Wet and Aggressive Corella challenges Magpie

Wet and Aggressive Corella challenges Magpie

Thursday 1 May 2014

Soul Searching

I am a frequently grumpy introvert and most of the time I don't focus on the big issues.  I know they are there, but usually the small things are plenty big enough for me to cope (or not cope) with.  Essentially I am a watcher and a listener rather than a doer.

I give what I can to carefully selected charities and volunteer with Lifeline and provide peer support to other people with the dread disease.  A drop in the proverbial bucket - but every ocean starts with a drop.

However in the last little while two big issues have been nagging at me.  Loudly.  And insistently.

Suicide numbers here in Australia are rising again.  And suicide is almost certainly always under rather than over reported.  Not all suicide can or even should be prevented.  Suicide as a permanent solution to a temporary problem?  A very different issue.  I firmly believe that everyone who rings the crisis line with thoughts of suicide is at least ambivalent about their wish to die.  They want the pain to stop, and can perhaps think of no other way, but death is not their only option.  And I, and all the other volunteers will work on that ambivalence and do our best to help them develop a way to stay safe.  For the moment at least, until they can get to some other help...

My local lifeline centre has started a campaign with the aim of raising $1 million by November this year.  The link takes you to a short video.  We receive some Government funding but are largely self funded.  Training is an expensive and on going expense.   I don't donate money (directly) to Lifeline though I suppose that donating and purchasing books from the book fairs counts.  And I don't think I will give money this time either.  I don't even feel very guilty.  Lifeline gets its pound of flesh from me.  And I will be there for most of today supervising and supporting fledgling counsellors first days on the phone.

The next issue is bigger.  And I haven't properly resolved it in my head  or heart yet.  My country's treatment of asylum seekers horrifies me, angers me and shames me.  Over 90% of those whose claims have been assessed have been found to be escaping from genuine persecution and danger.  And successive Governments have bad mouthed them as 'queue jumpers' and potential terrorists, and built them up to be a threat to our well being and safety.  And now we physically and mentally torture them, and no longer guarantee their physical safety.  And deny them any prospect of EVER being accepted and housed here.  And are doing our level best to have them homed somewhere, anywhere else.  Without regard to their safety or dignity.

Who of us wouldn't take any means which presented themselves to ensure our families safety from persecution?   And no, I wouldn't join a queue (even if one existed), if the mere act of joining that queue would endanger my life and that of my extended family.

I have happily signed petitions and marched.  And recently another option landed in my in box.  Which is where my quandary comes from.

Julian Burnside, a barrister and human rights advocate has called on the community to show those people in detention centres that we recognise their humanity, and that we do care.  In this link he asks that we write to an asylum seeker on Nauru or Manus Island, telling them a little about ourselves and  to let them know that they are not forgotten and that we care.  And to enclose a stamped and self-addressed envelope so that they can reply.

One of the things which has made me so angry about our treatment of asylum seekers is the way we have dehumanised them.  Julian Burnside's suggestion is a step in the right direction.  It doesn't and can't of itself change the policies I object to, but it does show that people care.  It is a relatively simple way for me to 'put my money where my mouth is'.  But I don't know what to say, and I frequently feel over committed now and am reluctant to commit myself to an ongoing relationship.  So, from being angry and ashamed at my government I have moved on to being angry and ashamed at myself as well.  More thinking to do.  Quite a lot more thinking to do...

 

99 comments:

  1. So they are tried and persecuted upon arrival? Not very fair at all.
    Did I read that correctly that you take suicide calls at Lifeline? That would be so emotionally draining. And frustrating if you can't really help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alex J. Cavanaugh: We don't even let them land now, but ship them off and imprison them elsewhere. Men, women and children. For the indefinite future.
      The calls I take on the crisis line are challenging, tragic, exhausting, sometimes depressing - and so rewarding. So very rewarding. And the resilience of some of the callers is incredible.

      Delete
  2. Sue, you are just one person and no one, not even the government, could question your commitment to your community or people in general. Please don't berate yourself for what you perceive that you cannot do. You do heaps. You are a model citizen of how we can all contribute in our own small way. Many drops in the bucket will fill it ~ ever so slowly. Thank you for thus thought provoking post. I admire what you do ~ and you put a lot of time into supporting your blogging community to boot. Bravo dear lady.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Carol in Cairns: Thank you. I am still wrestling with it. It isn't a big thing to do, but I don't want to. And am feeling more than a little guilty because my reasons are feeling like excuses. Still thinking.

