On Friday we have an appointment. With the smaller portion's surgeon. Again.
Over the last couple of years he has had seven abdominal surgeries. The first was essential to save his life (after his bowel ruptured), and the rest have been follow-up and 'tidy-up' surgeries. There has been pain, worry, tears and frustration by the bucket load.
All of those surgeries have led to him having very little stomach muscle left. Which means that an inadvertent move results in a hernia. The medicos in their usual empathic way have told him/us that a big hernia is good, because his poor abused bowels can't get trapped in it and strangled. As far as reframes go that one is a doozy.
And he now has several, of varying sizes. He hopes that the surgeon will agree to operate and attempt (again) to repair them. I am not as confident as he is. And dread the outcome - either way. If the surgeon refuses to operate he will not be a happy chappy. And if the surgeon will play we will have to go down the medical mayhem route again next year. Which I dread. For him and for me. I suspect I would be calling it quits, but it is his body and his decision. Dammit.
So I have been worrying and fretting. Two of my skills it is true - but if I knew where my anxiety button was I would disconnect it. Permanently. (And the guilt button while I am at it.).
Overwhelmed is probably a reasonable one word summary for how I am feeling.
And yesterday I received a parcel in the post. Which made me smile - and made my eyes leak.
All Consuming has undergone similar surgeries and knows what is involved. And how much fun it is. For everyone.
And this very talented blogger and jewellery maker sent me a gift - 'to make you smile in advance of the coming hospital visits of the New Year'. She made me a beautiful pendant - and matching earrings. And I will wear them when we head off to see the surgeon tomorrow.
Isn't it beautiful?
The timing was impeccable. I am so grateful for all of the people I have found in the blogosphere - and this exemplifies the caring I have found.
Over the last couple of years he has had seven abdominal surgeries. The first was essential to save his life (after his bowel ruptured), and the rest have been follow-up and 'tidy-up' surgeries. There has been pain, worry, tears and frustration by the bucket load.
All of those surgeries have led to him having very little stomach muscle left. Which means that an inadvertent move results in a hernia. The medicos in their usual empathic way have told him/us that a big hernia is good, because his poor abused bowels can't get trapped in it and strangled. As far as reframes go that one is a doozy.
And he now has several, of varying sizes. He hopes that the surgeon will agree to operate and attempt (again) to repair them. I am not as confident as he is. And dread the outcome - either way. If the surgeon refuses to operate he will not be a happy chappy. And if the surgeon will play we will have to go down the medical mayhem route again next year. Which I dread. For him and for me. I suspect I would be calling it quits, but it is his body and his decision. Dammit.
So I have been worrying and fretting. Two of my skills it is true - but if I knew where my anxiety button was I would disconnect it. Permanently. (And the guilt button while I am at it.).
Overwhelmed is probably a reasonable one word summary for how I am feeling.
And yesterday I received a parcel in the post. Which made me smile - and made my eyes leak.
All Consuming has undergone similar surgeries and knows what is involved. And how much fun it is. For everyone.
And this very talented blogger and jewellery maker sent me a gift - 'to make you smile in advance of the coming hospital visits of the New Year'. She made me a beautiful pendant - and matching earrings. And I will wear them when we head off to see the surgeon tomorrow.
Isn't it beautiful?
The timing was impeccable. I am so grateful for all of the people I have found in the blogosphere - and this exemplifies the caring I have found.
My very best wishes to you all, and what a lovely gift.
ReplyDeleteRelatively Retiring: Thank you - and isn't it beautiful?
DeleteLove the octopi jewelry! And what a thoughtful gift. I am so sorry that The Smaller Portion has to deal with all these hernias that are causing so much worry and probably pain for him. Hope the doctor comes up with a useful plan.
ReplyDeleteSue in Italia/In the Land of Cancer: The hernias are a side-effect of all the surgeries after his bowel ruptured. Not, I think, usually painful - but unpleasant just the same. And worrying.
