Wet and Aggressive Corella challenges Magpie

Wet and Aggressive Corella challenges Magpie

Friday 16 May 2014

He is home...

Thank you so much for all your supportive comments and emails.  They have meant a lot.

On Wednesday I went to visit.  He was on oxygen, a drip, and had a catheter and a drainage tube installed.  They had just promoted him from ice and water, to clear fluids.  And told me that they intended to send him home the next day.  The drainage tube could be removed some time next week.

Lemon-lipped doesn't begin to describe how that made me feel.  Ballistic with anger/disbelieving/teary/overwhelmed.  All of the above.

I considered simply refusing to come in and pick him up.  With no money, no clothes and no keys it would have been interesting to see the hospital's solution.

Somehow the idea that it might be a touch premature percolated into their grey matter.  So they kept him for Thursday, subject to review on Friday.

This morning, they were balanced on the fence.
 ' Maybe he can go home, maybe we will keep him for another day'.  'We will take out the drainage tube and see...'

When I went in at the start of visiting hours, the drainage tube was still in place (draining freely and copiously).  He was still on oxygen and he still had a cannula in his arm.  He had been told his diet was unrestricted.  Progress of a sort.

It took three staff to remove the drainage tube.  When they let me back into the cubicle they were telling him that he would need to keep a careful watch to ensure that it didn't become infected, back up with fluid behind the incision, ooze pus, become painful (more painful?), become red and swollen...
'If it does any of those things you can see your general practitioner.'
 'There is a three day wait to get in to see her.'
'Oh, perhaps in that case you could ring the hospital...'

Which we most definitely will.

Over the next hour they took him off oxygen and put him back on it.  They made him walk and cough.  They removed the cannula.  They took him off oxygen again.  And announced he was free to go and that they had someone coming into his bed shortly.
 'And if you wait downstairs, we have prescribed medication to go home on.  The wait might be several hours...'

He was already an attractive grey colour, so I negotiated for the ability to pick up the medication for him later in the day and got him home.

When I rang a couple of hours later to check they assured me the medication was ready, so I went back in.  They lied.  It was nearly ready.

There are still quite a number of unresolved questions.  He has an appointment in the surgeon's rooms in four weeks time.  At that appointment we will not be fobbed off with flunkies, or given a scanty 75 seconds of the important man's time.  I will get answers, and I will indicate deficiencies in the treatment he/we received.  And, if necessary I will go further.  And further.  Which will make the skinny one cringe.  Tough.

On a much nicer note, over the next few days I hope to be able to visit your blogs again.  Thank you again for your support and your patience.  It has meant a lot.

  



109 comments:

  1. when i get sick, i'll give you a call!

    wishing good things for you

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  2. Oh my goodness, what a rigmarole. It sounds like the communist attitude of no one prepared to actually take any responsibility for anything and just fobbing you off with whatever comes into their heads knowing they will not be on shift when you come next.

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    1. Arija: There is a lot of 'tell her something/anything to shut her up'. When I have challenged this attitude on previous visits I was told it is because they are toooo busy. A false economy. I suspect if they told us (me anyway) the truth I would 'bother them' less.

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  3. Hi EC what a time you both have had. It all sound horrific. patient care has gone down the tubes. I do hope now that your hubby is home, he will make better improvements although I can imagine it will be a bit of a strain on you to manage everything. Hope all goes well over the weekend.

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    1. Margaret Adamson: He is asleep at the moment, which has to be a good thing. Thank you.

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  4. The skinny one is so fortunate to have you as an advocate, but how tough on you. I'm hoping for the best possible outcome for you both!

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    1. Jaquelineand...: I am not sure he would always agree that he is fortunate to have me as an advocate. When I am making noise/waves he is often cringing. Tough. But thank you.