      Delete
  3. As you know, I can't read very well, because of the stroke, but, I read all your bit, and I do agree with you. A beautiful person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bob Bushell: Thank you. I really appreciate you making the effort to read my ramblings because I know how difficult it is for you.

      Delete
  4. I understand. And as Carol says, you are only one person, and of all the people I know you do the most to help others desperately in need. I think it might be worse for you to start something like that and have to abandon the writing, finding it too much on top of all the other parts of your life, than to make a decision that much as you would like to be able to help in that particular way, you simply cannot. There's only so far you can stretch before breaking - you are needed in one piece, not just for others (me included), but for yourself too. You're doing so much by spreading the word and the links alone. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All Consuming: You are right. It is the thought of starting and then being unable to continue which worries me most. It would be a complete betrayal. Still thinking.

      Delete
  5. The 'time' you spend on your causes is far more valuable than money. Anyone (within reason) can donate money. And more often than not, it means very little to them apart from dipping their hands into their precious purses ... whilst they hasten off to more pleasant pastures.

    I know how you feel. There are sooooo many causes I feel passionate about too (against cruelty of animals being one), that positively does my head in. There is so much pain and suffering in this world ... more often than not caused by us, the human race, who thinks for some bizarre reason (that I just cannot fathom), that the planet belongs to us. Which of course is absolute rubbish. The planet belongs to everything. Small and large it matters not.

    Sorry for leaving a blog post on the blog!

    Oh, and don't beat yourself up. You're one of the good ones. Can't say that about many people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wendy: Thank you. I am frequently ashamed of our species. We do a lot of damage. To each other, and to every other species on the planet. And if we found other species on other planets they wouldn't be safe either.

      Delete
    2. Very true. Let's hope we never do. The complete ruination of planet earth is quite enough ...

      Delete
    3. Wendy: Sometimes (often) I think the clearest sign of intelligent life elsewhere in space is that they have NOT contacted us.

      Delete
    4. Haha! You're dead right, EC :)

      Delete
  6. You are one person and are already doing quite a bit....add to that the fact that you have blogged about the issue and alerted others to it. There is a limit to what one person can accomplish EC....You are doing way more than a lot of us (read 'me').

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Delores: Thank you. But writing a letter isn't a big thing - and when they tried it last year it apparently made a huge difference to people's morale. 'Somebody did care...'

      Delete
  7. I know that you would have an automatic reflex of guilt because you are a caring person. Keep in mind, you already do an extraordinary amount of work to champion others! You go far beyond what the majority of the population is willing to do. Add to that your own health problems and I think that, objectively, you need to throw the yoke of guilt off your shoulders. I know that I wouldn't be comfortable writing to people. Yes, it's a noble call. No, you don't need to take on more. Let the people who like pen pals take that section.
    You are an awesome advocate for others, but take care of YOU as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I also agree with this lady. Take care of YOU! You cannot lead anyone out of the darkness if your own light goes out!

      Delete
    2. River Fairchild: Thank you. I don't feel like an awesome anything. Ever.

      Delete
    3. mohave rat: I am too stubborn to quit. And will buy batteries if I think my light is going dim - but thank you too.

      Delete
  8. There is so much about suicide I just don't understand, I had contact with it with friends and family and people I have known who have committed suicide have not always been then people who needed help but were in control most of the time it was a shock to find it is possible with anyone.
    As for asylum seekers, we have a small population and could share what we have with more people but the powers that be will not share with others, I would not like to be in their position, there is a old saying 'there by the grace of god go I' it would do us well to remember that.
    Merle...................

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Merlesworld: Suicide doesn't have any one size fits all answers that I can see - which makes it harder. And too many of us feel the need to conceal when we are struggling, and then get lost in very dark places. Which are much easier to slip into than to climb out again.
      And yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly on the asylum seeker front.

      Delete
  9. I don't think you have any reason to feel guilty EC. Knowing your health problems and how much you already do to help makes me ashamed that I don't do more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Molly: Thank you. Guilt isnt rational though - or mine isn't.

