Perfect Timing

On Friday we have an appointment.  With the smaller portion's surgeon.  Again.

Over the last couple of years he has had seven abdominal surgeries.  The first was essential to save his life (after his bowel ruptured), and the rest have been  follow-up and 'tidy-up' surgeries.  There has been pain, worry, tears and frustration by the bucket load.

All of those surgeries have led to him having very little stomach muscle left.  Which means that an inadvertent move results in a hernia.  The medicos in their usual empathic way have told him/us that a big hernia is good, because his poor abused bowels can't get trapped in it and strangled. As far as reframes go that one is a doozy.

And he now has several, of varying sizes.  He hopes that the surgeon will agree to operate and attempt (again) to repair them.  I am not as confident as he is.  And dread the outcome - either way.  If the surgeon refuses to operate he will not be a happy chappy.  And if the surgeon will play we will have to go down the medical mayhem route again next year.  Which I dread.  For him and for me.   I suspect I would be calling it quits, but it is his body and his decision.  Dammit.

So I have been worrying and fretting.  Two of my skills it is true - but if I knew where my anxiety button was I would disconnect it.  Permanently.  (And the guilt button while I am at it.).

Overwhelmed is probably a reasonable one word summary for how I am feeling.

And yesterday I received a parcel in the post.  Which made me smile - and made my eyes leak.

All Consuming has undergone similar surgeries and knows what is involved.  And how much fun it is.  For everyone.

And this very talented blogger and jewellery maker sent me a gift - 'to make you smile in advance of the coming hospital visits of the New Year'.  She made me a beautiful pendant - and matching earrings.  And I will wear them when we head off to see the surgeon tomorrow.

Isn't it beautiful?
The timing was impeccable.  I am so grateful for all of the people I have found in the blogosphere - and this exemplifies the caring I have found.

I plead guilty

I was anxiety girl, then anxiety woman, and I suspect anxiety crone will be (or is) an accurate description as well.

Cat Condominium

Still hurting, still stiff, but what the hey.

Our cats have long made it clear that they consider themselves to be underprivileged.  They lie, but that is another story.  So yesterday we went to the markets and bought them a condo to replace the much smaller one that they have shredded. 

And it was such a success that Jazz climbed aboard as we were carrying it across the kitchen.  And they play chasings on and around it, leaping to the ground to run through their tunnel (seen in some of these shots).  Jewel has carefully placed her acorn on it.  And batts the acorn to the ground and carries it back again.  I am not certain who gets more fun out of it, the cats or us.

Towards the end of the day the sky started to glow.  So I wobbled/waddled outside with my camera.  And was rewarded with this.

Shortly before we went out yesterday I stepped on an earring. And broke it.   One my father had made me.  He has been dead for a little over twenty years and it has enormous sentimental value.  I wept.  And today I headed off to try and find a jeweller who could work magic.  And was almost unbelievably lucky.  The jeweller I approached told me that he didn't work with silver anymore.  And looked at my face and said 'it obviously means a lot to you.  Take a seat.  I will fix it now'.  And did.  So I wept again.

I am still a bit anxious about the commitment I have made for tomorrow.  Not only will I be knackered long before the end, but critiquing other people's style is difficult and delicate work.  And I well remember how much an off the cuff comment can hurt.  Still, my philosophy is that I can do anything if I have to.  And having made the commitment I guess I have to.  Cross your fingers for me please.