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  5. I'm thankful to read your second-to-last paragraph, but very sorry that you are going to have to do this.
    In my opinion they've sent him home far too soon, that drainage tube should not have been removed until it was no longer draining anything and he should be in hospital until that happens at the very least!
    It's THEIR job to look after him to that point, not yours. This is what hospitals are for. Whatever happened to "duty of care"?
    I do very much hope that you are both coping well and SP is not in too much pain. Keep his diet as simple as possible. Invalid foods seems the best option.

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    1. River: I would have been much, much happier if they had kept him until that damned tube had stopped draining too. He is much happier to come home. He is their patient, not me. Which means they listen to him (a bit). Questions WILL be asked. And answered. Feeding him will be an issue. I suspect that he will have to be coaxed.

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  6. My god, the revolving door of hospital "care"!
    I'm surprised that, along with their scant recommendations of what to "keep a careful watch for", they didn't say, "don't let the door hit you on the way out" as they called out, "next"!

    I'm so sorry for you and SP. For him - not receiving the proper monitored medical care he should be, and for you - having to take on the mantle of head nurse (round the clock), protector, administrator and medico arse kicker.
    Yes, you are tough, there's no denying that, but this is very tough on you.

    Please take care of you, as you care for your dear SP.
    I hope his grey pallor soon becomes a healthy colour.

    Thinking of you both xx

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    1. Vicki: I don't feel tough. I feel rather like a tissue which has been left out in the rain. Just the same for many years now on of my mantras has been 'I can do anything - if I have to.' I wish it wasn't tested so thoroughly though.

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  7. Thinking of you and sending prayers your way Soosie

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  8. What an exhausting experience for both of you and, a very painful one for skinny one. I am sincerely shocked at the run of events over the past few days EC. It's almost unbelievable.
    Do keep us updated on progress.
    In my thoughts.
    R.

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    1. Rose ~ from Oz: Thank you. I will try and post updates.

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  9. Sorry that I have not been commenting because my situation has been remarkably similar to Skinny One's, except that I was on my own. I thought it was just in UK where such things happened. There is superb, technically advanced, extensive surgery and then - a couple of days later - nothing. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by friends and neighbours, but not everyone is in that situation, and they can fall into a void, complete with drainage tubes and an abdomen full of metal staples. My best wishes to you both.

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    1. Relatively Retiring: I am so sorry that you are going through this too. And so very glad that you have friends and neighbours to help. Our best wishes - and shared grimaces - back to you.

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  10. I hope everything goes ok,are they doing follow up visits to your home, when the beer fairy came home from his three heart attacks and a stint in intensive care he looked like death warmed up and was very fragile but he slowly improved and the after care was very good , we had a nurse visit for a about a week every day and then about twice a week with tests done each time to check his progress but it is a very stressful time and hard to
    relax.
    I will be thinking of you and the skinny one, hope he is on the road to recovery.
    Merle.....................

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    1. Merlesworld: No follow-up visits this time. Any further care will be provided by me - or we will go out to get it.

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  11. I'm not sure what to say. My first reaction was truly SHOCK..HORROR!!! I am still reeling over all of the above and I am 2,000+ miles away from it all.
    This must be a public hospital as I doubt a private hospital would be quite that bad. I did come home a few years ago complete with drain and a nurse from Silver Chain would call each day to check all was well. I am hoping you also have such a facility to call on as you should seek assistance or you will be completely worn out which is certainly not good for you.
    Our neighbour had a shoulder reconstruction last week and they sent her home on day TWO as they needed the bed. She lives alone but I think she did have someone stay with her. She would be about 70 although quite fit.
    When you visit the specialist (I nearly put quack and that would have been terribly naughty of me) in four weeks time I would be glued to your chair until you receive the answers to all the questions you wish to ask regardless of how busy he may be.
    As said before, I'd be approaching the Minister for Health/Health Department showing my displeasure at all that has happened over past months/years.
    I apologise for sounding so cross but I truly am on behalf of the two of you.
    Please pass on our very best wishes to your hubby and you, dear friend, look after yourself as much as possibly can as you are so precious to us all. Still many positive thoughts winging their way eastwards to you. : )

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    1. Mimsie: Quack is politer than some of the things I have been thinking about this specialist. It is a public hospital - though one of my brothers was in a private hospital earlier this year and had very similar experiences. It seems to some extent to be luck of the drawer - which is so very wrong.