      Delete
  10. You give all of yourself that you can, EC...don't beat yourself up. You can't change the world but you do make changes in some people's lives; that's more than a lot of others do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lee: Thank you. I am not sure that I do give all that I can - which is probably why the guilt beast has me.

      Delete
  11. I think that suicide is a personal decision and should be left to the person, with no intervention.
    Your letter writing might be better spent directing it to those in your government to change the rules. I know it feels good to write to the oppressed but it doesn't do much good overall.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. goatman: Welcome - and thank you for commenting. I don't agree with you though. Or not completely. Anyone who rings the crisis line to talk about suicide must know that we are going to do all we can to change their minds. People with no doubts tend not to talk about it - and particularly not to strangers.
      The letters are not an either or thing. I will continue to lobby the government, but evidence suggests that the people in the detention centres feel isolated and forgotten. A letter can say that no, they are not.

      Delete
  12. Feel good about what you can do and do not feel guilty about what you can't. I understand your quandary, and I also would be uneasy about that request. This is a crazy world and we must be careful about what we get involved in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe: It is indeed a crazy world. And getting crazier by the day.

      Delete
    2. I agree--I'd be a bit uneasy with that request as well. It is indeed a crazy world, and our most heartfelt and well-meant gestures might not be accepted or seen for what they are. And even though you say it's not an either-or thing, I'd say put your limited energy into lobbying and spreading the word. It's not uncaring; it's practical.

      Delete
    3. Paper Chipmunk (aka Ellen): How lovely to see you here. I am still wrestling with the issue. Among others.

      Delete
  13. I don't think anyone can understand why someone would commit suicide. I have two dear friends who did, long ago, and after some regret and confusion, I had to let it go. You are a very, very caring person, one who just wants to make it better. I applaud who you are, dear EC.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DJan: The reasons for dying are legion. Some of them I have no problem with, and others are a far too permanent solution to a temporary problem. And a life time of pain for those left behind.

      Delete
  14. I applaud you for caring about this issue...it's a confusing one. I had a best friend that committed suicide and also my favorite uncle...so many unanswered questions....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kristen McMommy: I spend a lot of time on the dark side myself. Not really wanting to die - but certainly wanting the pain to stop. If I can help someone like myself it is a win.
      I am sorry for your losses - and those dreadful regrets and unanswered questions.

      Delete
  15. You've given us a lot to think about in this post EC. Dehumanizing anyone is reprehensible. As for the rising suicide this is so sad to hear. I also have had two friends who committed suicide many years ago, and more recently a friend lost her husband this way. There were other attempts and finally he succeeded. I am not sure what else could have been done but his wife and children are still bewildered and second guessing themselves. You have my admiration for being a volunteer with Lifeline.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DeniseinVA: Reprehensible doesn't begin to cover the way I feel about our treatment of asylum seekers. Suicide seems to be rising the world over. And yes, the pain for those left behind (and the guilt and the anger) is often huge.
      I get a great deal more than I give from my work at Lifeline.

      Delete
  16. I agree with goatman on this one. End of life issues whether it is suicide or assisted suicide or euthanasia Is a deeply personal issue and each case is complex and unique to the individual. Some situations are made worse by folks with the best of intentions. Raising hell with the government however, is always a good idea. Public officials are complacent until they realize there are constituents that are mad about an issue. Just my usual two cents worth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mohave rat: Yes you are right - and at least in part I agree with you. I wouldn't dream of trying to inflict my views on anyone. However, if you ring the crisis line to talk about suicide I don't think you have made up your mind completely. And then, I will try and get you to at least delay your decision until you have no more doubts. Your final decision is your own.
      And I do write to the government and lobby them. And will continue to do so. This is an extra thing. To try and let people know that they are not forgotten and that people do care and are aware of the injustice.

      Delete
    2. I have called a hotline twice. If the person at the other end hadn't struck me as a honest and caring person I would not be here now. You are an asset because your loving kindness is genuine and people can sense that. I am so proud to know you and call you my friend. Never stop being who you are!

      Delete
    3. mohave rat: Thank you. I try - as do most of the other people on the phones. And as volunteers we are there because we believe in it, not for ego, and not to pay the bills.

