOwl): Deaths to suicide, deaths on the road - you are right. Any number is too high.
DeleteI appreciate your message, EC. Beautifully written, inspiring hope through the darkness.
ReplyDeleteMarie Smith: Thank you. I hope that people in the dark places can see the light in time.
DeleteSuicide's a horrific problem. Depression is so very dark.
ReplyDeleteWhat you do humbles me.
Sandra Cox: Depression is a vicious beast isn't it? Thank you, but fortunately I am one of many.
DeleteVicious beast is a purrfect description.
DeleteThank goodness you are one of many, though it doesn't lessen your personal value.
Sandra Cox: A VERY vicious beast which bites too many of us - sometimes repeatedly. Hugs.
DeleteLong ago I read where low magnesium levels contribute to suicide. But no one talks about it. I take a daily multivitamin. I just checked and it had magnesium but only 12% of the daily recommended amount. Maybe everyone should have a bottle of magnesium like you should have aspirin in your medicine cabinet. I should look into magnesium supplements.
ReplyDeleteHere is some good info from the National Institute of Health... https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16542786/
Mike: I hadn't heard of low magnesium levels as a trigger. I don't think there is any single solution for this multi-facetted problem, but any avenue which might help is worth exploring.
DeleteMagnesium foods: wheat bran and wheat germ, most of the nut family, sesame seeds, tomatoes, lettuce, spinach, garlic, parsley, bananas when they are fully ripe, dried apricots and dates, yummy peaches.
DeleteMy calcium tablets also contain magnesium.
River: Thanks. I eat a lot of those (but prefer my bananas under ripe).
DeleteDear EC
ReplyDeleteI have just checked the rates for England and in 2020, there were 4912 suicides, with males aged between 45-49 being the highest. Also, there was a higher rate of suicide in the North East of England. It is always a tragedy, for the person concerned and for those closest to them who will always think about whether they could have done more to help.
Thank goodness for the Samaritans and Lifeline and for those people like you who offer hope, understanding and care to others who are at their darkest time.
Best wishes
Ellie
Ellie Foster: Thank you. I am not sure which of our ages groups has the highest number - but continue to be appalled at suicide being a leading cause of death for ANY age group (and particularly for the young).
DeleteWhat an interesting post. Aside from the self-destructive instances in my family (big history of alcoholism and addiction), I've never dealt with suicide or its outcomes.
ReplyDeleteThe RU OK day, and every one after it, is food for thought.
Marty: I think the RU OK day is a brilliant initiative. Something we can all do, and something which may well make a significant difference.
DeleteIt's always good to see your posts on this topic, EC. It's not something that gets enough attention. Suicide seems like a terribly lonely way to go, and I ache for those who can see no other option. Fervent thank yous to you and all who work the crisis lines and provide hope to the desperate . . . or sometimes, I'm sure, are the last kind voice the desperate hear.
ReplyDelete"Be kind, and include yourselves in that kindness." And you as well.
jenny_o: I think that loneliness underpins most of the calls we receive on the crisis line. Hopefully we can stop that final step. I do try to be kind to myself, but it is yet another work in progress. And thank you.
DeleteWe should always be asking RU OK? It can take so little for someone to not be so.
ReplyDeleteJoanne Noragon: YES. It is such a simple question and can be a life saver. We should ask ourselves too.
DeleteYou're a blessing.
ReplyDeleteBe blessed.
Rawknrobyn: Thank you.
DeleteSadly I haven't heard anything about today being Suicide Prevention Day. At least you have written well about the day.
ReplyDeleteAndrew: I expect you will hear more about RU OK day - it is less confronting.
DeleteEven more important these days, I believe.
ReplyDeleteGood work is being done...
Lee: Definitely very important at the moment. Particularly for many of those in lockdown.
DeleteThe suicide stats are horrendous and I do feel for those affected, but I'm also glad that I do not get so low that I would consider suicide. That kind of deep depression/misery is completely unknown to me. I do wish more could be done to help, but often those who need the help, don't realise they do and if nudged by others they continue to say "I'm fine", or "leave me alone, I'll be okay."
ReplyDeleteRiver: I am glad that you don't get that down. Sadly you are right and some people do resist treatment. For others it is too expensive or difficult to find. There can be a waiting list of months to even see a counsellor/psychologist/psychiatrist and sometimes the first (or even the second) is simply not a good fit.
