Wet and Aggressive Corella challenges Magpie

Wet and Aggressive Corella challenges Magpie

Monday, 2 April 2012

A further update

The Smaller Portion is home again.

We have had an exhausting day wrestling with the bureaucracy at the hospital.  It took just under five hours to get the discharge complete.  In that time he had no pain killers.  He was sent home with three different ones but has refused them all retiring to bed saying he is tired and in pain.  I have no doubt he is.

They removed every second staple today (28 of them) and the community nurse will be around on Wednesday to take out the last of them.  It is a very impressive scar and does a neat curl around his navel, looking as if the surgeon hiccuped and continued on.

He has been rejecting food which, while understandable, makes it difficult to know if the ileostomy is performing as it should.

All things being equal the hospital have given us a completely unreliable promise that the ileostomy will also be reversed in three months time.  Keep your fingers crossed for us please.

He is vilely cantankerous and is taking it out on me.  Since I am also very very tired and in pain we will see who snaps first.  His sister is with us and, for the moment, he is treating her with charm - as he should.

Thank you again for your words of support.  I am hoping that now he is home I can play in the blogosphere again - though I still have those bulbs to plant ..........


  1. Well, it's not my business, but I think your sister-in-law is very mean-spirited not to have at least helped.
    Take comfort from whatever cheers you and remember that things WILL improve.
    (G and S posted a rather sweet video on their blog which might help.)

  2. Another phase to get through and, indeed, this too will pass. Take care...Love C&C

  3. Wishing you the patience of a saint...This to, shall pass....

  4. "vilely cantankerous"
    I know about that, although my L's episode didn't last all that long, but he did get snappy with me.
    I'm sure though, it wasn't as bad as what you are going through, all you can do is keep as calm as possible until some of his pain goes away. The mental anguish of having something done that he hadn't wanted is going to take longer.
    perhaps in really bad moments you could escape outside and plant some bulbs.
    I hope this all eases quickly for both of you. xoxo

  5. O E'sC I just want to press fastforward for you . . . So much to cope with. Maybe you could do the bulbs and rest some whilst SP's Sister does the nursing, as he's not so cantankerous with her.
    At least he's through this operation. Hoping and praying for a fast recovery, some rest for you . . . and some show of gratitude for you.
    We all appreciate and miss you. Hugs and love x

  6. Blessed Blogger is having hissy fits again so I have gone back to the pop up comment format. Thank you all for your support. It means a lot.

    dinahmow: She is helping. Quite a lot. Nonetheless I am in need of some alone time. And yes, I will go and check out G and S's video. Thanks.

    Christine: I can do anything if I have to. Just the same I would prefer that I wasn't tested quite as hard.

    Sienna: Patience I need. Saintly may be more than I can manage.

    River: I have every intention now he is home of escaping from both of them into the garden. Thank you so much for your good wishes.

    bugerlugs63: Big thanks.

  7. (((((((((hugs)))))))

    This too shall pass.



  8. I'm sorry I missed all this, I've been avoiding the computer because I've had so much to do and been on stupid anti-biotics that made me feel weird. No excuse really, I should keep up with everyone more closely. I'm glad he's out, and obviously there is bot sympathy and empathy from my side. I had an ilesotomy too, about 9 years ago. The bag, the lot. Getting used to your insides being on the outside is beyond imagination and he'll be all over the place, but it's generally harder for those trying to help, and feel helpless as well. The pills mess up, it's appalling and yet usual behaviour over here, and the last thing you both need. I hope you're bearing up as well as you can be, you're a strong lady, and keep in mind it will get better. It will. This time next year you'll have something else to feel shite about. I promise you. Big hugs from way over here. Keep as much time for yourself to be yourself as you can. Easy to say I know. Get planting. It always makes you feel better, creating. xxx

  9. I wish you both the very best through these trying times. Fingers (and toes) are all crossed for you!

  10. I hope all goes smoothly and you all get some rest. Lots of hugs....

  11. I wish you and the smaller portion the best.

  12. bless your heart....

    gardening will be good for your soul, not to mention a wonderful excuse to bail out when needed

    thinking of you daily

  13. This is indeed a tough patch to get through. I am glad you wrote an update, I was wondering how things are going. Now that I know, I am hoping that it passes quickly. Thinking of you and trying to send you lots of patience...

  14. It is not easy being a caregiver. Pain and depression brings out the worst in the patient and the person closest to them usually takes the brunt of their outrage. Hopefully, the meds will help, and everyone's lives will be easier.

  15. Keeping my fingers crossed and my knees bent for the reversal. In the meantime, chin up.

  16. My sympathies to you all. You are going through a horrible time. Hope the situation improves very soon.

  17. I hope he improves every day and becomes a bit more charming to you, too. Being the caregiver is difficult.

    I've missed you - I'm in that A to Z Challenge. Oh my - that is meaning do ahead posts. :)

  18. I am extremely sorry it has been so hard on you all. My thoughts and prays remain with you.

  19. I am so sorry that this has been so hard for you. Does he usually refuse meds? I hope you can get outside just to get away and refresh. I am glad that the sister-in-law is helping. Being a caretaker is so hard. Physically and emotionally. Hopefully things will calm down once he realizes that it is better to be home then in the hospital.