      Delete
  17. I am going straight to the crux of the matter, even with the possibility of heaping more guilt on you. Over and over in your comments I read "you are only one person", yes indeed, you are only one person but it only takes one person to start making a difference in this world. You fear the commitment without knowing what it would be. Think of the possibility of passing up this opportunity of gaining a real friend or a valuable learning that the universe has in store for you. Or they may not even reply and you will be off the hook without the guilt factor. I certainly will write and see where it takes me.
    After the war we too spent 4 years on and off in refugee camps until we found a country that would take us in although we first had to fragment our family. Being in a camp is no fun although it was better than starving in Germany during the famine. If Latvia had not been handed to the Russians on a plate after the war, we would have gone home singing but going to certain death did not seem a good option for us or anyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Arija: You are not heaping any guilt on me that I haven't already shovelled over myself. It isn't so much the commitment I fear as failing someone who has already been let down/betrayed before. If I am going to instill some hope (or try to) I need to be confident that I am in it for the long haul - or for as long as I am wanted. And between my health and that of my partner I am not sure that I can do it. But feel that I should.
      Am I right in thinking that you are going to take this challenge on? How wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

      Delete
    2. Of course I am. They need to hear from people who understand their predicament.

      Delete
    3. Arija: Thank you. Whoever does here from you is blessed.

      Delete
  18. I think we can understand and applaud a particular cause but have a gut feeling that it's not a good fit for us. There are so many ways we can be of help to others that we do not need to choose those that make us uneasy. We all have different talents and resources. There will be others who embrace this letter-writing initiative, just as you embrace Lifeline and others would not. Trust your gut, EC.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jenny_o: I am still thinking about it. It is not something I could do in a half-hearted way. I am either in (completely) or I am bowing out. Thank you.

      Delete
  19. Your first paragraph describes me perfectly!
    I don't work for lifeline or anything else like that, but I am often on the phone with my ex who rings me when he is unable to cope and I truly have no idea what to say or how to help him, all I can do is listen and offer the same advice his psychologist does, or remind him that he is strong enough and he's made it this far, hang in there etc etc, he always says that just hearing my voice helps a lot, so I guess that's something.
    As for the asylum seekers, I don't know what to say or do about them. Our governments have a lot to answer for there, with the detentions and all. Writing letters to them seems like a good idea, but I wouldn't know what to write and can't see a letter being much help, it won't get them out and housed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. River: I am sure that you are a help to your ex. Being heard is so important. So very important. And how lovely that you are ready to do it - even though you cannot stay married to him.
      I would love to see the asylum seekers (particularly the children) in the community. And, as I have said, continue to lobby for that. In the mean time the letters are a gesture to say that the people have not been forgotten and that people DO care.

      Delete
  20. EC, I have read all you have written and am slowly trying to digest it all. I knew a man who seemed to have everything. He was a professional man who was doing well and had a lovely family. One night he just decided to end his life and nobody could understand why. None of us can live in or understand the minds of others. I think the job you do with Lifeline is tremendous and you will probably never know how much you have helped individuals you've spoken to. I am a good listener but the strain would probably be a bit much for me. I take my hat off to you for all that you do.
    As far as asylum seekers are concerned I won't comment other than to say I always regret they didn't await their turn but because they had the money to get here they now complain about how they are treated.
    I remember the hundred of thousands of displaced person (known as DPs) after WW2 who eventually found homes in other lands then their own, most of whom have made a success of their lives.
    Unfortunately many of the countries these people come from now have weird religions that threatens some of their inhabitants. If only they would all live and let live perhaps there wouldn't be so many seeking refuge. I honestly blame religion on a lot of the unrest and hatred in the world today. Iraq and Afghanistan are good examples.
    I really don't know what the answer is and am yet to be convinced they are really being badly treated. If they are doing better now than they were back in their native land surely they are at least that much better off.
    I am sure you won't agree with what I've said and perhaps it is because I am now in my dotage that I have different views to younger people. My memory goes back quite a long way which sways my opinion I guess.
    Please don't be annoyed with me for expressing my views here on your blog.
    I used to write to British soldiers after WW2 in places like Malaysia which worked out well. I may give thought to the suggestion of writing but would they be able to understand English I wonder?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mimsie: OF COURSE I am not annoyed at you for expressing your views. I don't agree with myself all the time, and certainly don't expect other people to. Sadly, as I understand it, some at least of the asylum seekers couldn't wait their turn because saying that they wanted to leave their country would put them, their family, their friends in danger. So they sell everything and take their chances...