DeleteI think I saw on somewhere where I read it was 'the' day.
ReplyDeleteSo sad.
You obviously do a marvellous job in your work at Lifeline, not everyone is cut out to train and work there - well done, keep up the good work for I'm sure you have saved many a person from doing themself harm EC.
Margaret D: Thank you. There are LOTS of us, and we receive excellent training (initially and in the required refreshers each year).
Deletethank you for these thoughtful words and reminder. Lifeline do marvellous work -thank you for your volunteer time with them.
ReplyDeleteAnna: Thank you. I am proud (and privileged) to be part of the Lifeline team. Mind you, I also wish that we weren't needed so badly.
DeleteInteresting article. Quite concerned to see news of suicide in your country. Stay safe and healthy
ReplyDeleteVicky Cahyagi: Thank you. Our suicide rates ARE concerning, though they are not the highest. You stay safe and healthy too please.
DeleteHi EC - thank you for reminding us to remember those who have taken their lives, as too those who are left behind. Like you I have experience ... and it is talked about here in the UK - there's so much to think about ... until it touches one.
ReplyDeleteAs you confirm the main thing is for us all to ask 'Are you OK? ... and take time out with people to help them through.
It is in my mind all the time ... and the sadness trail it leaves. Your lifeline work is always good to read about - as it reminds us that so many need help and guidance at times in their life.
This has got a bit of a ramble - I'd better get on with the day of muddle ahead. Thanks for helping and reminding us - all the best - Hilary
Hilary Melton-Butcher: Thank you. I am glad that it is talked about in the UK - we are starting to, but have some way to go yet.
DeleteI hope your day off muddle is productive and/or fun.
I have read this sensitive piece three times, Sue, and I am still at a loss to frame an adequate comment. One of the things that occurs to me is to wonder whether I have the sensitivity to recognize whether a person has reached the abyss where suicide is an attractive option, to say nothing of the skill to reach out and help. I have nothing but the greatest admiration for the work you do at Lifeline. I am sure it would overwhelm many of us. Hugs, David
ReplyDeleteDavid M. Gascoigne. We have excellent training and yes, it IS overwhelming at times. As to whether someone has reached that point? We ask. Directly if we are at all concerned. And sometimes ask again. I have certainly wept with and for our callers. And been humbled by their resilience.
DeleteI've always known that suicide effects the family and close friends of those who take their own life. I didn't realize until a few years ago that even a casual friend (for lack of a better word) can be touched by it. Our neighbor, who we had only known briefly, took his own life a couple of years ago and it touched us both deeply wondering why we didn't see it and how could we have helped. You do a wonderful job, thank you for being there for those who have a need. Take care, be safe my friend.
ReplyDeleteMason Canyon: Thank you. It is amazing just how many lives (and sadly deaths) touch our own isn't it. Simulantaneously wonderful and scary.
DeleteHi!
ReplyDeletesuicide is a great tragedy. it affects all the closest people. it's a big problem and it's good to talk about it to be aware of it.
Greetings from Poland!
Ayuna: I agree. Things hidden in the dark have a nasty tendency of festering and growing.
DeleteThank you, dear friend, for all the work you do to prevent suicide. I've lost a few people myself, and they come right to mind when I think of how much I still miss them. :-(
ReplyDeleteDJan: They are forever missed aren't they? Which I suspect they did not know.
DeleteVery timely and compassionate EC. One of the issues around these stats is one that troubles me greatly and is much in the headlines. The guy who murders his wife/partner and children and then offs himself. Those stats are frightening too. Femicide is a real thing.
ReplyDeleteMany of the suicide stats are not recorded and covered up by families as they feel the "shame" of it. I have known many. There was the old RC religious thing too of not burying the victims in "consecrated ground" which added to the shame.
I too am a familiar with those dark places of the spirit when everything felt hopeless and no one would miss me if I opted out.
XO
WWW
Wisewebwoman: Sadly those murder/suicides happen here too. Often the murders are much more successful than the suicides. While we are a little more open now, I suspect suicide is still often concealed. Which bothers me.
DeleteSadly too many of us know those dark places/times. Hugs.
- Good morning.
ReplyDelete- Good morning.