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    2. I agree with Mimsie; glue yourself to that chair until questions are answered and contact the Minister for Health. this "treatment" is just so wrong.

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    3. River: I will see what transpires from the meeting. I intend to be polite - but persistent. His treatment has been abysmal the whole way through. And so has mine.

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  12. Oh Sue, that sounds so frightening. And you are right within your rights to be angry. I really hope there are no setbacks at home for your sake and his.

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    1. Carol in Cairns: Frightening and frustrating. Fingers (and toes) crossed on the set-back front.

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  13. Bloody hell. It's almost a mirror in parts of my experience, some of it. Healthcare is absolutely appalling in most of the world apparently and boy that makes me mad, mad for you and the skinny one and mad at the people in charge with the cash to raise the standard who couldn't care less. I've had to wait for my drugs before leaving every time and every time I'm there, sat ready to go for a good five hours, and even then they don't always have them all. I am entirely with you on the telling them how it is score, it's imperative we fight these shocking systems and the fools that take part in them. Not just for ourselves but for everyone. Ginormous hugs dearie, try too make sure you're looking after yourself too, and all my love to the both of you. X

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    1. All Consuming: Incredible isn't it? And sucky. Now he is home things will simultaneously be easier (no big slabs gone getting to and from the hospital) and harder. But we will triumph. Again.

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  14. These lovely people have said it all for me. Dear EC, and your skinny other half: my heart goes out to you.

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    1. Alexia: Thank you. In the scale of things there are a lot of people doing it much, much tougher than we are. And the support from the blogosphere means a huge amount to me.

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  15. I've never heard that expression "lemon-lipped" before, but it is a perfect description of how you were feeling. I'm so sorry you both have to go through all of that. Hugs -

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    1. Lynn: Lemon-lipped is the politer expression. The other (equally true) was mouth like a cats bum.

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  16. Glad he's home. Deep breath - you can cope and he will be fine. Hope you get your answers. And let them know what you thought of the entire experience.
    Prayers for you both.

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    1. Alex J. Cavanaugh: They will most definitely hear what I thought of it. And yes, we will manage. Thank you.

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  17. My heart aches for you, I know exactly what it's like to have someone in the hospital treated more like a run-of-the-mill procedure than a person. Shame on anyone who does that, and I'm glad you're there for him. I bet he is too (cringing and all ;) ).

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    1. mail4rosey: Part of him is glad that I am there to take up cudgells for him. Part of him isn't and, like the hospital staff, wishes I would go away quietly. And quickly. Which bit dominates depends on the day.

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  18. so glad he is home, hope all is going well, get plenty of rest, both of you

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    1. Linda Starr: He is glad to be home, and is at the moment fast asleep. Which is a win.

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  19. Hiss and spit. Don't wear yourself out trying to visit blogs! Relax and spend your time settling your nerves, which must be shattered. Hugs to you. Go sit in the sun and take deep breaths.

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    1. River Fairchild: Rather a lot of hissing and spitting. Playing in the blogosphere will be a relaxation. Snatched between caring duties.

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  20. He is so blessed to have you as his patient advocate. Hang in there and yes, be ready to hiss an spit as needed.

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    1. Grannie Annie: Hissing and spitting come very naturally to me.

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  21. He will probably get better care under your hands. This sounds like such a horrible experience. All the new tech and procedures doesn't mean as much if it lacks compassion. It seems to be both compassion and common sense are rare as hens' teeth these days. Surely it will be better from here on....

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    1. Bookie: How I wish that common sense was common. Which it isn't. A cliche which is firmly based on a lie. And I would like to see a whole lot more compassion in the world too.