DeleteNothing like a whole lot of medical stress to totally do you in. Both of you have had more than your fair share. Sending love your way. xo
ReplyDeleteditchingthedog: Medical stress is special isn't it? Not. And thank you for the love.
DeleteGood that some beautiful things can give you comfort - sounds like you need it.
ReplyDeleteJO: Welcome and thank you. Beautiful things and people are a very real comfort.
DeleteWhat a wonderful, thoughtful and timely gift. I am so sorry to hear the skinny portion is indeed having problems again. Hopeful thoughts headed your way.
ReplyDeleteDelores: Hopeful thoughts are more than welcome. And a perfect description of how I am feeling.
Deletethe gift is wonderful, bloggers are the best.
ReplyDeletehope all goes well with the surgeon visit. wondering if there isn't some type of mesh that could be used internally to prevent further hernias? they have made so many improvements over the years in medicine I can't imagine that there isn't anything that can be done
Linda Starr: Bloggers are wunnaful. They used mesh last time, but said that they weren't certain there was enough muscle to attach it to. And it seems they were right. Perhaps they need to think bigger.
DeleteThe jewelry is beautiful--good luck with the surgeon!!
ReplyDeletefishducky: It is very, very beautiful - and more than welcome. Fingers and toes (and eyes) crossed on the surgical front.
DeleteNow my eyes are leaking too! I'm sooooo pleased you love it so much, and yes, I know, too much unfortunately, and that's why I know that a lift out of the blue can make all the difference. You are a wonderful find for me on the web, and you like Octopi jewellery too which makes you all the more special. Hugs X
ReplyDeleteAll Consuming: Thank you, thank you, thank you. How could anyone not love octopi jewellery? And your creative, snarky self.
DeleteGod bless you both! Once more into the fray/frey? Will his sister be visiting?
ReplyDeleteIf you find a way to disable the panic & anxiety button, let us all know.
What a lovely gift from a generous heart!
Susan Kane: Once more into the breach - and hopefully finding a way to plug that breach. I don't know whether his sister will be down this time. More anxiety.
DeleteAnd yes, it is a truly lovely gift.
Sue, my thoughts and prayers will be with you both. You are an amazing woman and show such strength that I admire. Be strong xx
ReplyDeleteCarol in Cairns
Carol: I feel about as strong as a wet paper bag - but thank you. And thank you for the thoughts and prayers for us both.
DeleteDear EC
ReplyDeleteI do hope all goes well for you both and will be sending you lots of good thoughts across the blogosphere.
Best wishes
Ellie
Ellie Foster: Fingers and toes crossed. I had not long dipped my toes into the waters of the blogosphere when his bowel ruptured - and the amazing support I have received has kept my head out of water in some very dark periods. A wonderful place - full of wonderful people.
DeleteI've had abdominal hernia surgery and some five years later, I still have an awareness at where I was cut open. To undergo that multiple times is unimaginable. If it recurred, I think I would go down the watch and wait road.
ReplyDeleteAndrew: Frankenstein's monster looks better around the belly than the smaller portion. I would certainly go the wait and watch road - but it is his decision.
DeleteUgh. You poor things. There is nothing more that I can add to the warmth and concern already shared, except to say that you and the smaller portion will be in my thoughts also. I do hope all goes well.
ReplyDeleteThe pendant and earrings are absolutely gorgeous. Talk about perfect timing.
Wendy: Thank you. She does amazing work doesn't she? And the timing was superb.
DeleteOh, dear. I hope that whatever is decided and whatever follows from it will be a success and give you both some much-needed relief. The necklace and earrings is a wonderful gift. I'll be thinking of you tonight (= your tomorrow) - good luck.
ReplyDeletejenny_o: Thank you. I am so over this. He is so over this. We are so over this.
DeleteIsn't the blogosphere wonderful? Not only do I know all about your trials and tribulations (and commiserate mightily), but I also know that many of us love and cherish you and the SP -- wanting only the best for you. Whatever that is. And that jewelry is simply stunning! All Consuming is a very special friend. I'm only a little jealous. :-)
ReplyDeleteDJan: All Consuming is indeed a very special friend. And person. As are all the people I have found here in the blogosphere.