      Delete
  21. Our soul already knows what's right for us. It sometimes takes a while for our heads to catch on :)
    Go with your heart. If it really feels right, it usually is.
    Take time to decide.
    And, no one should judge (especially ourselves) either way.

    Your decision is yours to make. It's not right or wrong. Deep down, you'll know what is the best answer for yourself.
    It's personal.

    Guilt. Even though we are taught it is a negative emotion. It is, at least, a "humane" emotion, which shows we care.
    As long as we don't allow it to consume us.

    There are too many in this world who have no guilt - politicians included. They're the ones I worry about.
    I'm sure their own souls weep for them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vicki: Thank you. At the moment my heart is torn. Still thinking.
      Compassion hurts, but I wouldn't be without it. Guilt is another matter. I would happily disconnect my guilt button if I could.

      Delete
  22. It is such an emotional conundrum.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Grannie Annie: It is. And I haven't reached a conclusion I am happy with yet.

      Delete
  23. This is a heavy post and I have been thinking about it for several hours. We have just had a suicide in our town, of a 14 year old. I faced one when I taught..one in the family when I was a child. It is painful, painful business. I would say you are doing good things with your causes and should not beat yourself up for not doing more. It is amazing how each grain of sand matters...it isn't just the beach that is important.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bookie: I hope I didn't cause you too much pain in those hours of thinking. A fourteen year old killing themselves? The stuff of nightmares. I am sorry for the pain in your family too. I have so much in life and am painfully aware that so many others don't. So I do feel obliged to do what I can, knowing that it is as you say a grain of sand - which contributes to the whole. Thank you.

      Delete
  24. I do so agree with you about asylum seekers: they get such bad press almost everywhere. I wonder sometimes where our compassion has gone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ladyfi: Where our compassion has gone AND why it has left. I don't like the replacements either.

      Delete
  25. I started to read a book, never finished it because I lost it. In my memory I thought it was a movie, because of vivid images left, but it was a book. It was about native's, "feral people" they were called, transferred for "taming" to proper British behavior to an island camp, off your coast, where they died in mass, from diseases, being fed a bland British diet, compared to what they'd been accustomed. My heart bled for those people and I remember anger in my heart for their captors. Nothing seems to change. During the Iraq war, the first might have been, I subscribed to a site that asked for citizens to write to lonely soldiers stationed in the desserts of Iraq. I wrote to about four different soldiers and it was interesting to receive their letters. If you e-mail me the details, I would love to write to some of those folks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Strayer: I will send you the links I have later today. I don't yet have an address. While ideally they would hear from Australians any voice in the wilderness has to be a help. Thank you so much.

      Delete
  26. I did volunteer work once, long ago. It is indeed very draining and sometimes there are true horrors you must face that really take a toll on your faith on human race. One suddenly starts to wonder if it is truly more good people than bad, and if there are, where are they when it's needed. We got training too and you're right, training is expensive. And it is not always easy to make peace with internal issues that somehow mirror external issues. It was sometimes hard not to separate personal life from volunteer life and stay at peace. But in the end all those (few or many) who you got to help feel better makes it all worthy. AT least for one, you made the difference, that meant the world for that one, and restore a bit of your soul and faith back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Al Diaz: And you still do volunteer work - and reach out and support so many people. Your dragon heart is bigger than the skies.

      Delete
  27. Oh EC lots to mull over here and I don't envy you the dilemma about how much of yourself do you give and where to draw that line.

    I admire the work that you do with Lifeline, and I'm sure that your efforts will help those who are standing on that precipice. I know myself that in my darker moments that there were times that I felt as if I'd inconvenienced my surroundings by simply existing. In my experience, long before you actually attempt suicide you have thought about it hundreds of times, sometimes hundreds of times a day. It is a calculated decision, one that you have thought about over and over.

    When you are depressed you are unable to see past the minutes of despair that you are trapped in. And being depressed is not something you feel, it is something you do. You live it, you breathe it and you cannot escape it. At least that is how it feels when you are stuck in it. So anything you can do to bridge that awful gap and perhaps bring a lost soul back from the edge is worthwhile and to be lauded. You can't save everybody (and some don't want to be saved) but if each of us reached out to just ONE person, what a difference it would make. There are precious few however who do that - and you are one of those generous people who give of themselves.