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  22. Oh Lord. I am first of all glad he is home, but thinking that something just doesn't add up here. Poor EC, you are his only advocate in a heartless hospital. I do hope he will soon be getting better, but if he does it will only be because of you, not that awful hospital. Love and light sent your way.

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    1. DJan: He is more stubborn than stains so he will improve. Where ever he is - but is happier at home. And at least I can monitor him more easily here.

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  23. Oh my, this sounds horrible and just bad medicine. Is there no follow-up for patients? For more than a decade, people in US hospitals are sent home quickly after operations. They say it is better for the patient because there is less chance of infection. However, nurses visit for a period of time to make sure is all is going well. Many people, though, do not have anyone at home to care for them, and other than going to an expensive nursing home, I do not know what they do. The medical community can do amazing things today, however, the personal, caring aspect of it has definitely waned.

    I wish the best for you both as the next few weeks will difficult. Don't forget to take care of yourself.

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    1. Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe: Sadly the almighty dollar has too important a role in health care (and lots of other things too). Care and compassion are sadly icing on the cake. The technical care is (mostly) pretty good. The human side of the equation falters.

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  24. I was somehow under the impression that in countries with nationalized health care that you had to wait longer for care, but once you were in the system you were cared for longer than you would be in the US. I got that impression from talking with people on the breastcancer.org chat room. I'm truly sorry to hear that I misjudged and that SP was ill cared for. It is so difficult when you are ill and in pain to advocate for yourself. I'm glad that SP has you to do that for him. I really think that the medical establishment isn't going to change until we as a whole stand up to them and demand it. Sending people home when they are weak and unable to care for themselves in criminal.

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    1. Lisa: It is very much a 'how long is a piece of string' question. After my mother had a stroke she spent nine months in this very same hospital. And mostly her care was excellent. Cancer patients are usually treated better and for as long as it needs. And those in life-threatening situations more generally.
      The unpleasant/uncomfortable issues get much shorter shrift.

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    2. I was sent home immediately after chemo and usually had no memory of anything until 3 days later. I was sent home with 3 drains and a complicated medication schedule two days after my mastectomy and reconstruction (basically my whole abdomen was rearranged and a large swath of skin and fat was sacraficed.) I always get sent home long before I am able to minimally care for myself (as in get up by myself to go to the bathroom.) I know the stress this is placing on SP and on you. I am so sorry that it is happening. No one should be left that weak and vulnerable. I'm so sorry this is happening to the two of you. I sometimes wonder if doctors and hospitals exaggerate the risks of staying in the hospital because they are being pressured to turn patients over too fast. In the US we call it drive by medicine, and it is just wrong. People need to be cared for while they heal.

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    3. Lisa: Chemo is generally done on a day patient basis here. When I was having a mild dose the skinny one dropped me off - but they wouldn't let me go until he came back to pick me up again. They also assume/require that someone will be at home for you too. Which is as it should be. I am sorry that you went through hell. And agree that people do need to be cared for while they heal. It doesn't have to be in hospital - but medical care is an essential. Too often a missing essential.

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  25. It has been this way each time SP went in for a surgery. Apparently that is the rule rather than the exception. You are a good writer ... write a "letter to the Editor" in your local news paper. If the hospital staff doesn't care, they will care when they are exposed to the rest of the world. I am guessing if you make your concerns public, you will find that you have many supporters some of which have probably had the same experience. It is all about economics ... as the rich get richer, the rest of us get nothing and that is the way they would have it. But we have the numbers in our favor if enough of us speak up. Bottom line is ... I am so sorry you both have to go through this. The world isn't what it used to be and this is just another symptom of it. The best thing you can do for yourself is get lots of rest and eat well so your body can follow you to the Newspaper office ... My heart goes out to you EC and to SP.