DeleteJewelery is beautiful, and the hernia is a pain. I know that, I've got one.............
ReplyDeleteBob Bushell: I am sorry you have a rotten hernia. I think he has four or five at the moment - not fun. And the jewellery is exquisite.
DeleteBest wishes to you and The SP. I can't imagine what you are going through and the anxiety. Know that I am thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteTeresa: Thank you so much. I know you have worries of your own.
DeleteNot only are they beautiful, and carry anti-worry and fret balm, they may charm medicos into understanding.
ReplyDeleteJoanne Noragon: That is it exactly - beautiful, and loaded with anti-worry and anti-fret balm.
DeleteThat is a lovely set.And the thought even more lovely.
ReplyDeletedinahmow: Yes - on both counts.
DeleteBest wishes to you both. Medical issues are the worst. Wonderful gift from such a lovely talented lady ... glad it lifted your spirits :)
ReplyDeleteWhisper Mist: Her heart is as big as her talent - which is saying a great deal. And thank you too.
DeleteIt's a lovely thing I hope it brings you luck and the result is good with the medical problems.
ReplyDeleteMerle.........
Merlesworld: It can only bring me luck. And will always make me smile.
Deleteprayers
ReplyDeleteAuthor R. Mac Wheeler: Thank you.
DeleteWhat a medical nightmare. I've been waiting two weeks just to hear blood test results, to no avail. I called today, they said the nurse would call, hasn't so far. If I don't hear today, since they're government (county health clinic), it will be at least Monday. Guess it's no big deal, but I wonder I even bother to get a yearly blood test. My cats' results were back the same day. I can't even imagine how you must feel with the severe chronic "difficulties" you deal with on far grander scale with the medical system and its errors and arrogance and apathy.
ReplyDeleteIt's just a CBC and thyroid test, exact same thing Miss Daisy had, with results same day for her, while I still wait.
DeleteStrayer: Hiss and spit to far too many of the medical profession. Empathy totally absent. And good luck with the test.
DeleteYes, these are nice but the thought--amazingly gorgeous! I feel for you and you have it worse than I so I am humbled again as I whine over my smaller issues! I wish you well with this appointment!!!
ReplyDeleteBookie: I am a firm believer in 'give us this day our daily whinge'. And your issues are not small at all. Thank you - and hugs.
DeleteWhat a lovely gift! Guaranteed to lift anyone's spirits. So sad to hear of all the hernias and upcoming surgery. (And here I am whining over the results of too much fruit cake!) Is it possible for the cherished one to wear a brace to minimise the likelihood of more hernias?
ReplyDeleteI hope all goes well and he doesn't have the rinse and repeat cycle he went through last time. xoxo
River: Sadly he wears a brace now. Except in the shower. And turning round to get the soap has been enough some days to create a new one. There is very, very little muscle left unsavaged by the surgeons' knives.
DeleteAnd it is the rinse and repeat cycle which has my heart in my mouth...
The sentiment is even more beautiful than the jewelry. Wear it with courage and the knowledge that you are well loved.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the chronic angst and fears. I'm sending good, healing thoughts to you and your husband. xo
Rawknrobyn: As I read through these comments my eyes are leaking again. Thank you. All. So very much.
DeleteI dont know what it's like to have a hernia but I do have reservations about repeated surgeries to areas that are already weakened. I'll put on my doula hat and say "i'm sure SP will make the best choice for him"
ReplyDeleteThe jewellery is gorgeous, when you wear it you carry the best wishes of us all <3
PS: i had a teensy panic when i saw that my spelling of jewellery was different to everyone else. and then i saw that you spell it like i do :)
Deletekylie: I noticed our spelling is different too. An americanism perhaps? Not to worry - we know what is meant. And I wish I was as sure that he will make the right decision. It is his to make though.
DeleteCan't imagine what you are going through/ But I send you my love and care!
ReplyDeleteALOHA from Honolulu
ComfortSpiral
=^..^=
Cloudia: Love and care are more than gratefully received. Thank you.