- Are you fine?
- Yes, thank you. And you?
- Wonderful, whenever I see you ...
Polite smalltalk, several thousand times a year. Enough to keep a person from that so very lonesome final step? I doubt that.
"Are you ok?" is nice a question, mostly asked superficially, though. Most contemporaries do neither expect nor want to hear anything else but a "Yes."
Beginning of a vicious circle.
Empathy would help more, kindness and the ability to listen.
You do, Sue. Allow me to virtually hug you.
The peace of the night.
Sean Jeating: You are right of course. RU OK is often asked in a superficial way. We need to get past that point, ask the question and LISTEN to the answer. And we need to be a safe place for an honest answer too. Not easy - but worth while. So very worth while.
DeleteHugs to you too - and a peaceful night as our day dawns.
Thank you for the time you give to this, as I'm sure I've mentioned before my brother tried to end his life whilst at uni. And one of my daughter's has constant suicidal thoughts as she has BPD. Those stats you gave are scary.
ReplyDeleteLL Cool Joe: Thank you. You have mentioned your brother before and I am glad that your mother was there for him. She so often wasn't. I didn't know about your daughter and my heart goes out to her and your family.
DeleteSuch an important post, EC! Thank you for helping people on Lifeline Australia. Having someone to reach out to in a desperate time can absolutely save a person's life. I have battled with depression and fought back suicidal thoughts too many times in my life. I will forever be grateful to a driller, Don Foster, who saved me from committing suicide in the Kansas Oilpatch over forty years ago. What I couldn't imagine at the lowest point in my life was all the wonderful things that would come in the not too distant future. I also couldn't see how my suicide would have crushed my parents and family. I was no burden! Your statistics are tragic and sobering.
ReplyDeleteFundy Blue: I am so glad that you found someone to help you, and that you went on to have a wonderful life.. And yes, I totally understand not seeing how your suicide would have affected your parents and family in a negative way. Those dark thoughts are very, very powerful aren't they?
DeleteIt's always a tragedy, and i pray that everyone contemplating it will decide, not today, today I will seek help.
ReplyDeletemessymimi: Always a tragedy indeed. And I hope that those who take the huge step and seek help find it.
DeleteThank you for posting this.
ReplyDeletee: I felt compelled to do so.
DeleteDon't blame covid, blame the government and the uncritical media.
ReplyDeleteHope you're doing fine.
Blue
Blue Grumpster: Suicide is an ongoing issue. And it has certainly been made more prevalent by Covid/people's reactions to Covid/government actions around Covid/media reporting...
DeleteBuon fine settimana.
ReplyDeleteGiancarlo: Thank you, and to you.
DeleteA statistic that was presented to me once was that in the first year post partum, the most common cause of death for mothers is "violence".
ReplyDeleteWhen I heard it, I thought it referred to domestic violence but was soon corrected to understand that suicide claims many new mothers.
I never imagined that you might have contemplated ending your life. Thank you for trusting us with that and thank you for making it a little more close to home for me. I haven't ever been close to a suicide so I kind of imagine it always happens to "someone else"
Thank you for your work with lifeline and I want you to know I want you to be ok but you can tell me if you're not.
xo
kylie: Thank you. I did know that suicide claims far too many new mothers. A happy time for many, but overwhelming too...
DeleteThank you for spreading awareness, EC.
ReplyDeleteJohn Wiswell: I am perhaps preaching to the choir here, but will continue to shout it from the roof tops.
DeleteI got caught up in my thoughts of 9/11 and missed this important post. You are definitely not preaching to THIS choir. I'm an advocate for both battered women and suicide. Being in lockdown has shown to exacerbate both of these problems. Feeling helpless in a hopeless situation, many choose this "option" as their only way out.
ReplyDeleteI touched on survivor's guilt in my 9/11 post. I tried to find statistics for NYC's (New York City) suicide rate after 9/11, but the statistics are either not there, not collated, or have been archived. However, I'm quite convinced they were staggering and the suicide rate jumped in the days, weeks, and months after the attacks.
You may have heard or seen images about the January 6 attack on our Capitol by Trump supporters. In the aftermath, FOUR Capitol police (or DC police?) called to defend the capitol on that day took their lives afterward. Remorse may have been the cause.