    Andrea @ From the Sol

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    1. Andrea Priebe: I may well right a letter to the Editor - but only after my other avenues are exhausted. I will start from within the system.

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  26. It seems "early dismissal" from hospitals has become the standard. Yes, I know one of the driving principles behind it is to protect patients from some of the super-bugs that seem to proliferate in hospitals these days, but it's still terrifying to be released while still weak, in pain, and oozing stuff. And I know being the caretaker is hard on you. Your hubby is very fortunate to have you.

    Sending lots more good wishes your way.

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    1. Susan: It is a question of money. Trumping care. Which irritates me (putting it mildly).

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  27. WOW! Someone is waiting for his bed!!! Why don't they just install bunkbeds. Then they can fit more people in for bad care. I didn't think anyone had visiting hours anymore. I work in a hospital and family members can pretty much come and go. With-in reason of course, the patient has to get rest as well as other patients. Even stay the night if they want to. We have chairs that fold out into a single sized bed. It is a public hospital. Not private. What you are describing sounds horrible. Of course our hospital and others around us aren't perfect by any means, but they sound like they are a hell of a lot better then what you have. Sometimes for us the insurance companies dictate how long we can be in the hospital. I am wishing you and SP the best. Hoping for no set backs. Hugs, Teresa

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    1. My wife is a labor an delivery nurse, and visiting policies are now so relaxed that a patient's room might be filled with visitors at all hours, and the deliveries themselves attended by so many people that the staff has to be constantly asking visitors to move so that they can do their jobs. It's called "family-oriented care."

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    2. Teresa: Visiting hours vary enormously. Even in this hospital. In intensive care there are no hours. In this particular ward they are strict about them - and lock the doors so that you can't get in at other times. Like early when the doctor's are doing their rounds.

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    3. Snowbrush: In the children's wards there are very rarely any limits on visiting hours. Ditto intensive care (though no more than two visitors at a time). In the surgical wards - limited numbers of visits and very limited time.

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  28. I see that America isn't the only country to move people out of the hospital more quickly than makes sense sometimes. I wonder how they justified removing a drainage tube that was "draining copiously."

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    1. Snowbrush: I don't think they even attempted to justify it. They did warn us that the fluid could build behind the incision. And might be re-absorbed - and might need action. Which could lead to infection.

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  29. Care in our area (socialized care) has also changed in the past thirty years - it has gone from a good long convalescence to being booted out as soon as one is barely conscious. We have an aging population, hence more demands on the system and less tax money coming into the government coffers - money which then has to be spread among competing concerns of health, education, and infrastructure. It isn't an easy situation, but none of the bureaucrats can think outside the box nor even reward efficient spending by the lower-downs. And to complicate things, our doctors are not employed by the hospitals, they are employed by the government, so accountability and incentives are removed from the hands of the hospitals who use their services, and medical decisions are dictated by money not medical professionals. It results in situations eerily similar to yours, where outgoing patients are sent home too early, incoming patients wait in hallways for a bed, and the politicians worry only about getting re-elected. Grrrrrr ... I hope SP heals swiftly, eats fortifying but easily digested foods (rice? pudding? toast? scrambled eggs? juice?) which are also easy on you to prepare. Do you have visiting nurses there? We have the VON (Visiting Order of Nurses) who can come once or twice a day as needed to check things like incisions and help with personal care. I do hope things go smoothly, EC. Best wishes and hugs from far away Canada.

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    1. jenny_o: I much prefer socialised care to the alternatives but yes, it has some flaws. Fairly big ones. And over here ours are similar to yours.
      His skinniness is largely refusing food at the moment (hiss and spit) but I will continue to push the issue. Simple, small meals. Often.

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  30. I'm sorry, but WTF? Silly me for thinking you lived in a civilized country. Sounds like the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

    For you, I just shake my head in despair.

    Take care ... both of you. Big (hug)

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    1. Wendy: Nope. There is not a lot around here at the moment which I would describe as civilised. Hug gratefully received - and returned.

