Growing up were you praised by your family?
We weren't. We were criticised for our own good (and it probably was), but very, very rarely praised. The rationale seemed to be that if we heard nothing we were doing well. Pride/vanity were considered to be the same thing (which I now dispute) and were not encouraged.
Thank you was rare too, and required something exceptional. We accepted it, and didn't question it. I have no idea whether it was common at the time or not.
An email exchange with a friend has had me thinking and I do wonder whether my lifelong battles with feelings of inadequacy had its birth in this family habit.
Some of my family traditions I keep. Some I do not. This is one I discarded. I am happy to praise people and to thank them.
Mind you, I am not happy with the trend I have observed where children are praised/given awards for participation rather than achievement, which I suspect sets them up for feelings of failure when they branch out into a wider world.
Were you praised/thanked as a child? And for those of you with children, do you praise them?
We weren't. We were criticised for our own good (and it probably was), but very, very rarely praised. The rationale seemed to be that if we heard nothing we were doing well. Pride/vanity were considered to be the same thing (which I now dispute) and were not encouraged.
Thank you was rare too, and required something exceptional. We accepted it, and didn't question it. I have no idea whether it was common at the time or not.
An email exchange with a friend has had me thinking and I do wonder whether my lifelong battles with feelings of inadequacy had its birth in this family habit.
Some of my family traditions I keep. Some I do not. This is one I discarded. I am happy to praise people and to thank them.
Mind you, I am not happy with the trend I have observed where children are praised/given awards for participation rather than achievement, which I suspect sets them up for feelings of failure when they branch out into a wider world.
Were you praised/thanked as a child? And for those of you with children, do you praise them?
