Wisewebwoman has guilted me into this post.
I am a beauty addict. I look for it (and I find it) each and every day. Almost all of my posts relate to that search.
However there is another side. The sunshine and roses are there but they are not the complete picture. I also live with chronic illnesses (multiple sclerosis, thyroid issues and a current mystery). They bring with them disability, bone-aching fatigue and pain. Medication issues mean that I also deal with ongoing nausea (which I have whinged about from time to time).
Some time ago my feet and legs blew up in spectacular fashion. They blew up to the point where shoes were an issue and I simply couldn't wear straight legged trousers. My general practioner of the time said definitively 'heart failure' and packed me off for a test. Which came back negative. He then lost interest.
My neurologist said that it was the wrong test - and didn't discount liver or kidney failure. I acquired (not before time) a new GP. More tests. Expensive tests. And they all came back negative. Which was good. And bad. Walking (which is already an issue) became more challenging.
The current GP didn't give up and started investigating my medication. One of them has been associated with oedema. So we scaled it back and then out. It is (naturally) the medication which was found through trial and error helped most with my pain. The swelling decreased. It hasn't gone away, but it is markedly less. Perhaps it was the medication at fault, and it certainly wasn't helped by warm weather. Further tests continue. The GP told me that I may have to make a hard decision about what I am prepared to live with - and left it to me (which is part of the reason I am happy with her). Pain is up. Swelling is down. Fatigue is up. The nausea is still there. Pain/fatigue/nausea feed off each other.
These are not things of beauty but they are undeniably a part of my life. A part of my life which frequently bores me and which I do my best to adjust to and ignore. I will continue to beat myself up for my inability to do what 'normal people (mythical beasts) manage.
And I will continue to search for and focus on beauty.
I admire Wisewebwoman and other bloggers who tell it as it is. I will occasionally follow suit.
In the interim I leave you with something which was sent to me recently. It makes a great deal of sense to me - and I need to remember it.