DeleteI hope everything goes well. Having to go the doctor for anything isn't a fun trip. Your jewelry is gorgeous and as you said, the timing perfect. I'm always amazed to find out the talents bloggers have. All Consuming is extremely talented. Sending healing thoughts.
ReplyDeleteMason Canyon: She is very, very talented. And some day I am going to say 'I knew her when...' And thank you. Lots.
DeleteI can't believe you are still having to go through this - both of you - but you do know that all of us out here in blogland will be thinking of you, and sending warm thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteAlexia: It has been a long ride and a hard ride. My family have always considered me weak - and I wish (some days) that I didn't have evidence to prove them wrong.
DeleteCrikey. You are the antithesis of weak!
DeleteAlexia: Family mythology can be hard to shrug off.
DeleteI am so sorry that you are both having to go through this. I will send wishes that the best possible outcome is the result of the visit (whatever that is). Sending hugs to you and I am so happy that you received such an amazing parcel in the mail. What a beautiful set to wear to cheer you up!
ReplyDeleteBest wishes-
Jess
DMS: I will wear this set with pride and pleasure. It warms the cockles of my heart. And thank you too for your healing wishes.
DeleteI love the ocean theme of the jewelry, and how nice of your friend to try and cheer you. Good luck with dealing with the medical world. Hope the surgery is a success.
ReplyDeleteHubs is home now and we're both glad he's out of the hospitals. He had five weeks in rehab and we plan to get a bit of respite support from a group helping those with heart injuries.
D.G Hudson: She put up a post with yet more of her oceanic creations today - and they are almost as beautiful as mine.
DeleteI am so glad (for you both) that your hubs is home. And I love the idea of respite support.
Exquisite necklace and earrings! All best wishes to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteGeo.: Thank you - and they are exquisite.
DeleteThat necklace is an example of how you'll always have people around to support you, no matter what happens.
ReplyDeleteMichael D'Agostino: And so very unexpected. And welcome.
DeleteMy goodness EC the timing was indeed serendipity. The jewellery is exquisite. How wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI shall send you positive thoughts and a bunch of loving hugs for the days ahead, with an added dash of bling.
x
Rose ~ from Oz: Serendipity is one of my favourite words - and concepts. And each time it manifests itself in my life I smile.
DeleteAnd thank you. Positive thoughts, loving hugs and bling help on the very darkest days.
Oh, drat it all. My heart goes out to both of you. Big hugs and I wish I could superglue your anxiety and guilt buttons into the closed position for you. The jewelry is beautiful and you deserve all the smiles you can muster. I'm always here as a sounding board for you to rant at. :)
ReplyDeleteRiver Fairchild: You may be sorry that you offered me a ranting board. Very, very sorry. And thank you. We will be heading off in a couple of hours.
DeleteNever sorry for lending you a shoulder! :D
DeleteRiver Fairchild: Thank you. Hugs.
DeleteWow. I am so sorry you and yours have to go through all this. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteAnd what a lovely, thoughtful gift from your Bloggy buddy! Happy Thanksgiving!
Dawn@Lighten Up! Thank you. And yes, it was a lovely thoughtful gift - from a thoughtful, lovely person.
DeleteI am so sorry for your woes. Hospitals are great until we actually need them; your smaller portion certainly has! Sending good thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteWebster: Hospitals fall into the necessary evil category in my head. And yes, they have been all too necessary over the last few years.
DeleteThat stinks all the way around! Health issues are very stressful, regardless of how serious. Glad you got a little present in the mail to cheer you up :)
ReplyDeletemshatch: It was a huge present, and a huge lift. And you are right about the stress of medical mayhem.
DeleteI have a girlfriend who went through the whole ruptured bowel thing. Not fun, especially since she caused more problems by refusing to quit certain activities while she was in a fragile state (she's fine now, but had a lot of problems along the way. Whatever the decision is about the surgery, I hope all goes well. And I'm glad that you have the beautiful gift to help keep your spirits up.