  20. Wishng you patience and kindness and rest, fer godssakes! It's all worse when everyone's tired. Don't forget to take care of yourself, try to stay to your regular routine as much as possible. The SP will come round as you set the normal example. That's been my experience. Hang in there!

  21. Adding my wishes for a good recovery and things getting back to something resembling normal as soon as possible! If I were anywhere near where you are I would be there this minute to lend a helping hand - or a sympathetic ear - or both. All I can do is send positive thoughts and much love!

  22. Hi Ec,

    Take some time in the garden to be alone. I hope things get back to "normal" soon.


  23. I'll have my toes crossed as well as my fingers :-).

  24. --Lots of hugs & prayers flowing to you from Minnesota. Xxxoo

  25. Sounds a lot like hell. I thought I had problems, taking care of all these darn demanding cats. I hope you can get lots of sleep and find a really funny book. I'm sorry life is throwing you these nasty curves. What about a margarita?

  26. Sorry, I have let things get away from me, and again will not be able to respond to your comments individually.

    Thank you all mega heaps.

    He is being a toad (understandable but difficult). I have spent the day in the garden largely ignoring him and his sister. Which probably means that I am a horrid uncaring person but I really, really needed some down time. Still do

  27. I'm wishing you the patience of angels... Thinking of you all!

  28. Sending you all love and support, my friend!

    Aloha from Honolulu
    Comfort Spiral


  29. Oh bless your heart. I've missed you and can't imagine how tired you are and how much worry and emotion you're freighting right now. I know I'm a terrible patient when in pain, so I hope he'll take some meds and get on top of that mind-numbing ache.
    Please know you're all in my prayers.

  30. take some time for yourself... or at least for the bulbs. it will get better. hard to see that when you are in the midst of struggle, but this will become a memory. take care of yourself...

  31. Oh, I'm so sorry. For now, I hope you can carry on, get what must be done done -- and look forward to the time you can take for yourself.

    Best wishes from Mpls,


  32. You have a wonderful group of followers.

    I hope you find some peace in the garden.

    I hope that the SP recovers QUICKLY!!


  33. Minutes feel like hours, don't they, when you are having difficulties like these ... hoping things improve soon.

  34. I wish I could do some of the suffering for you but of course not possible ... (no response required) ... hum ... ponders ... is there some interesting piece of triva I can scatter your way which would be interesting and slightly diverting?

    um um um frogs can absorb water through their skin (according to the little pieces of paper stuck to the stick bit of sanitary napkins

    um if you get really really drunk on red wine and happen to chuck up the next day it can look more like dried blood clots

    um um um best to empty out any designated vomit bowls kept close to ones bed that one might have used, as soon as possible if one owns pets.

    cheers, hope things improve soon
    xx oo

  35. Wouldn't it be nice if we could fast forward to when things are not quite so awful. I hope each day brings more and more relief. It sounds awful for all of you, but at least your sister in law seems to be giving you a break.
    My baby sister, (now over 50) aged 6 months, had a colostomy, for a year, without bag, just with binders and zinc cream. The skin was burnt off and never healed. It took, generally, two of us to clean her up each time, and I don't know how my mother coped while I was at school. It seems the medical technology has got a lot better, but it still sounds both painful and most distressing in all ways, and I wish you both a good recovery and results. One can only hope.

  36. I am sorry it has taken me this long to get over here and see you. I have been rather self absorbed of late and for that I apologise as you have always been there with supportive words when I have needed them.

    I am glad your SIL is being lovely and as she is a house proud woman herself she is probably itching to wash your windows or something or whatever it is that tidy women do. Do you have the sort of relationship where you can ask her what housework she would like to do?

    I remember the abject terror I felt when The spouses mother was coming to visit, she lives in SA and is the type of woman who checks the lintels for dust, where as I collect cobwebs. I was recovering from a full knee reconstruction at the time and was still on crutches. The visit didnt go well :(

    I have everything crossed that I can cross, that the ileostomy is reversed in 3 months time and I know how cranky, unwell husbands can be.

    I hope that your SIL decides to make your house all sparkly while you plant all those glorious bulbs. xxx LOVE

  37. My thanks for taking time to stop by. I hope things are getting better for you and SP.

  38. My dear friend,
    And through these ongoing trials and tribulations, I'm hoping, so very much, that the future is one of positive realistic anticipation and joyous fulfilment.
    Indeed, remember to be gentle with yourself and find some time for you and those bulbs.
    With respect and admiration, Gary

  39. Glad to hear SP is home, but not that he is cranky and ignoring the hospital's advice. Men are just the worst patients EVER!! I hope that bulb planting gives you some outside time and even though it might increase your pain, I know that you love your garden and your hard work will be rewarded when the flowering commences.

    Fingers, toes and legs crossed (can't do my eyes) that 3 months is the time for the next procedure. Hugs xxx