Granted, I could go on, but again, I'd just be preaching to the choir, here.
Bleubeard and Elizabeth: Thank you for backtracking to this post. I did know that four Capital Police had taken this sad option, and wonder just how many more there will be.
DeleteAnd I am very, very glad to have you singing this song with me.
Suicide has been a problem for such a long time. When I was a kid 2 of my parents friends died by suicide and then when I was 12 my moms boyfriend shot himself in front of me. I've had cause to call the suicide prevention hotline when I was younger so I know how important those hotlines are. Thank you for spreading the word.
ReplyDeleteMary Kirkland: I am sorry that your experience has been so very personal - and very glad that the crisis lines were there for you - and that you had the courage to ring.
DeleteIt's so sad that so many people suffer. I'm sure the ones who actually call the crisis lines are only a small fraction of those who could benefit from calling.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sorry that your understanding is rooted in personal experience. Sometimes it takes a tremendous amount of courage to choose to live. Kudos to you for making that choice, and for helping others to make it as well.
Diane Henders: You are right. The people who call the crisis lines are the tip of the iceberg. A very big iceberg.
DeleteIt takes courage to live, but it also takes courage to seek help. Help which is often not available.
I agree with Ellie when she says "Thank goodness for the Samaritans and Lifeline and for those people like you who offer hope, understanding and care to others who are at their darkest time"
ReplyDeleteI think now more than ever these special people are SO needed.
All the best Jan
Lowcarb team member ~Jan: The crisis lines are running hot at the moment, and breaking records. I so hope that we can help and hope that things calm down again. And that more government funding is devoted to mental health support.
DeleteWhy do you have such a high rate of suicide in Australia?!
ReplyDeleteI also saw that drugs and alcohol became a big problem, just why?
You live in a warm to hot, friendly country, what else do you need?
I certainly understand that when you are in pain over a longer time this comes to mind.
Instead of such a walk (great idea, back into the light) doctors told me I suffer depression (I did not, it was burn out) and talked me into the worst medication.
Some years ago - I´m not into soccer - a successful, rich soccer star took his life, no note, leaving wife and young child behind.
At least, as most love soccer, he brought awareness to the subject. ... for a while.
By Brother once said, and that´s a huge burden, if it wasn´t for me he´d shot himself (back then our Dad hat a loaded weapon in the living room).
Now he´s married and has two daughters.
It´s good there are so many help lines.
Too many people are alone.
And my deepest respect you are one of the helpers, I don´t think I could do that.
Back then with my Brother I needed to go to my doc cause my stomach hurt and when I told her what I´m trying to do she told me off, saying he needs professional help and that I cannot deliver that.
I have no idea what I did if Ingo passed.
And if someone could help me then.
Here, the cold and dark time of the year starts, that gets me down and then I think of the druggies in Perth and REALLY wonder... why there?
OK, I also saw more and more homeless people... And that looked hopeless indeed.
Iris Flavia: I have no one size answers. I wish I did. I wish there was such a thing...
DeleteYou are right about loneliness. I think it is behind the vast majority of calls we receive.
Our homeless numbers are growing. The disparity between the rich and the poor (and I suspect the difference in the support they receive) is a big problem. Thank you for your long and heartfelt comment.
You are one of the reasons why I love people...there are so many good, kind, loving people like you. You make the world a better place.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I come here, I feel I can do better creatively...which for me, is very important.
I'm seeing on Twitter so many parents tweeting that their child (mostly son) has committed suicide. It is heartbreaking.
Thank you for helping so many find the way out of the dark.
neena maiya (guyana gyal): I am an appreciator rather than a creator and I LOVE hearing that this space can feed your creative urge. Thank you.
DeleteSuch a wonderful cause, but those most deeply hurt usually fail to speak up. I wish I knew why 4 members of my mother's family thought it was the only way out. All men, father and three sons. Unbelievable and so heartbreaking!
ReplyDeleteI value knowing you. Such a beautiful and giving individual!
Yolanda Renee: Sadly the people with no ambivalence about their thoughts of suicide DON'T call. I am glad to say that more and more people are.
DeleteIt's all so sad EC! We all have to talk and reach out! Thank you for what you do! Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteMagic Love Crow: Indeed we do all need to reach out. And to listen. Hugs.
Delete