ReplyDeleteJesusan: I had no idea that bowels could just rupture. Nor did I know that lungs could just collapse. And the smaller portion taught me both of these things... Sigh. Just the same we have been lucky. Stressed, worried, infuriated - and lucky.
DeleteAnd my jewellery set is causing me many, many smiles.
So sorry to hear about your Smaller Portion. That jewellery is just gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteladyfi: We will get through this latest glitch one way or the other. And the jewellery is beyond gorgeous.
DeleteAn update for all those who loved All Consuming's work. If you head over to her blog (and the link is in this post) she is offerring a discount on her amazing work for a short period.
ReplyDeleteShe sure has perfect timing, doesn't she. As another walking wounded of countless abdominal surgeries, I can look back and wish I hadn't listened to the "promising hopes" and stopped when the stopping was sufficient. But we never realize that there's always the possibility of "one too many". I call it the "CARROT EFFECT". There's always hope being dangled just ahead of our ability to reach it without ONE*MORE*OPERATION.
ReplyDeletelotta joy: Exactly. I don't think he believes he has got to that point yet - but I have strong suspicions he has. And perhaps has gone past the one too many point already.
DeleteYou opened your present before Christmas! Bad, bad, bad girl, bad, bad. Go to corner and stay there until I release you. I too got a present from you know whom. I said I felt badly that I hadn't gotten her anything, but she assured me that everyone knows I'm a cheap no-account, so she didn't expect anything. This made me feel so much better that I went out and bought myself something.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about the hernias.
Shut up, everyone will want one.
DeleteHahahaha ;p
Snowbrush: I am usually very, very good about not opening presents before the day. My mind was absent and it didn't occur to me that Christmas was coming - and I am very grateful because I loved it now - and I needed it now.
DeleteAll Consuming: Anyone with any taste would want some of your work.
Perfect timing indeed. I'm sorry to hear about the visit to the hospital. I hope everything goes well.
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.
A Cuban in London: There is probably nothing that can be done. Which I am pleased that the surgeon admitted. He had another scan, but it sounds probable that surgery will not help. The surgeon said he would look at the scan and think about whether anyone had the skills and the interest in undertaking such a delicate task. And naturally the smaller portion is very disappointed.
DeleteWow, that is so lovely. The internet is the most amazing place, filled with such wonderful people. You are in my thoughts.
ReplyDeletetotallycaroline: Thank you. The warmth and the wonder of the blogosphere has sustained me often. So very often.
DeleteFirstly, the pendant and earrings are beautiful. I hope they bring you peace of mind and can ease your anxiety, even if only a little, EC. And I hope they bring good news to the Smaller Portion. May they give you both the strength to deal with these further hurdles.
ReplyDeleteAnd may all the good wishes and thoughts from us, your blogging mates, give you some comfort. You know, I'm sure, that we wish you well most sincerely.
Lee: Thank you. The news wasn't good - and probably won't improve, but the necklace, the earrings and the support from the blogosphere helped enormously.
DeleteYou have a talent for sharing and it is easy to wander through you life with you. I am hoping for all the best things and am so happy about that lovely gift.
ReplyDeleteGrannie Annie: How I wish I had nicer things to share - and thank you.
DeleteIt is very beautiful. It seems I'm not the only one that has real things to worry about. I hope things go better than you are imagining and that the hospital trip is a success.
ReplyDeleteLL Cool Joe: The jewellery is a joy.
DeleteIt was always going to be a lose/lose situation. And, at the moment, it seems that more surgery is not possible. And that the hernias (and more as they happen) are his future. Sad. And bad.
That is such a cool necklace. I am so sorry you're going through this shit again.
ReplyDeleteRiot Kitty: So are we sorry. Very, very sorry.
DeleteGorgeous! What a beautiful person to make you an equally beautiful gift.
ReplyDeleteI would love to disconnect my anxiety and guilt buttons, too. if you find where they're located and what tools to use, please let me know :)
Carol Kilgore: There are a few buttons I would happily live without - but guilt and anxiety top the list. I suspect that power tools are necessary.