    Which ties in with the efforts with asylum seekers. Just a touch of human contact - an acknowledgement that they exist and are being heard can make a huge difference to an individual. And this is what they are - individual fellow human beings, not some vague collective group. A letter - yes, it CAN make a difference!

    Unlike Australia, Sweden has a very generous and humane policy that sees over 60,000 refugees from wars in Syria, Afghanastan, Iraq, Iran, Somalia and Sudan come here every year. And it's a small country both in area and in population. There is a report about it here.

    I can't fathom Australia's stand and I've been questioned about it here by Swedes who can't understand why we aren't more generous and helpful to these people. By definition, refugees are survivors. They have survived because of their courage, ingenuity and creativity. These are qualities which we claim to value in Australia. And I think that if you assist newly arrived refugees to recover from the experiences of their past and rebuild their lives in Australia, you will reap the benefits of the qualities and experiences they bring to your society. Think of the former refugees from other wars who came to Australia and contributed so much. People like Gustav Nossal, Karl Kruszelnicki, Berhan Ahmed, Judy Cassab, Khoa Do, Nam Le, Henri Szeps, Caroline Tran, Alex Jesaulenko, Harry Seidler, Peter Abeles, Ouma Sananikone Jennie George, just to name a fraction of those who help shape the country.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marie: Oh yes. I am always amazed at how fast the fall into the precipice of despair is, and how much hard work it is to struggle to the light again. And am not surprised that some people never make it. It is unrelenting hard work. Been there, and still wrestle with it. And have also been at the point where suicide looked as if it would be the right decision for me, and for everyone around me too.
      I really don't understand as ladyfi said where our compassion has gone. And you are right - it is an shortsighted and counterproductive stance. We too would benefit. Immeasurably. And an acknowledgement of the asylum seekers' humanity and individuality is sadly absent - and why this cause tugs at my heart strings and my conscience.

      Delete
  28. I had a similar feeling on a MUCH smaller scale when I wanted to stop and offer a man a ride whom I saw walking in the country ever single day this very cold, hard winter. Safety was my main concern...but I was still kicking myself in the behind for not having the humanity to stop and offer the ride. Wishing you well on your thinking processes. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mail4rosey: Thank you. I hope you have stopped kicking yourself - and am still thinking. And brooding. And thinking some more.

      Delete
    2. Better to think and brood and know your decision is right for you, than to jump in or abandon without thinking it through. :) You're a smart gal.

      Delete
    3. mail4rosey: I wish I believed you (about the smartness). Thanks.

      Delete
  29. Big issues, as you said. Not easy to solve, but bringing them out into the open and using your blog to give them a platform is to me a way of trying to find a solution.

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Cuban in London: And now Arija, and possibly Strayer ARE going to write. Which is wonderful. And makes my heart sing this morning.

      Delete
  30. Big questions, big thoughts, big and complicated answers. My mother-in-law has been researching suicide, esp. here in the States. She's just dumbfounded it's never talked about. Even at her son's funeral (it will be one year this month), people came up to her and assured her it was just a terrible accident. One of the steps of preventing the preventable is *talking* about it. Being upfront. As for everything else, I don't have much to contribute but it sounds like you are on your way to some very compelling contemplations. Keep us posted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Raquel Somatra: Your brother-in-laws death was indeed terrible - and in my eyes made even more so because it wasn't an accident. And yes, suicide and mental health issues flourish when they are hidden.

      Delete

  31. your first sentence describes me much of the time.

    I had no idea that people were detained when seeking asylum and tortured but then again so much news is so negative that I steer clear of it as it affects my mental health much too negatively, it seems in our country we have opened our doors to just about anyone and those coming here in many instances have more rights than legal citizens the pendulum swings one way in one country and the other in another.

    with all the problems in the world, be they health and lack of jobs, and so many more I can definitely see the need for counselors to help those contemplating suicide.

    I commend and thank you for taking the time for soul searching and helping others

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda Starr: When I say that we physically and mentally torture them I am referring to our current policy of refusing to allow them to land in Australia and incarcerating them. sometimes for years, in off-shore detention centres. Overcrowded, and recently an asylum seeker was bashed to death by either a guard or an agitated local in a riot (not apparently started by the detainees). Others are held, again for years, in detention centres on the mainland.
      And the cost of maintaining those detention centres is enormous. And the emotional cost to the asylum seekers bigger. And I suspect the damage to our international reputation is comparable.
      These are my feelings - and would be disputed by some, and certainly by our Government.