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  31. Make sure he is getting better, please Sue.

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    1. Bob Bushell: He had better. Or I will be peeved.

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  32. I don't know how you have the patience for all of this - I know I wouldn't. You're a strong person for sure.

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    1. Riot Kitty: I think it is because I have no choice. And I am renowned in the family for being weak.

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  33. Bloody hell.

    (Can't think of anything else to say)

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    1. Andrew MacLaren-Scott: Bloody hell seems a perfectly appropriate thing to say. Even mild.

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  34. So very happy that he's finally home. It's a good idea that you let them know what you think of their service but just remember to breath deeply and keep calm so your message gets through. I'm still praying for his recovery and for you to get through this in the best manner. Dragon Hugs!

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    1. Al Diaz: He is very happy to be home too. I am worrying - but that is something I do well. I will be calm and polite when I express my concerns. Calm, polite and insistent.
      Dragon Hugs gratefully received. Thank you.

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  35. No, no, NO. I thought you'd be done with this one. Now more? Aw gosh darn. This one's over, at least. What does he have wrong? I've never known. Crohns or something like that? It is good at least you have free health care there. If you lived here, you'd be out your house now, living in a shelter, if lucky.

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    1. Stayer: Nearly three years ago his bowel ruptured due to diverticulitis we didn't know he had. This long, frustrating, painful and exhausting journey started then. And yes, if we didn't have free health care he would be a past person by now. Selling the house might have paid for one, perhaps two operations but it wouldn't have funded seven (and counting).

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  36. Don't worry about us, EC...you've enough to deal with without concerning yourself about us. We ain't goin' nowhere!

    And I'm sure I speak/write for everyone...thank you for keeping us posted on the Skinny One's progress...it is wonderful of you to take the time to do so...precious time.

    You and the Skinny One are the two most important people in your lives at the moment...you just take good care of him...and of yourself. :)

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  37. So someone was waiting for his bed. And that's what got him sent home. And to WAIT downstairs for his med? What if he didn't have YOU?????

    Is THIS what free healthcare gets you? Rethinking MY situation now.

    Poor you and his skinniness. Mom always said "eat while you can because the fat is the first line of defense." She might be right.

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    1. lotta joy: Our health care system is far from perfect, but no-one is bankrupted seeking essential care. On balance, while there are things I would improve, despite the ugliness we have experienced I support it. While reserving the right to criticise and complain.

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    2. In the US, you get under-staffed and indifferent care as well.

      I once took a friend for a day surgery (a hernia repair!) and she had a bad reaction to the anesthesia. She passed out during recovery. They literally were dragging her up off the floor of the recovery room, gray as a corpse and incoherent, with vomit on her lips, and insisted on putting her in my car. She lived alone. "Well, you can stay with her." At the time, I was a college student, and I could not stay with her. I blocked them at the door with my body and refused to unlock my car. She was on state assistance and they weren't getting paid enough to keep her.

      It's not much better if you have private insurance, but you'd pay several hundred--probably thousands of--dollars in copays and for things the insurance wouldn't cover. You'd owe the nice compassionate caregivers (choking cough) thousands by now.

      That said, yanking out his drain and throwing him out of the bed because someone else needed it? Callous doesn't even begin to describe it. What inhumane scum. Seven surgeries, and every single one has been incompetent, cruel and handled terribly. I must say, I would've thought a major capital city would have more respectable care than, say, the backwoods death traps here. Shocking, really. And when it comes to medical malfeasance these days, not much shocks me anymore.

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    3. Paper Chipmunk: Sadly himself aided and abetted his eviction. He made it very clear he wanted to be gone - which tied my hands. Hiss and spit. If he had been willing to stay/reluctant to leave my pleas *might* not have fallen on deaf (and arrogant) ears. That said, I do think that duty of care was breached. Several times.

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    4. Ah yes... why should he stay when he has nursing care available at home... That said, they shouldn't be so eager to help him undermine his own recovery. Duty of care... indeed!