DeleteAnd yes, she is a wonderful talented woman - and I am so very grateful to have found her. Like so many people here in the blogosphere. It has been my support for a long while now. A huge support.
Oh WOW! That jewellery is GORGEOUS! What a sweet and beautiful gesture. Not surprised, though. Everyone loves you EC and we all want the best for you and your smaller portion. Big hugs to the both of you.
ReplyDeleteCathy Oliffe-Webster: Thank you - and hugs back. You might not have been surprised - but I was. Big time. And thrilled.
DeleteIt is a wonderful gift in so many ways and I know you will look beautiful wearing them. I will be thinking of you and am sending a big hug ands hoping for the best outcome after your visit.
ReplyDeleteDeniseinVA: Thank you. For the hugs (and the misguided compliment).
DeleteSending love from MN, dear S.
ReplyDeleteWhat a gorgeous, kind, thoughtful gift!
xxxxx
My Inner Chick: Isn't it? And hugs back to you - with interest.
DeleteIsn't it wonderful how people sometimes sense perfect timing and send just the right touch of care when we need it most? I do really like your new jewelry, and I love the sentiment behind it. :)
ReplyDeletemail4rosey: So do I. So very much.
DeleteThe jewelry is exquisite, and I am glad that it reached exactly when it was needed. I feel for you and your husband, and I understand your wish for shutting off the anxiety and guilt button (I help you press and do it with my own buttons as well). There is not much more I can offer than that I'm thinking of you, and I send you a hug across the ocean. A big hug.
ReplyDeleteCarola Bartz: Hugs and caring are always welcome. Thank you.
DeleteHow is he now? And how are you? Gosh, you and I have the same buttons - anxiety and guilt.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely lovely gift. I bet it looks pretty on you.
You're right about the blogosphere. It's filled with beautiful souls amidst the madness!
Stay well and happy ;-)
Guyana-Gyal: He is, we are ok(ish). He didn't get the news he wanted to hear and it seems that he will have to live with the hernias he has and new ones as they develop.
ReplyDeleteNo more surgery is a positive. A big positive.
Far too many of us share those buttons. I can't think of anything positive either of them have ever given me. How I would love to disconnect them.
I've been so busy since last week, I almost missed this post. Glad I didn't. How wonderful to have such a good friend who understands. I haven't been through what you're experiencing but please know I send you many, many good thoughts and hope for the very best outcome. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I hope that helps you too.
ReplyDeleteMyrna R.: Thank you so much. The warmth and the caring I have found in the blogosphere do help - immeasurably.
DeleteI came back here to see what the results were with the Drs. That must be so frustrating!!!! Too bad there isn't some kind of "girdle" or something that he could wear to take the stress from that part of his body. Help to prevent more hernias from developing. As you can see from all the comments that you and SP are very much loved.
ReplyDeleteTeresa: Thank you so much. The support, the warmth and the caring I have found in the blogosphere touch my heart. He does have a brace - but sadly he has developed new hernias turning around to get the soap in the shower. Fingers crossed that there won't be more - but we know that is an unlikely wish.
DeleteWhat a magnificent gift to you, EC. You deserve such a beautiful treat from a caring soul.
ReplyDeleteMy whinging is put to shame and I hang my head low.
I am so sorry to read this, EC.
Sorry for you, sorry for your poor SP and so sorry that there can't be a safe, permanent resolution from the medical fraternity.
At times like these, I feel helpless and wish there was something I could do for you.
Thinking of you...
Love and hugs xx
Vicki: It is a magnificent gift. And no, don't hang your head low. At all. We are all entitled to have a paddle in the pity pool. Not a wallow - but an occasional paddle.
DeleteHugs right back to you.
Such a beautiful gift! While i'm sorry that he will continue with the discomfort, i hope that the news that there will be no future surgeries can bring some resolution and comfort to you both.
ReplyDeletedaisyfae: Thank you for trawling through back posts. No more surgeries I see as a plus. Him? Mixed feelings, and I am not certain he has given up. It was/is a beautiful gift.
Delete