      Delete
  32. EC EC EC if only the world had more people like you.

    I use facebook and yesterday I shared a ChilOut Revived screen shot showing that under the banner of 'Refugee and Humanitarian' the Department of Immigration says 'No way. They will not make Australia home'. I headed the share with 'I couldn't believe this until I visited the gov.au site for myself. So there is 'No way' that tortured, desperate people fleeing from unimaginable horrors will be given refuge in the lucky country with boundless plains to share ... what have we come to?’

    A couple of days ago I shared a myth-busting link from the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre when I commented that 'It's sad to see how well propaganda works but the truth is out there if we care enough to look for it'.

    Only a few of my friends hit like even though I know many of them care about the issue. Are people feeling powerless? Ashamed? Overwhelmed? Hopefully they have not been convinced by the systematic lies fed to us about ‘illegals’ and ‘queue jumpers’ and the ridiculous suggestion that terrorists would risk their lives in leaky boats rather than fly.

    My heart goes out to asylum seekers and I greatly admire Julian Burnside. I will write, and if it’s the ongoing commitment that is more than you can cope with why not write a one-off letter where you are upfront about that but still share your compassion?

    Sorry for the long comment but my heart breaks for these people. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, thank you for caring.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kim: The world has a lot of people who care, and many of them do more than I.
      I have written to Get-Up to ask whether writing once, or twice and then stopping (or going silent for a time) would help - or cause more damage by raising hope and then dashing it down again.
      I am thrilled that you are writing - and hope that many, many people do.
      And I see in this mornings news there is another 'on-water operation' which we won't be told about. Hiss and spit.
      And your long comment is more than welcome.

      Delete
  33. This is some very serious and tough stuff you're writing about. I can relate to your Lifeline thoughts, having volunteered at something similar when still living in Germany, and it seems the lack of funds is a common issue.
    Your second point hit a nerve with me. I had no idea that Australia treats asylum seekers the way you describe - but then I don't really know about current politics in AU. I do, however, understand the feeling of being angry and ashamed, both at your government and yourself. This is how I often feel about the country I chose to live in and my home country as well. Do I do anything? No, I don't. And am disgusted at myself.
    Sometimes I think all these countries are not that different from each other - after all, its humans who live there, and they seem to be very similar all over the world. Mostly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Carola Bartz: Thank you. I hope that if more of us (world-wide) say how angry and ashamed of Government policies we are that things will change. I really, really hope so.
      And I am pretty certain that most of us want to same things in our lives and feel the same about most things. Under the skin we ARE very similar.

      Delete
  34. You have a heart of gold, Sue. Really. Throwing cash at charities is certainly helpful and well-meaning, but I think sweat equity, or a pound of flesh, as you put it, is of much more value. Nothing beats the personal touch and personal involvement. A kind word, whether it be through one of those phone calls you answer, or to someone face-to-face, goes a very long way to humanizing the situation and showing that someone cares.

    So would the letter-writing idea, I guess, but for some reason, I'm not sure whether I'd participate in that or not. I've got a long history of being a letter-writing fool, but those particular circumstances? I just dunno. Like you, I wouldn't be sure what to say to them. A short note offering encouragement might be "nice", but it wouldn't have any "teeth", if you know what I mean. Knowing someone sympathizes with their situation might be helpful in some way, but bottom line, it wouldn't speed up the process or alter their circumstances at all. So then it becomes a question of whether those letters are offering encouragement... or false hope?

    Good luck wrestling with these issues. My money's on you coming to the right decision, and if you do decide to write a letter or two, the right words will come to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan: The idea behind the letters is to ensure that the asylum seekers know that some at least of the people in the country they tried so hard to reach do feel for them, know that they are human and not faceless. A glimmer of light in a very dark world. But yes, light without the power to change. That is a separate issue and is on going.

      Delete
  35. I think one of the biggest problems of our day
    stems from dehumanizing one another;
    I hear it every day on facebook with political rants
    and religious persecution and racism
    and all the isms, actually.
    It saddens me. Have we lost our humanity?
    It's a hard lot to forgive, all of this cruelty.
    Glad we get to share the journey,
    Jennifer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennifer Richardson: When it comes to the crunch we are all in this world together, and will all leave it too. And I wonder why so many of us (and particularly our governments) are leaving compassion behind.