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    5. Paper Chipmunk (aka Ellen): They were more than happy to give him want he wanted. What he needed? Perhaps not...

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  38. What a horrific ordeal you have both been through. I hope the recovery proceeds without complications.

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    1. persiflage: It hasn't been fun. For either of us. Now he is home he is being his usual infuriating vile convalescent self. But I can watch him - which eases my mind (though not always my temper).

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  39. All patients in serious straits need advocates as rigorous as you. If not for the one family member who cared in my worst medical hours, I surely wouldn't be here to comment. Bless you for what you're doing.

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    1. John Wiswell: If I hadn't completely ignored him and called the ambulance when this all started just over three years ago he would be a past person too. And mostly he is glad that I intervened. As I am glad that you had a family member firmly in your corner.

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  40. One has to be tough when dealing with these stressful situations. Good for you! You are a very strong lady to buck the medical establishment, but we do tend to turn into tigers when the lives of our loved ones are at stake.

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    1. DeniseinVA: Believe me, I don't feel strong. And would love a tiger's teeth.

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  41. I hope your situation improves soon. What an ordeal you have been through. Here's sending you best wishes to you and your family.

    Greetings from London.

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    1. A Cuban in London: He at least is happier now he is home. Which is a start. Thank you.

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  42. You are doing well. Unfortunately hospitals always do this, and it seems you often have to insist to get that extra day or so that is sometimes so obviously needed. I'm so sorry I have been away from blogs myself the last couple of weeks and have not kept up with this. Here's hoping to a full, speedy recovery, and plenty of rest for you, too.

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    1. Jackie K: No rest for me yet. But less trips to the hospital are a plus.

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  43. You are a beautiful nurse, S.
    The Skinny One must LOVE you wildly.
    XXx kisses from MN.

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  44. Sorry I've only just caught up on this...it just seems to me such a burden that when you need all your energy to care for someone you also have to negotiate all of the rest. I hope you are able to get some rest (though I know that's the hardest thing of them all to get). You are in my thoughts. xx

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    1. tracy: Thank you. On some levels it is much easier now he is home, but the worry is there. And rest? Something I snatch in snippets.

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  45. Just catching up with blogs, what a horrible week for you both!
    S, my daughter is still managing a wound from her surgery in December, I feel for you, believe me x

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    1. librarygirl: S is still managing her wound? That is so unfair. And yes, hospitals are vile (and sadly necessary) places.

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  46. Hi Sue,

    I felt it only right I backtracked to this post. Apologies for taking this long to get here, my dear friend.

    I shall keep this comment short. I would end up echoing sentiments. Such times your beloved and your good self have gone through. May some semblance of sanity occur. Thankfully, with him being at home, the environment for both of you will be more peaceful. Please, get some rest, both of you.

    Hugs and hope,

    Gary

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    1. klahanie: Thanks Gary. Sanity is still a way off. He at least is resting.

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  47. I'm sending oodles of love and support! A humble tip to ignore if it doesn't speak to you: No one (much less and ego manic surgeon) can be spoken to sternly without shutting down defensively. I ask for help. "I hope you can help me. We have some concerns. . . ." Everyone (even surgeons) thinks well of themselves, and being helpful to a sincere mother supports that!

    Warm ALOHA from Honolulu
    ComfortSpiral

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    1. Cloudia: Thank you. I will certainly be taking to softly, softly approach - at least to begin with.

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  48. Just now catching up -- very glad this surgery is done, but good lord, MORE? Sending you much comfort and the warmest virtual hug that can be looped through the ether...

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    1. daisyfae: Yes more. Aaaaaargh. Virtual hugs gratefully received.

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  49. It was painful reading this, oh that poor, poor soul!

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    1. Guyana-Gyal: It was dreadful to watch too - but he is home, and very glad to be hear. And is, slowly, starting to improve.

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