      Delete
  36. I don't see Kylie among your commenters, so in case you don't know her, here she is: http://kylie-sonja.blogspot.com/. She visits the detention centers, so I know she shares your concern.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Snowbrush: Of course I know Kylie. And admire her for visiting the detention centres. Nauru and Manus Island are off shore - so no-one can visit them. And 'official' visits are discouraged (and often refused) too.

      Delete
  37. Asylum is a heavy process. My desire would be to shelter anyone who needed escape, and yet one's resources can be exhausted. It's a matter of weighing what you can do for how many people. And what repulses me in my own country is how many people don't want to give out to anyone at all - to save everything for their own pleasure and luxury rather than the survival of 'foreigners.'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John Wiswell: Resources can indeed be exhausted - and we are currently spending a gob-smackingly huge amount to not support or shelter asylum seekers. And it is time we remembered that we are all 'foreigners' to some one.

      Delete
  38. Dear Sue,

    I read this several times with my human before I even attempted to comment. What you have so eloquently stated seems to be a sad, worldwide phenomenon. Asylum seekers in this green and not always pleasant land of Britain are often treated with contempt. We even have political propaganda that would imply they are scroungers just trying to take jobs away from those who have never known the horrors that brought them to such desperate situations.

    My son works with a gentleman from Somalia. He lost everything and was shot by the rebel forces in Somalia. Thankfully, he got through the system and his gratitude to be able to live his life in peace, is a touching testimony to the finer aspects of humanity.

    Indeed, my dear human friend, we have to all be here for each other, sharing and caring. Compassion and love is the way forward as you know. Your heart speaks of love for the vulnerable, for all of humanity. Bless you and all you do, my dear friend, Sue.

    In hope and peace,

    Penny the Jack Russell dog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie: Dear Penny, I know that you and your imaginary human are full of compassion and love. Which is a part of the reason so many of us love you.
      Our political pundits and the shock jocks also talk of the asylum seekers attempting to 'steal' jobs, and benefits that they 'don't deserve'. Sadly some believe them.
      I am so glad that the Somalian found sanctuary in your part of the world.

      Delete
  39. I think you are an amazing person, EC, to do the work that you do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Riot Kitty: And right back at you. Your work is super important, and you do it a great deal more often than I do.

      Delete
  40. i haven't read all the comments so forgive me if i repeat something.

    for most of us, it is easier to donate money than to make some other kind of effort and i think your work at lifeline is enough, no need to give cash as well. i didnt realise suicides were rising and i wonder why, do you know? maybe your two issues for this post are linked?

    the letter writing campaign holds the same difficulties for me as it does for you so i am continuing to procrastinate on that but it must be said that an asylum seeker would appreciate even one letter, i know julian wants it to develop to a longer relationship but if it didnt, you would have contributed.

    if only everyone had the compassion you do and made the effort where they could, the world would be a different place. dont beat yourself up, congratulate yourself on being a contributor.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. kylie: I think the anxiety in the world as bad things continue to happen (here and abroad) contributes to the rising suicide rates. It seems to get to the stage where people are just hanging in, and something new will happen (to them or others) which is exhausts their capacity to cope. And it is possibly that for some of us the issues are linked. The reasons for suicide as an individual as the people - but the pain is common.
      Thank you. And I am glad to hear that you are procrastinating a bit too.

      Delete
  41. I love that you care about others in crisis, hurting, the unwanted.

    Beautiufl.

    S, will you sign me up for your blog? I lost my connections. xxsiammuse@msn.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My Inner Chick: I don't care anymore than you do. Hugs.

      I tried to sign you up - but was told that you were already there. So fingers and toes crossed you do get reminder emails.

      Delete
  42. I read Snowbush's post about the dignity of being able to take control of your own life when you want to, and it broke my heart, but it also rang true.You are an amazing woman to do what you are doing. Dehumanizing is just horrible.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Furry Bottoms: Dehumanising, and blaming the victims, and vilifying the victims are all too common. And so very wrong. And Snow's posts are often provocative, challenging - and so very true.

      Delete